update on my mother after hip fracture

vtgsell · May 2021

I posted several weeks ago after my mother, who was roughly stage 4 then, broke her hip. I received a lot of helpful and supportive advice that I appreciated greatly.

She had a very tough time in rehab, not physically, but emotionally. Due to COVID, I could not visit and she was never able to understand where she was or why. The facility was wonderful, and she left it able to walk everywhere she needed to go, but her dementia was extremely progressed.

I brought her home to my house for about 8 weeks. I hired a care giver to be with her for 8 hours a day at her own house while I worked and so that my kids had thier house to themselves for some amount of the day.

My mother improved dramatically during the time she was with me. She regained continence and a continuing understanding that she was in a familiar safe place. She mostly understood whether she was in my house or hers, but she was always secure knowing she was somewhere familiar. I'd say she is more a stage 5 now, though. She can physically get dressed, but if I'm not there she forgets what she is doing or gets caught in this loop of thinking the clothes she just put on and dirty and changing them again and again.

This past weekend, I moved her to an assisted living/memory care facility. She is doing quite well. Her room is full of her own things, and she seems to always feel comfortable and at home. She calls it her home although its pretty clear she doesnt understand where she is and thinks its in one of several different states she has lived in over the years. This is okay though, because she thinks she is at home and is comfortable there.

I wanted to thank you all for the advice you gave me and for the continuous advice I read every day here. It helps so much to not feel alone and to be able to learn from others who have been down this road.

Cynbar · May 2021

I'm so glad it has all worked out well overall! I remember your posts, and how you were struggling to do the best for both her and your kids. Unfortunately, it does seem like a traumatic event like a hip fracture often accelerates dementia. It's good that she had a chance to go for in patient rehab, that make such a difference in regaining mobility, and it's likely the dementia would have progressed wherever she was.. Congratulations on helping her navigate several big changes in her life.