New to all of this(3)

Hannah Mariah

Hello,

My father who is 80 was diagnosed with Alzheimers. My mother is 82 and is having to learn how to do everything he used to do and adjust to a new way of living. I can see that she has no idea how to find support and resources so I am stepping in to try to learn and guide her along, but I don't even know where to start myself! I appreciate any advice as I enter into this.

Thank you so very much : )

May flowers

When my FIL was first diagnosed, my MIL was at such a loss, because he did so much and she was overwhelmed with it all.

We got financial POA early, so we could help with the financial end, got all the bills set up to pay online and took care of taxes and such. My FIL knew and trusted his financial advisor at the time and he was the one that got that set up. Eventually all the bills just came to our address or online. They were close enough that we could take care of maintenance, house cleaning and yard work, but hiring folks for that could help. We took charge of doctor’s appointments for him and managed his meds.

I think it’s a lot for the caregiver to focus on a loved one’s care so anything practical that can be farmed out might lighten the load.

We tried to help them simplify things for him earlier on - they had so much stuff and in so many different rooms, it was overwhelming. He was constantly trying to find things and it was very upsetting for him. My MIL passed away a few years after his dx, and he eventually moved in with us around stage 4-5. We set it up so he had fewer things to choose from (socks all same color, etc) and a very plain, uncluttered room. We labeled his drawers to help with confusion. We had pegs on the wall for his hat and a few shirts hanging to choose from. His bathroom had each item laid out side by side - toothbrush, shaver, towel, etc. This seemed easier for him than looking through a closet or drawers for things. We also kept to a daily routine and that was also very helpful.

That’s what worked for us, anyway. The book I found to be a great resource was “The 36-Hour Day” https://www.amazon.com/36-Hour-Day-Alzheimer-Disease-Dementias/dp/1455521159 but there are a lot of good resources that others will suggest as well.

Hannah Mariah

Wow, this is very helpful. I thank you so much for taking the time to write this. It makes so much sense.

Best,

Hannah