New Symptom? Never seen it before

Ginsamae

MIL has been stating for a couple of weeks now that she wanted to go 'take care' of her older sister in another state. At first she said she needed to go because "Alma" was having back surgery and needed help afterward, then MIL started saying that Alma was going to go in a nursing home and she wanted to spend 2 weeks with her before she went into the home. DH said that he would call Alma and talk with her. I offered to do this since DH is completely swamped at work - and I like Alma, though she is 90 she is completely competent mentally. 

Alma told me that she is neither having surgery, nor is she going into a nursing home. She said that she told MIL that 'it would be nice to visit with you' it was NOT an invitation to come immediately and that Alma knows MIL has dementia and was concerned about MIL coming by herself. I told Alma that if MIL does come to visit she would not be unaccompanied so Alma agreed that we would work out a convenient time that DH (or another caregiver) would come with MIL.

As I was getting ready for work yesterday I heard MIL moving about. When I stepped out of my bedroom I saw that MIL had a large suitcase, zipped up and by her bedroom door. She had on shoes, her 'traveling' jacket and her purse. I asked if she was going somewhere and she said (very cheerfully), "DH is driving me to Alma's house today," to which I responded, "no, DH has just left for work."  I immediately called DH and he turned around and came home and talked with his mother, who then texted her sister and said "I know you never invited me." which wasn't what DH told her. 

Last night, DH and I needed to go out. DH told MIL that we would be back in about 3 hours (we had to take my mother someplace). While we were gone, our daughter said that MIL came downstairs with her shoes on, her traveling jacket and her purse and thought that she was going with us. 

Is this a new symptom; could MIL be getting ready to head into a phase of trying to escape?  I know that she's been escalating her accusations of me increasing her rent and our daughter stealing from her and we've heard her talking about "Sib #3 and spouse didn't do this" and "(Me) thinks I'm lying." I'm worried that she is becoming paranoid about me and our daughter and she might leave without our knowledge because she feels we are being mean to her. We have made arrangements for MIL to go live with Sib #1 starting sometime in late June (date has not yet been set) but I'm wondering if sooner might be better.

Teresag56

I know this is hard. Everyday is something new. I care for my mom by myself. She has started doing something like this. She gets up every morning and opens the front door to go sit on the swing on the screened in porch but a couple of times I have caught her walking down the sidewalk. The funny thing about this is during the day or when we are going out if the front door is shut and locked she has no idea how to open it....not sure what us up with that. Good luck with your mil....

Norma W

We've been dealing with that behavior for about six months.  LO asks about dead family members and will also talk about going to work.  She retired 20 years ago but gets agitated when we tell her that.  She mentions frequently that she can't find her keys and doesn't know where her car is.  She hasn't driven in 18 months and we sold her car.

We used to leave the front door unlocked so she could tend to her plants and enjoy the screened in porch.  She started wandering off so that stopped.  We lock all outside doors and windows.  It's like a fortress at our house.

Not sure if you're having this problem: we have to lock our bedroom door now because items were disappearing, toothbrushes, jewelry, etc.  She hides things and then gets upset if I ask her where she put said items.

Good luck, it's all a learning experience for sure.