Daycare ideas

mac9372

Good afternoon. I am looking for daycare solutions for my mom a few days a week but not sure she will be open to the traditional setting and wondered if anyone knew of or had ideas on something that made her feel like she was helping or volunteering. She used to be a nurse and keeps talking about going back to work and wants to do something that helps others. This might not be a possibility or something that even exists but I thought I would ask.

Cynbar

There are basically 2 types of daycares. One is mostly a social arrangement, there are activities and meals but not much hands on care, it's usually for dementia patients who are still pretty capable physically. The other is a medical day care, staffed with nurses and aides who do provide personal care, medications, etc. The latter is often more expensive because it offers more assistance. Many of the patients will be disabled and need "nursing" care --- if she went to one of those, you might be able to sell it as a place needing her nursing skills. Other posters have said that their LOs went willingly as long as they thought they were volunteering.

MN Chickadee

I'm not sure what stage your mom is in, but in my experience some of the things we feel need extensive or plausible explanation just do not; our LO's brain does not work like ours. I would tell her the local "senior center" needs volunteers and I have signed us up. Talk up her nursing background and how she can help people there. Go together the first day to "volunteer", when she meets the staff talk up her nursing expertise. You might excuse yourself for an appointment and say you will come back for her soon, or just slip out depending on her personality and anxiety. Most daycares geared for dementia will have staff who totally get this. They will run with whatever works and find what makes the person tick when in their care. My mother needed to be busy, so they had her clearing tables, sweeping, helping to pass stuff out, helping others with their crafts. She thrived with this, because she felt useful. The first days may still be hard but hang in there. Many clients think they work or volunteer there, but that is often kind of an unspoken process. They didn't show up the first day thinking they work there,  but as their memory problems erase reality and they settle in they start to believe this. It's not like any of them really do anything specific that suggests they work there, it's just where their mind goes after a while. After she settled in to her day program, my mother formed this narrative of teaching there. She would talk about needed to get there before the children and get ready to teach. (The only thing I can think of is she would walk past a preschool playground on the way to get there, and she associated seeing the kids with going to her program.) Just say whatever you need to to get mom to go and stay when you leave, and after some time she will probably settle in one way or another.