Perplexed

Davegrant

We are in year four of this dementia and I remain confused about the changes in DW behavior. The original diagnosis was MCI of the Alzheimer's type. It was done by a PP and a psychologist. This is about as much dx we are going to get for one , my DW doesn't feel that there is any problem.  

I too have taken over many of the duties like cooking, shopping, decision making but my DW does the dishes and the laundry. This month I had hip surgery and DW helps me put on those long surgical socks, gets me things and picks up things when I can't bend over. I am grateful for her help. I see that she appears to like the busyness,  I was doing everything but I now encourage her to stay busy. The suspicion, questions, lost items, sun downing are still present but she is moving and I believe she feels more useful. I am wondering what is happening. Does anyone have a similar experience? 

Dave

ButterflyWings

Hi Davegrant,

It sounds like the natural progression of Alzheimer's dementia. 

My husband initially was in the MCI (Mild Cognitive Impairment) stage when we began searching for answers to his increasing memory and ultimately judgement + personality changes. He then progressed to increasingly more obvious stages of brain disease and loss, and is now showing several signs of Stage 6 (of 7). Each stage can last many years.

1. Here is one link to an infographic summarizing the stages from moderate to severe decline. Infographic for Alzheimer's Stages - Kindly Care

2. Have you read this article? I found it super helpful to describe what might be ahead with some of the behaviors that come with the territory for our LOs with dementia, like the suspicion, etc you are describing. This article gives really good explanations for how to understand better and empathize.  http://www.dementiacarestrategies.com/12_pt_Understanding_the_Dementia_Experience.pdf

3. Here is another more detailed explanation of the stages and what to expect generally. https://alzheimersdisease.net/reisbergs-stages I was searching for the TamCummings stages which some rely on, but didn't find it yet. 

4. And, like your DW, my DH does not think there is a problem. I learned that his brain is deteriorating and one loss is "insight" to process what he could before his disease. He literally has no awareness that he is ill. He never will. It is called anosognosia. Maybe your wife has that too. I'm the one who had to adjust. 6 Ways to Help Someone Who Doesn’t Know They’re Ill: Anosognosia in Dementia – DailyCaring

Good luck to you. Others will come along with additional information, and you can search the "solutions" tab at the top of this forum for more info too.

Davegrant

Thanks so much for your comments

Poulsbo

My DH believes there are four of me.  

DH is convinced there is a group of us living in our house.  Do any of you have a partner/spouse/LO who suffers from "imposter syndrome,"  Capgras Syndrome?

I am new to the world of dementia/Alzheimer's.  I don't even know if what my DH has is dementia or Alzheimer's.  What I do know is that my DH began losing mathematical, verbal, and problem-solving skills (he is a civil engineer) about three years ago.  About a year ago, he had to stop driving because he was incapable of making split second decisions.  He stopped at green lights, turned left from the far right lane, stopped when autos traveling in the opposite direction stopped even though cars were moving going in his direction.  He refused to see a doctor until two weeks ago.

My DH saw a neurologist last week and the neurologist referred him to another neurologist with a specialty in psychology.  The neurologist prescribed a brain MRI, lab work, and occupational therapy.  Meanwhile, my DH does not know which woman (wife imposters)  is his wife of fifty-five years. Of course, the only people in our house are my DH and me.  No other person even comes to our home to visit.  We just moved here from another state last October and we have met  no one because of Covid-19. 

Have any of you ever cared for someone with the imposter syndrome?  If so, what was the eventual diagnosis, treatment, and prognosis?

Rescue mom

Paulsbo—I see you are new, and sorry you have to be here. The club nobody wants to join.

First, some housekeeping....it’s fine you posted here, but if you create your own thread, for your own question (you’ll see the box at top of thread on right) you will get more answers to your specific question.

As to your questions.... Alzheimer’s is one of several dementias. It’s like apples (Alzheimer’s) are a kind of fruit (dementia).

 Not recognizing a spouse, or thinking there is more of you, what you call imposter syndrome, is a very common symptom. Others include inability to handle numbers and finances. Hopefullly you have control f finances. Thankfully, (this is huge) his driving has stopped. 

There is no cure. Some meds, for some people, may slow the behaviors. A brain scan can help, in showing that some of his brain is gone and no longer functioning—which you already know and have seen, the scans just offer visual confirmation. 

This is a huge subject. Right now, I strongly advise that you Google and read a piece called “understanding the dementia experience” by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller. It’s free, and onnine, about 25 pages long. 

Keep watching and reading this forum. I found more practical advice and help here than anywhere. Doctors just say there’s nothing we can do, you have to deal with the behaviors however you can. But here you can find help with that.

Ed1937

https://tamcummings.com/stages-of-dementia/  

anneleigh

Dave, Butterfly gave some good suggestions and links.  It is better to be prepared and learn as much as possible so you know what may lie ahead.  Of course each person is different and may stay in one stage longer.  Your timeframe struck me as my DH was diagnosed with MCI in March of 2017, and he has declined to I think stage 6.  In 4 years I think it is a big decline.  He was diagnosed at 63 which is youngonset, which could be why declining faster.

Blessings to everyone and have a good night~

towhee

Almost everyone likes having a sense of purpose, having feelings of accomplishment. People with dementia are no different. The important thing is to match their tasks with their capability so they don't get frustrated with a task they can no longer do. You might check out a book called Creating Moments of Joy, but don't let it intimidate you, no one can keep their loved one happy all of the time.

Hope your recovery continues to go well.

ElaineD

Dear Dave,

For some reason my DH seems 'happy' taking care of me and the household chores that I can no longer do.   Like you, I think that my DH is glad to be busy, to have a purpose.

My DH is in a much earlier stage in his dementia journey than is your wife.  But he is calmer and more considerate of my needs than he has ever been in our 59 years of marriage!

I know this won't last, but right now I have relief from his anger and criticisms.  And he takes care of everything his way, of course, but I have to accept that!

Elaine 

Bunny314

Hi guys. my name is Paul and my wife has has subcortical vascular dementia for quite a few years.  She is currently in a Nursing facility and because of Covid it was not the right place for her IE.  not set up or staffed for memory care.   Is this the right forum to start out in?  Just trying to keep it together and take care of her .  Thanks.

Davegrant

Bunny 314

You asked if this is the right forum and I honestly don't know if there are other more appropriate forums. For me, I personally find this forum most relative to my situations. As I read posts and the responses I find that there is a wealth of information that relates to my situation. When I am totally confused/upset I call the alz hot line and talk to a person there. So far, this has met my needs. The biggest problem is asking a question that may seem stupid or inappropriate. But when I get past that fear I am rewarded with good suggestions and references to other resources.