What legal documents are needed

Pam BH

A couple of weeks ago someone mentioned in the middle of a thread that you need 5 legal documents.  I have 3 (DPOA, will, living will) and wondering what the other 2 are. Getting ready to have the talk about getting affairs in order with DH and need to be specific with him because of his paranoia.  Can anyone recall what the docs are?

jfkoc

Trust

banpaeng

Please don't listen to anyone on here including me.

Go see an Elder Care Attorney.  The best Money you can spend.

Bill_2001

Reposted from my earlier thread Some Helpful Tips for Caregivers.

Contact a Certified Elder Law attorney, and get all of your documents in place. Specifically, Durable Power of Attorney, Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care, Living Will, HIPPA Authorization, and Last Will and Testament. Get them done for your dear spouse and for yourself, so 10 documents total. Get them done right now. Pick up the phone and make the appointment. The hardest part about this is starting it, and deciding who will be your power of attorney, but now is the time. This is the most important thing you can do.

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Crushed

Just to help on "ownership" With a trust you split the "legal ownership" from the "beneficial ownership"   
The trustee becomes the legal owner.  

 I am the Trustee of our family trust but my wife is an equal beneficiary.  So I  manage all assets not as an agent under a POA abut as the "legal owner"   It's  functionally the same as being a guardian. Only Assets not in the trust are IRA, since that is controlled by law.

I have found trusts to be incredibly useful in split and blended families.  E.g. You cannot remove a trustee as easily as canceling a POA  so it stops some of the real nonsense. Banks deal with the Trustee as a principal.  And there is no "you have to use our form " nonsense

Our trust includes every interest DW had in personal property right down to wedding rings   The trust is the heir to the IRAs.  Lots of other advantages.

Pam BH

Thanks, everyone.  Prior to seeing a certified elder law attorney, my daughter and I are having a financial discussion with DH this weekend.  Your info is a real plus for when we have the talk knowing ahead of time what we'll need to bring up and the fiblets on why we need them since he not only has anosognosia but also has the delusion I'm having an affair and preparing to leave him, so any mention of an attorney would send him into a not so good emotional state.

JJAz

In some states you need a Mental Health Power of Attorney in addition to a Health Care Power of Attorney.

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Crushed

You said you have a DPOA
Is it currently valid and active or is it conditional on an event? 

Makes all the difference in the world.  

If you do why have the financial discussion?
  
What you need is a financial structure where his illness cannot disrupt your mutual financial well being.  

 
 

Pam BH

Thanks, Crushed and Victoria.  You're right on target.  The DPOA is not for a specific event, so we should be good there.  What a relief!

Caring4two

One thing many don’t know about is a DPOA will not help you if you need to deal with your loved one’s social security. The SSA does not honor POAs. You need to become their REPRESENTATIVE PAYEE. It’s not a hard process. You fill out at application (you can get from SSA website). Then the SSA office will notify you if you are accepted. Then you open an account with your loved one’s name and your name as rep payee. This account is where the money will be deposited each month.  As rep payee you can manage/make changes and speak to a SS representative on behalf of your loved one. They do not want you to “co-mingle” funds. 

I had to do this for my disabled son and for my husband when he could no longer manage his financial affairs. If I need to electronically transfer SS funds to another account, household acct for instance to pay bills, I did that AFTER it was initially deposited in the SS rep payee account. Many people are caught off guard about this and think their DPOA will cover it but it doesn’t. 

Pam BH

THanks, Caring4two. Wow, your screen name says so much and I applaud you. This is one time I'm glad he's not on Social Security. His retirement is federal, through OPM.  Hopefully no problems there

Crushed

Pam BH wrote:

THanks, Caring4two. Wow, your screen name says so much and I applaud you. This is one time I'm glad he's not on Social Security. His retirement is federal, through OPM.  Hopefully no problems there

My wife is federal OPM does nor recognize POA either they have their own representative payee program.

https://www.opm.gov/forms/pdf_fill/ri20-7.pdf

Caring4two

Just to clarify, I am my son’s rep payee for Soc Sec. I was my husband’s rep payee for OPM as he was a federal employee. He passed in June of 2017, (been almost 4 years now). I’m not very good at this “widow” stuff but I get up everyday and put one foot in front of the other and try to find some joy in the day. My husband would want that. He would not want me to be sad all the time. I’m trying for him.

Pam BH

Thank you - much needed info.