Tips for simplifying the journey - PLEASE SHARE

LadyTexan

Within another post, jfkoc suggested simplification. I have tried to simplify our household with the intent of making the dementia journey more manageable. For example:

1. Making meals that are easy and that can be eaten for several days. My go to meals are pot roast in the slow cooker and chicken pot pie.
2. Replacing DH's pants that have zippers and buttons with elastic waist pants and shorts.
3. Using paper plates and disposable cups without guilt.
4. Purchasing a Providence scoop plate that allows DH more success when scooping up his food.
5. Establishing a daily routine.
6. Avoiding unnecessary conversations with DH and choosing my battles.
7. Purging unnecessary items from my life. For example, 
   1. I sold one of our two cars, 
   2. I purged my work clothes after I retired, 
   3. with DH's knowledge I deactivated his social media accounts, 
   4. I donated kitchen gadgets that I acquired and never used over the years.
    
8. Eliminating all carpets and rugs in the house.
9. Installing safety bars.
10. Using shaving cream to remove dried poop.

These are not my ideas. I learned them from the care giver heroes here. I didn't implement them over night. Several took clever strategies, courage and time to put into place. All have been worth it.

Please share your experience and tips with simplification. Help us learn what works, as well as what does not. THANKS!

Lorita

Morning,

 I think one of the main things - and you mentioned it - is to pick your battles.  Don't sweat the small stuff - there's much bigger, more important things to come.

 Another one I found useful was to rest or nap when they do.  You need your rest.

Crushed

Very good , a few thoughts

1) Floors demand special thought.  the memory care facility corridor floors are carefully carpeted with  material that provides good traction.  Eating areas are tile

2) DW's "go to" garment at home was a "patio dress" with snaps.  worked great

3) I installed a small LED reading light above the toilet that was always on , helped a lot.

I'm a pot pie maker (i have 5 in my freezer right now but DW cant eat them )  my go to finger food for lunch is fish sticks

LadyTexan

More great ideas are available on the Caregivers Forum page under the posting by daisy_101 at https://www.alzconnected.org/discussion.aspx?g=posts&t=2147556369 original post date 4/11/2021.

Joe C.

LadyTexan, I have learned many of the same strategies along the way. 

My go to dinners are stir fries with colorful vegetables, protein and pasta or pasta (but never spaghetti) & meatballs. I can cook in large batches of each and serve later. I put a lot of veggies in my pasta sauce and with the vegetables, protein & carbs mixed together DW eats a more balanced diet. If I serve a a dinner like meat, potato & vegetable DW tends to only concentrate on one food group. I have learn to have color contrast on the plate, never serve something like a white fish with mashed potato together or on a light colored plate. DW can not distinguish the difference between the food groups or the food and the plate if they are both the same color. OH the things we need to learn!

60 falcon

All great ideas. And I do several of them.

Some additional ones that I do:

Slip-on shoes.  (Someone here suggested Kizik shoes. I bought two pair at 50% off for DW.  She loves them.)

Got rid of all dw's make up.

There's nothing on the bathroom vanity or around the sink. Makes it easy to wipe up messes from brushing teeth.

Electric toothbrush & brush my teeth at the same time. Otherwise DW will only brush for a few seconds.

Don't put off cleaning and chores.  (Easier to do many small chores than wait until messes and problems get bigger.)

This is a great thread and I hope many more of you add to it.  

Ed1937

It's easier to do minor cleaning every day than to let it go until it seems unmanageable. 

The house doesn't have to be spotless. Good enough is good enough.

Layer sheets on the bed.

Set up auto pay online for the bills you can do that with (that's most of them).

Set alarm on your phone an hour or so after it's time for meds. You won't forget that way.

Set reminders for doctor appointments, etc.

Buy in bulk when it makes sense.

Consult with a certified elder law attorney early in your dementia trip.

LadyTexan

Thank you for sharing everyone!

@Crushed - do you freeze the pot pies before you bake them or after you bake them?

