finding a place for LO

ptkim_alz

Hello,

My husband is 35 years older than I am. and he's got stage 6 AD. After the diagnosis of stage 5 2.6 years ago, I quit my job, and I have been taking care of him 24/7. I am still young and thought I was managing our situation pretty well. Mostly, I have been in denial for some time, I guess. A few months ago, our close friends had a discussion for an intervention. Knowing there is no real right time to make the transition in to a MC unit, I finally accepted the fact that he needs better care than I can provide, and I am no good if I burn out.

How do I find a place for your LO? 

Cost is a big factor, but also, is there a reputable ratings that I can refer to? or just word of mouth, and referrals?

I have been looking for a few months, and now reaching to a point of brain saturation. All the information is hidden behind a private tour, saying every LO's needs are different.

Any advice?

Joe C.

I would suggest touring a few of the MC facilities in you area to get a sense of what you like and dislike in the various facilities. Following is a good thread on things you might consider and questions to ask.

 https://www.alzconnected.org/discussion.aspx?g=posts&t=2147552810

star26

I always read all the state/federal regular inspection reports, complaints, and investigations. In the states I've needed to research, these reports have been available online. Nursing facilities will be on the Medicare site and AL, MC and group homes will be on the state government website. Staff training (ask for specifics), staffing ratios, and staff turnover can also be enlightening if you can get this info. On a tour, I look at the residents, the staff/resident interactions, and the interactions between staff members. If you're lucky, you'll run into some family and can maybe chat them up in the parking lot. As long as the place is clean, I try not to put too much weight on the decor or how new it is etc. I don't know if this holds up from state to state, but I've found that non-profits, such as some religious affiliated places, have had really good care.

Ed1937

Welcome to the forum. Sorry you are dealing with this now.  Please follow the link Jo gave you. It will give you just about everything you should consider.

aod326

I know that feeling of brain saturation. Once you've read the thread Joe posted, maybe there will be a couple of places you've seen online that rise to the top of the list. I suggest you pick 3 or 4 places to investigate thoroughly, using the suggestions on the thread. Then pick one. (Unless they are totally unsuitable of course.) Otherwise you can have analysis paralysis forever.

Bear in mind that the selection doesn't have to be permanent. I moved DH to a different MC after six weeks - others have moved their LO too.

Finally, how great that your friends care so much that they staged an intervention - they're keepers!

Very best of luck along this sad journey.

John1965

My brother asked several times, "what can I do to help?" Finally, I told him that I don't have the emotional space (DW would be crushed) to research placement options. So he and his wife have been researching and touring every facility in our metropolitan area. It's been good for all involved, as he's been made more aware of the disease and what DW and I are going through. And good for me because I'm getting a pared down list with detailed observations. DW may be a year away from placement, or 10 years (she's only 56, but diagnosed 6 years ago). Do you have a trusted family member or friend who would be willing to do similar research?

Based on what I've read on this site, I steered my brother away from using "A Place for Mom" since its appears to have a reputation for being overly aggressive in its follow-ups and how it bills finder's fees. 

Sorry you have to deal with this!

Pinkscarf

Once you finally decide on your top two places, then check the state records thoroughly. You may have to do Freedom of Information Act requests depending on the state. Here's why: My DH (moderate stage and in his 60s, physically fit) was in a very high-end facility for six months when one day he walked out the front door to "go for a run." Nobody noticed he was gone and it was a miracle he was found -- by a worker on her way in for her shift who happened to see him on the side of the road, lost and confused. I immediately filed a complaint with the state (and moved him out). The state investigated within two weeks. I wanted to make absolutely sure that anyone doing research into that facility knew what happened that day, because you know it's not going to be in their glossy brochures. I wish you well.

LadyTexan

I did not think that I would be in this position at this time. 

Since Friday, when my DH was admitted to the psych hospital, I have reached out to social workers and dementia specialists to focus my strategy. I am researching places online, including reviewing inspection reports. I plan to do some tours on Monday. 

I am so grateful for this forum. I learn more on this one website, than anywhere else. It has been a lifesaver.

I wish you all well in your search.

ptkim_alz

Thank you for all of your replies. I will start with Joe's link first and then go from there.

Hopefully we can find a good place for him close by.

Ernie123

I can only speak from my experience and the home my DW has been in for a year and a half. It is a new facility and the memory care unit designed carefully. There are two units of seven bedrooms, each has a large living dining area. There is a connector door so there is some commingling for activities. The atmosphere is very homelike, not institutional. It is on the ground floor and the units have access a large fenced garden area. The staff are all trained in dementia care. There are at least two staff 24/7. They are angels who choose to work with dementia residents. The staff work 12 hour shifts 7 to 7 so the same staff are there all day. There is not much staff turnover, so they get to know the residents very well. My wife is generally calm and content there because of the general tone and atmosphere. A consistent routine each day with planned activities each morning and afternoon. She can’t remember what has happened each day but she enjoys being in the moment doing crafts or chair exercises with the other ladies. The constant social interaction keeps her happy. If she wants some quiet time she can go to her room but that seldom happens. I go everyday for an hour or so to help my DW with her shower and clothes which she cannot do on her own. We go out for a walk in nice weather. Then she is anxious to join the group in the common area where she feels secure and sees familiar faces. I was advised to make the move when she still had the cognitive ability to form a new sense of security in her surroundings. 

I know how difficult this transition is to make. It will probably be harder for you. But the change will be better for you both in the long run.