Fixated on Visiting mother

adrscheuerman

My mother has late stage EOAD, and for the last 3 days, she is convinced that her mother lives down the street from her and she MUST bring her mother some trinkets she found in her belongings. (Her mother lives about 12 hours away).  

We have tried telling her that we can 'visit her mother soon' or mail the items to her. This just makes her throw a tantrum about being old enough to walk down the street to this phantom location on her own because she is not a child.  

We have tried taking the trinkets away so she doesn't think about them anymore. This resulted in her tearing apart the house looking for them because 'someone stole her stuff'. 

We have tried calling her mom and having them talk. Phone calls-even video calls- are not very successful as my mother is unable to understand talking to someone when they aren't in the room with her. 

Redirection has helped a little, but usually only lasts at most an hour before she is back to needing to see her mom and give her these things.  

Her companion gave up trying to deal with the tantrums and asked for my sister to come home from work. 

Any suggestions about what to do? 

terei

Have you tried having her mother tell her on the phone that she is not home, on a trip?  Or have her say she sold that house + moved to (whatever state)

Or, you telling her that she moved or is visiting someone in whatever state.

Have you tried taking a walk with her to see where she actually goes?  

abc123

Dear adr, Hello and welcome! I’m sorry your Mom has EO. Hopefully others will come along with some helpful suggestions. There are many wise and caring people here with years of experience. I wish you well.

sunnydove

What about having her mother write a letter saying she left those trinkets there for her because they are so special? Then you can refer to the letter whenever she feels the need. Depending on their relationship it might be a good idea to have some praise in there for her so she likes reading it. Just a thought.