At Home Caregiver for Spouse

Pam Roos

     I've never been on this site before, and I hope that I can get some support.  My problem right now is that DH is forgetting what somebody has told him on daily basis.  His Dr., Nurse,  friends, and family.   I'm being very patience and if he forgets something, I'm just saying it again, as if he didn't hear me.  If he forgets something that is not important, I'm not correcting him either at all, unless it is important such as Dr. Appointments, Not to Drive, Blood Tests,  and the only time I ask if he took his meds. is I check the container.   But I don't drive, so my wonderful  son whom lives 1 hour away, comes to take us to Dr. Appt.  etc...   My loving son doesn't want us to take taxis, or public transportation because of the covid  virus.                            His Dr. have not given him any diagnosis of anything, but they are aware he is forgetting things.  My husband when a Dr. calls him, DH talks for 15 minutes, and not always answers the question the Dr. asks to begin with. 

So if anyone is in the same boat, I hope to hear from you.

Pam

Lane Simonian

Welcome here, but sorry about the circumstances.

The repeating of questions may be a sign of dementia.

I hope that you will get some more responses soon.

Rescue mom

I am sorry you have to be here, and for what you are dealing with. I’m not sure what you’re asking, but this kind of forgetting is extremely common and typical of Alzheimer’s or other dementias. You are right, in that many things are not worth arguing about. And criticism of his memory, or telling him he should remember, won’t help. That ability is gone.

 It “just” takes a lot of patience....my DH with Alzheimer’s was like that, and it got worse. You may need to see a doctors in person—seems like most COVID restrictions are over—and tell the doctor in advance, maybe with a written note, about your concerns. 

PCPs may refer you to a neurologist or memory clinic for further tests or checks. PCPs are rarely equipped to handle such issues. No insult to them, they can only do so much and it seems like, from what’s been said  here, they don’t do Alzheimer’s very well.

You will probably get more input in a couple days, weekends can be slow here.

Donr

Your post is asking for advice on at home caregiver for your spouse. Is that your primary goal?

Joe C.

Pam, I would suggest asking your husbands Dr. for a referral to a neurologist and see if you can get some testing and a formal diagnosis. There are conditions besides dementia that can cause confusion and memory issues, some of these conditions are treatable. The neurologist will try to rule out other possible issues before making a diagnosis of some form of dementia.