Recent cognitive losses

Quilting brings calm

Mom couldn’t remember her social security number today. She also didn’t recognize it when I found a card in her purse that had it written on it.  This is new.  She has never not been able to recite it when asked. 

She’s been calling me and asking for permission to do things, such as to go out to eat with my dad. I feel like a mom of a  12 year old most days. 

She called me tonight and asked me why her feet were swollen.  As if I am psychic.   I have no idea, but I told her to put them on a pillow, drink some water,  and to take some ibuprofen, etc. She goes back to the foot doctor tomorrow for her two week checkup after toenail removal.  She’s already been back once for  antibiotics. A zpack, so I don’t think it’s infected now.  She didn’t mention her feet when I was there earlier. She did ask me today if she was losing her mind. I redirected. 

The last two times I’ve been at the assisted living center facility ( Friday and today), she has come out of the bedroom wearing her shirt, her Depends, no pants, pushing her walker.  It makes me so sad.  It’s not that she doesn’t know she’s not wearing pants, and she still knows how to dress herself - she just doesn’t want to wear them. Dad says it’s a common thing for her to do.  

I had to take my dad to the doctor today for his post hospital follow up.  I wanted to take her too after noticing some things on phone calls this weekend, but couldn’t get her a same  day  appointment.  Doctor has been out of the office and is backed up for the next two weeks.  So Dad has to go back again in two weeks and I made her an appointment that same day too. I want the doctor to see the changes in her since the last time he saw her.  Maybe tweak her mood medication and tell me if he thinks she is in stage 5 now. 

As you all know, I’ve reached the stage where I don’t know if I am taking care of  the two  of appropriately ( properly, adequately, etc)  .... and they are in assisted living, for goodness sakes.  Hoping the doctor can see what’s going on and get me someone to talk to about plan b before the future becomes now.  

What behaviors told you that your loved one has moved from mild to moderate dementia? 

LaurenB

For me the mild stages included not knowing the names of infrequently used items and commenting casually how much her town has "changed" over the years (it hasn't).  Now in hte moderate stages she repeats herself all day long, doesn't recognize our faces at first and thinks that we look older than we should.  I'm guessing that she has regressed about 20 years.  She doesn't always recognize her current husband of 20 years.  Recently she told him in the middle of the night that he needed to leave before the kids (my brother and myself currently in our 40's) came home.  She almost always knows who I am, but when she doesn't, I'm her sister.

MaryMurphy

This may or may not be the right place to post my questions and concerns. I just joined the forum and plan to read archives. I am an employee in a personal home of an 80yo widow of significant wealth and status in our community. I joined the staff having retired from Special Education including being an educational diagnostician. 

Last fall, a few red flags went up after my boss returned from vacationing in a summer home. I work in the winter home so it was a significant transition. I noticed changes in her hygiene and "pacing" around the house throwing away irreplaceable family photo albums etc. I noticed she mixed up my name with another employee. 

I had been doing all her food shopping for months during Covid and had figured out all the personal preferences- one morning she put the shopping list on my desk and I asked which store she wanted me to go to for some items and she had a distant expression and she said " we pay people to do that" when I had been the only person food shopping during Covid but in past years other staff did the shopping.  

Essentially I started to notice significant deficits in her reasoning, processing complex information and mood changes that seemed out of character. 

Instead of arguing or trying to reason with her when she was putting unreasonable demands on my desk, I changed after a few months and just diverted, simplified and started to accomodate her as if she was a student regardless of the diagnosis.  

Right now my other co-workers are struggling with her being "nasty" and "condescending" both out of character faced with complex issues surrounding returning to her home next week- a big transition. 

The common complaint is that she is off the rails nasty/ angry and others report she is confused often and has some memory lapses. 

Today is the first time my supervisor and I had an open conversation about it. Because of my bosses stature in the community, previously I was asked to never discuss or gossip about her even if I thought she was acting weird. 

No family member has said the word dementia but they have all called my supervisor to ask her to reach out to a family doctor because they are concerned about their mother. 

I guess my reaching out is to say how long does this stage last where the cognitive reasoning processing changes become more obvious but family and friends still look for excuses.  

Are there any signs that become so obvious- in the early stages or does an actual diagnosis have to wait until they fail standardized tests? 

I don't see much about diagnosing these very early stages- I read more about the actual diagnosis coming at a later stage.  I can't diagnose her but I can observe age related cognitive changes that remind me of my two Aunts and grandmother who I loved and supported through their journey with dignosed dementia. 

Thanks all

Quilting brings calm

Mary - to add your own question, concern or just to vent: Go to the top of the caregivers forum.  Click on the green button that says ‘add topic’.  That will give you a place to add a subject line  and then a blank area to type your detail.  That way people can tell that you’re asked something and see it rather than it be buried as a reply to a question they have already looked at.  I think you can copy your detail above and then paste it into the new topic rather than type it all again.

GothicGremlin

 What behaviors told you that your loved one has moved from mild to moderate dementia?

Certainly the asking for permission - she does this all the time now.  It just makes me sad. 

Today I had to take her to the doctor and she couldn't remember her birth date.

Other stuff - as she's moved from stage 5 to stage 6

 - the word salad, omg.  There are times when I have absolutely no clue what she's talking about. Today it was the groups of sheets.

 - incontinence

 - getting up in the night

 - starting to be unable to feed her cats (she can't remember how). I actually thought being able to take care of them would stay with her since we've both had cats since since we were little kids.

 - her balance has gotten really bad

There are several other things but these are the biggies.

  

MariaMcD

For my mom it was halucinations. She is having them daily and is now never sure if what she is seeing or hearing is real.