Need help- mom is struggling with time

JayEl

My mom Is in a memory care facility. She also has macular degeneration and is basically blind. In addition, she uses hearing aids and is profoundly deaf without them. Lately she is struggling with time. What time is it now? What time do I go to dinner? She also has (I think) anxiety, so when I tell her the staff will come  Get her for dinner, she doesn’t trust it. She called me 8 times today worrying about the time. She has two dementia-approved clocks that say the day, time, afternoon/evening, etc, but she doesn’t know what it means. The only solution I can think of (aside from just trusting the staff) is for me to call her every single day at 430. I can do it, but it’s not always convenient. I have a customer facing job, I can’t always break away. Any advice you can give on how to help with time would be greatly appreciated!!!

star26

Maybe a talking clock? If she is able to call you on her own she may be able to find and push the button on the clock? I think they make talking watches too. If she's alone in her room most days, maybe she would be better outside of her room around others or with staff in sight? I hope the staff is diligent about putting her hearing aids in every morning and making sure they have fresh batteries. Hearing and visual impairments plus dementia definitely sound like a recipe for extra anxiety. She may not remember this from day to day, but maybe some extra assurances from you (fibs) such as "I call the staff every day to make sure they brought you for dinner" or "Your dinner has your name on it so they can never forget you." Maybe none of this will work. I had to stop telling my Dad about any appointments or plans in advance because he would worry so much about missing them. But then the anxiety cropped up with other stuff.

Sjodry

Jay,

I have an Alexa Show 8 video device in my mom’s room. I can drop in on her at any time I want to and either just take a quick look or have a video face-to-face conversation. My mom does not even have to know how to answer it. To make things simple and (to not make Alexa talk by saying her name), we call the device her “music box” as I play music for her every day.

Maybe that would be a solution. You can set alarms with Alexas..but my mom (and maybe yours) wouldn’t even have a clue of what the alarm is or worse..how to make it stop. But you could certainly tell her that you would be happy to pop in with reminders and visits.

Just a thought.

Good luck!

Sandy

JayEl

Thanks- I could try Alexa. I do worry that it will speak and she’ll get scared. She is able to use Siri- she just tells it “FaceTime jen” and we’re connected. I thought of setting her phone alarm for 430, but as you say, she won’t be able to turn it off. Alexa is worth a thought, tho. I do like your idea of telling her I speak to the staff every day, etc. Thanks so much!