Professionals that help you find a senior community for your LO
Hi All,
I have only been a member for a few days, and I am grateful for the advice and thoughtful ideas that have been shared.
I am curious if anyone has contracted with someone that helps you find a suitable AL or MC home for your LO. I believe they typically get paid by the AL/MC facility, so in my opinion, that could be a potential conflict of interest, although I would think many would still do what is in your LO's best interest. No money out of my pocket though. However, the thought of a portion of the AL/MC's monthly fee going to someone who may or may not have provided much value is also a little uncomfortable. I am able to research, tour, and network pretty well on my own, but being new to this, it might be good to have an experienced person "on the team."
Does anyone have any experience in this area?
Thank you kindly.
Comments
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I have heard of people hiring a geriatric care manager to help with placement if working at a distance. But you would pay for that service.
A Place for Mom works as you describe, as a result they only have information on those places which will pay a fee for placing a resident. Where I live, the better places don't need to contract with APFM because they fill beds via word-of-mouth.
The single best resource for finding a good fit for dad was the local ALZ support group.0 -
I used a service called Clear Path Senior Living Solutions. They were wonderful to work with and don't charge you anything to use their service - it is paid by the facilities. They critical examine and screen facilities and will be blunt about facilities they won't recommend. They will set up tours, discussions with staff, etc. and will help with transition of a LO to a facility. You might check them out to see if they serve your area.
My mother is still in the MC facility that they found for us. Of course my mother doesn't like it all the time but we have developed a great rapport with the staff and are working as a team to take care of Mom.
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I have not accessed a service like this --- and I know you asked for comments by those who have ----but I have to say that I would be skeptical. Such a company will only refer you to places that will pay the fee, even if somewhere else is the better fit. And I highly doubt that the best places need to get into that game. But I did do a lot of research before sending my DH for respite a couple years ago. I asked around, of course, and got a lot of feedback -- so many people know someone who has needed assisted living or memory care. I started with location, because if placement ever becomes permanent, I would want to go often and get there quickly if necessary. I read all the material I could online. Then, I scheduled tours with ones that looked promising. While there, I asked questions about staff turnover, training, ongoing support. I asked for a copy of the contract (very informative and there are differences on what is/is not covered.) I asked under what circumstances a resident would be asked to leave, or required to provide a private aide on top of the facility services. But the most important part was walking through the facility. I looked closely at cleanliness, staff interaction with residents, appearance and affect of the residents, whether they were shut in their rooms or in the common areas .I wasn't as interested in activities or nice decor, although most had both. I was amazed by how much just observing showed me. After that, I had a clear sense of my first choice, and luckily they could do the respite. It wasn't as daunting as it sounds. It will still probably be my first choice if/when he needs placement.0
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Hi Jerome,
Cynbar makes great points as always. Searching this forum was a huge help to me as I started to look at places. I think you're making great progress.
Another resource for help, that might be more neutral, is to ask your Mom's doctor for a referral for a social worker. Since they often help set up people for transfers in and out of facilities they know the ins and outs and can be a big help.
Your state's website may have information about what level of care each facility is licensed to provide, and have results from state inspections/resident complaints. AL/MC licenses are tiered based on what level of assistance they provide. When you start talking to places you'll want to find out what their cutoffs are for care.
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There are geriatric care managers, paid by you and work for you, who help with this and other caregiving matters. I know people who used them and were very happy with them. They are not cheap, but those I know of also provided a lot of services for family.
I and others here advise extreme caution about “free” services, such as Place for Mom, because, as said, they only “recommend” facilities that pay them. Many great places are not recommended by Place for Mom, because those places have enough business without having to pay somebody to help find more. In other words, a facility can be wonderful, but PFM will not tell you about it because the facility did not pay PFM.
There have been some people here who said PFM and similar services worked for them, and that’s great. Just be aware there could be other, wonderful places that PFM won’t mention.
The local Alzheimer’s Association in my area provided lists of licensed/qualified/certified (I forget which term, but training, not just Susie Q calling herself that) geriatric managers, as well as lists and brief descriptions of various facilities. The AA would not recommend one, but at least it’s a good base of reputable service providers.
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I did a lot of research myself. In addition, though, the elder care lawyer I had worked with also worked with me to find places. I knew (guessed) that she probably received some sort of bonus from the place I chose, so bore that in mind, but she was a very useful resource.
Good luck.
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We used someone that was recommended by the social worker that worked alongside my mom's PCP. This person we used had their own company and they were very up front with us, that the way they made money was by having someone actually placed at one of the facilities they recommended.
He talked with us a number of times to get the details of mom's financial and health status. They also took into consideration our location within our city, to recommend places that were only in that area. I never felt he was pushy.
I was skeptical (just in my nature) at first and so far it seems to have worked out and we are pretty happy with the facility. We are only a little over a month in, but mom has settled for the most part, the staff couldn't be more caring, and everyone we have met so far only seem to have good things to say about the place.
The guy that we worked with seemed to really care and was very knowledgeable with what was around town and what it took to get in them. He even took us to places that we asked about, but weren't ones he originally recommended. We were some of the first in our area to even get to tour the facilities, due to Covid restrictions, because of his contacts. We started looking right as things were opening up in our city.
If it wasn't for him, I would never have known about the possibility of finding a place that had a benevolent fund that my mom could potentially use if needed to keep her in her apartment.
It was a stressful time, so I'm glad we had some help navigating everything.
In the end, I did take a lot of questions to ask from this message board and the web and it was our decision if we placed her in any of the facilities we toured or not.
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Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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