Arrowhead

 Once or twice a week I fix Hamburger Helper. I get 2 meals out of it. If I add vegetables or other things, I can get 3 meals. I got rid of all of her clothes with any kind of fasteners; everything is pull-on. There is a nightlight in the bathroom at all times. She forgets to turn the light on, so I also put in a motion detection light that is a lot brighter.

Crushed

LadyTexan wrote:

Thank you for sharing everyone!

@Crushed - do you freeze the pot pies before you bake them or after you bake them?

After.  Sometimes I cut them in slices before freezing.   I will thaw a slice in the fridge for a day and heat it in the toaster oven.  My brother and his wife have some heaith issues and sometimes I can just deliver them a frozen pot pie. 

My daughter posted her recipe for Thanksgiving turkey on Facebook

1) call my dad
2) Tell him how many people and  when you need the turkey
3) When the doorbell rings open the door and there will be a perfect turkey   

I have a turkey thawing in the fridge right now. 
I buy them in December when they are cheap

I make the fish sticks for DW in the toaster oven too

 

Jeff86

Covid has taught us we don’t need to go into grocery stores.  While this was initially a safety issue, it’s also a convenience and time-saving matter.

I use Instacart.  Takes less than five minutes to grocery shop.

Pam BH

Thank you,Lady Texan, for starting this thread. These tips are priceless for someone like me new to this journey. Who knew what shaving cream would do?! One thing I learned is to take and release deep breaths several times a day to help stress. The release part I was forgetting to do.

LadyTexan

Pam BH wrote:

One thing I learned is to take and release deep breaths several times a day to help stress. The release part I was forgetting to do.

Lady Texan response:

Oh! I have forgotten the release part too. It is amazing what deep breathing can do.

Another thing that is working in our home right now is instant oatmeal for breakfast. Interestingly, not long ago, DH was protesting oatmeal, calling it mush and refusing it. For now it is back in the rotation. Thank goodness because it is very easy. I am dressing it up a little with cinnamon. So far so good.

LadyTexan

I've put in play more tips that I have learned from you, and they are working for us right now.

1. Music, music, music. As I mentioned in another post I was blessed with joyful moments this weekend when DH danced with me. We were playing festive music with a strong beat. 
2. Teepa Snow videos. I watch the free ones available on-line. The videos are hugely helpful to me.
3. Deep breathing. It is simple and free and it helps me so much.

Best wishes to all for a better day today.

Doityourselfer

At this severe stage of my husband's Alzheimers, things that make it easier to take care of him are:  

    plastic mat under his chair at the table to make cleaning up easier, 

    plastic cups and plastic plates for him,

    air fryer makes it quick and easy for me to cook his finger foods

    twin bed for him makes it much easier for me to take care of the bedding

     any type of food that he can eat with his hands

 There is nothing simple about being a caregiver for my husband.  It's a 
 nightmare and the worst job ever in my opinion.    

Lorita

Morning -

 All of the above tips are great and so helpful.  You'll learn more as you get further along in your caregiving.  But, I think the most important tip is - Enjoy and cherish each happy moment you have with your mate.  There will be plenty of those times so enjoy.  You'll be much happier that you did.

Beachfan

LadyTexan wrote: 

1. Music, music, music. As I mentioned in another post I was blessed with joyful moments this weekend when DH danced with me. We were playing festive music with a strong beat. 

Sadly, there is no dancing going on, but I keep music playing most of the day.  Either “Easy Listening” or “Soundscapes” on the music channels from Comcast are the favorites.  DH will sit quietly all morning on the sofa while I get things done or run short errands.  Sometimes, the 6 year old granddaughter will visit and “lax” with pop on the sofa.  The grands call it Spa music.

David J

Great thread!  For me, stress is the hardest thing to control. High stress leads to frustration leads to anger leads to a bad day for both of us. One thing I do is get up early before DW and have a few quiet hours to myself with coffee, reading, this forum, and anything relaxing and quiet. The dog has decided to join me in this quiet time, and she gets some love for a reward. I also do a Mindfulness Minute every morning.