New to full time caregiving(1)

Chipperj

Hi all,

My name is Chip. I'm caregiver for my mother, Ferol, who is 93 and one of the kindest people I know. She has been there for me my whole life, 65 now, and I intend to be there for her and if at all possible to keep her in her home.

Mom was recently diagnosed with moderate brain atrophy with fluid pressure on the brain. Although she had been experiencing the natural aging process with accompanying memory loss, she had been able to get around the house, cook, bathe, all the ADLs. Then there was a sudden downturn and she is now unable to stand without help and her short term memory is very bad now.

My mother requires someone with her most of the time now. I am the sole caregiver with some help from family members but not much.

I am in need of support and referrals to resources. This seems like a good place to go for both. I am glad to be here and welcome any advice.

Chip

LaurenB

Welcome to the group Chipperj!  There are lots of good resources on this discussion board.  Also take a look at the "Local Resources" page.  There are good support groups to contact and lists of services that ALZ.org can guide you toward.  Lastly, there are tons of subjects that you can look up to find out information about dementia and caregiving.

Lauren

terei

With the recent precipitous decline in your mother’s condition, I would contact a hospice organization + have her assessed for hospice help.

You would get visiting aides, equipment(such as a hospital bed) supplies + support that is taken care of by Medicare.

I’m not sure why, but so many people do not get the invaluable help from hospice when their LO qualifies until way too late in the disease.

Dussing

I'd definitely give the 800 number a call and chat with an expert on options for home care.  Depending on your finances there are people who can assist you with helping her (and you).  

Talk with her Dr about hospice, don't wait for that as they can help you immensely.

I got a SafeWander alarm for my Mum for night time and it has been great getting me to assist my mother when she gets up at night.  Look into that to see if it's appropriate.

Good luck!

syrac818

Hi Chip -

Thank you for being there for your mom.

Given her age and the basic details of her decline, this sounds like a possible stroke, right?  I mean, this is abrupt.  Alzheimer's, and at least in my mother's case is a long, slow, painful decline.  This sounds different.

Has she seen any sort of neurologist since this event?  I realize a comment like that is way more easily said than done, but is that possible?  I agree with the other regarding hospice

TessC

Sorry you must be here, Chip. Your mother sounds so kind, like my mother was. I know you want to do what is best for her. I could not place my mother into a facility even though she forgot who I was and could no longer talk. None in my area was good enough for her or me. I wanted to be in control of her well being and insure she always felt safe and loved. So I moved her in with me and my husband and hire aides so I could get respite.

 I used my mother's money to hire aides. I got them from Care.com, a few from senior help agencies, some were referrals. All were wonderful because I never accepted less than the best. I fired one lady almost immediately because I knew I could not train someone to be gentle, patient, or kind. Those had to be traits of anyone I hired. It might sound like I hired a lot of people but mother lived with me for 15 years. 5 of those years she was totally dependent on others for her ADL's and was in a wheelchair, and the last 2 years she was bed bound.When our LOs get to that last stage, it takes a lot of people to tag team and give round the clock care.

I also had hospice for 3 years. They were a great help. Call them for a consult. I didn't even need a doctor's referral. They'll come and check your mother and decide if she is eligible. Do check out several as not all hospices are well run.  I even called a couple of nursing homes in town and asked which hospice they liked the best. If you find they don't work out like they said they would, you can hire another one in a few months. Never settle for less than the best for your mother.

Has your mother been checked for a UTI? That can cause a steep decline. I had to use a urine hat to collect samples on occasion to check my mother for UTI's. Your mother's doctor can give you one and the sample bottle to put urine in for testing.

We are connected now so you can email me anytime with any question. Good luck and I hope your mother condition gets better.

Marta

Is any intervention planned to relieve the pressure on the brain from the excessive cerebrospinal fluid?