Mom has started to take showers on her own in the middle of the night!

rpcasillas

My 89 yr old mom is now in mid to late stage Alzheimer's with dementia. We have gone through some of the "typical" phases with her behaviors that have been manageable up to this point.  In these last couple of days she has been getting up in the middle of the night and attempting to shower and dress herself. When I "caught her" this morning, there was water all over the bathroom floor (scared me half to death, thinking about what could have happened). Thank goodness she didn't slip and fall! Has any caregiver out there had this experience? If so, how did you handle and was it a phase? Her doctors have said to me that she can stay with me as long as I can provide a safe environment for her to live in, (i.e., her symptoms don't become too difficult/dangerous for me to handle). I am very worried about this. I want my mom here with me, in my house as long as humanly possible. She is taking the highest dosage of Quetiapine that up to this point helped her get a good night's sleep -- at least 70% of the time. But this is no longer the case. I have an appointment set up with her doctor this coming Tuesday to discuss these issues and possible solutions. Here, in this forum, I am looking for any insights that anyone may have, could be tactical/chemical, etc. in effectively addressing this issue. I understand that I cannot reason with her and obviously I cannot prevent her from getting up and going to the restroom at anytime, day or night, but this showering in the middle of the night routine could lead to a bad slip and fall and that is my worst nightmare! Thanks in advance.

ButterflyWings

Welcome to posting rpcasillas. 

This is a good group of wise, caring people though our wisdom has been earned the hard way sometimes, through trial and error trying to manage with dementia.

We added natural Melatonin to my DHs nighttime quetiapine and sertraline meds, as a sleep aid (for me to get some rest, really). It works well for us. His Dr. said start at 2-3 mg, but he is a 10mg person before he feels it enough to even start yawning. We haven't seen any negative side effects. 

I was going to send you a silly reply when I first saw your headline... Middle of the night shower? My first thought was, "I wish!!!" DH is digging in on his recent flat out refusal to bathe, shower, or change anymore. It just doesn't happen anymore without a serious struggle. He doesn't do a lot to get dirty or sweaty but still...2 weeks is too long, and its pulling teeth to get him to shower even once in 2 weeks. All of a sudden, just like your mom. 

The only other random thought is that when our PWD LOs have a sudden behavioral change, it sometimes signals a silent UTI. Worth checking.

David J

My DW has gotten into the habit of getting up about 3:00 am and walking around opening and closing doors, taking stacks of towels and clothes back and forth, folding them and Re folding on the bed (with me in it) and all sorts of noises but meaningless activities. I am a deep sleeper, but this activity eventually wakes me. I give her one more mg of Quitiapine (4 mg max for the day).  She thanks me, gets back in bed and we go back to sleep. Not ideal but it works.

rpcasillas

THANK YOU BUTTERFLY WINGS! 

I am so appreciative that you took the time to reply to me. Your reply, in and of itself has lifted my spirits! I will text her doctor today and ask about the addition of the melatonin to her meds. This makes total sense! I have always been of the mindset that to every problem there is a solution. I know that as this disease progresses, practical solutions will become less but I am a fighter (and so is my mom) and with the support of my family and with caring people such as yourself, it will give me the strength to face today and what is to come. 

M1

Do you have a monitor or a bed alarm where you can hear when she gets up?  Not ideal, as it would disturb your sleep.  Or--perhaps there's a way you can turn the water off in the shower? Or install a cutoff? Or even put some kind of lock on the shower door, if there is one? Those things might call for a discussion with a plumber/home repair person

rpcasillas

THANKS DAVID J! 

I appreciate your response! I am gong to address your suggestion with her doctor.

It's so hard to second guess this disease and the associated behaviors. Every patient is different but yet I realize there are definite common threads when it comes to the expressed behaviors. I can relate to your account of repetitive activities.  I could manage repetition with diversion and other reasonable tactics, but this morning really scared me and prompted me to reach out on this forum. I am truly grateful! 

Thanks again for your kindness. 

rpcasillas

Dear M1, 

Great practical solutions that I am going to look into! Thanks so much for responding to my posting! I am not alone in this....thanks to caring people like you

May flowers

I second the suggestion of melatonin, that has really helped my FIL.

Also, we got an alarm mat that sits on the floor - it has a separate unit that chimes that we put in our bedroom (the mat itself does not chime). We put it at the top of our stairs so he wouldn’t wander downstairs at night, but you could put it by the bed or by the bedroom door or bathroom door. 

rpcasillas

May Flowers, thank your for the great suggestion!!

harshedbuzz

rpcasillas-

I have a dear friend whose mom went through the middle-of-the-night showering phase.

I would definitely reach out to her prescribing physician. I'm not sure what a maximum dose of Seroquel is- people with schizophrenia often require massive doses. I have a friend with bipolar who takes 400mg now but has been as high as 800. 

IME, melatonin is worth a trial, but typically it helps with falling asleep for most folks, not for staying asleep. And for many, the benefit seems to fade after 10-14 days when it does help. 

My friend who lived this, installed motion detector pads on either side of mom's bed which alerted her smart phone. This allowed her to redirect mom to bed after awakening otherwise mom would be showered and dressed for the day anytime between 1am and about 4am. This was hard; her husband was traveling 3 weeks out of the month so it was on her 100% except for a semester when her younger son was home and they could split the nights. He was a night owl who held onto her phone until about 3am when he handed it over to his mom who went to bed extra early. For my friend's mom this was a phase, but it lasted well over a year until the very later stages. She was also prone to wandering the house and eloping.

HB

abc123

Hello and Welcome,

My Mom is 81 and stage 5/6. For about a year now she gets up during the night to take a bath. She doesn’t use soap so it’s not really a bath just another opportunity to make a huge mess for my Dad to deal with. She forgets to put on a fresh Depends so she wets the bed. She will take several bathes a day/during the night. When at my house I use duct tape on the tub and tell her it’s broken. I make a big X with the tape over the tub. I do worry about her slipping and getting hurt. I’m sorry you are dealing with this. I hope things get better for you and your Mom.

LicketyGlitz

So much good recommendations here, rpc, I have nothing further to add and hope one or two of these suggestions help.

But I had to comment because BUTTERFLYWINGS my mind went to the exact same thing! Sorry, rpc, clearly were a couple of caregivers who have moved heaven and earth to get our dementia people into the showerto no avail. Finding out another household has the opposite problem makes me think to myself... "Oh, if only I could have been so lucky."

Good luck to you and your mom!