Younger Spouses of Dementia Patients (VD) 10 to 20 years +-

mrahope

Hello!  I am the younger partner to a spouse who at this point has been diagnosed as having "mild cognitive impairment" last December.  I am 69, he is 82.  He is doing most activities of daily life  well, but has other health issues including a history of heart disease and colon cancer.  It is so sad that his quality of life has declined so far.  He seems so irritable and paranoid.  We've been married almost 44 years.

I am seeking to at least put our financial house in order.  I hope that will give me some peace of mind.  I can't control his illness(es) but at least I can plan the practical matters. I, too, feel the loss of the "golden years" that I was hoping for, having just retired myself in mid-2019.

I concur with counseling and have done that myself.  I also have a hobby of participating in singing groups, but since the pandemic that hasn't been very possible.  

I think the hardest thing for me is not knowing if/when/how this might progress.  I want to survive, but it's like running a race where they keep changing the number of miles you have to go.

Many thanks for the wise words from those who have run this race before me.

JulieB46

I am 57 and DH is 65.  His diagnosis just changed from unspecified dementia to Alz.  I still work, it is respite for me.  It also provides good insurance for his health care.  We sometimes go places and people ask if I'm his wife or daughter.  It makes me feel good so far, but I worry that this disease is going to age me as well as DH.  He is in a moderate stage, better some days, very confused others.  He doesn't drive very far anymore--he is fuzzy with directions.  He only drives to the general store 2 miles away or to my brother's house 3 miles away.  I now am in charge of outdoor chores as well as indoor chores.  He forgets how to do things with multi steps. This is nothing I ever thought would happen.  He is physically strong still, it is only his mind.  I have two labs and they help with keep my stress in check.  I hope your pup is doing ok.