Trip Trigger?

cw2502

(I'm sure this has been addressed in the recesses of the forum, but not sure how to find it).

We are 3-1/2 years in to my husband's diagnosis; he takes Memantine and Zoloft.  We have taken overnight trips before, and no problem.

This past week, I drove us to Palo Duro Canyon on Tuesday for a 3 night stay in a lovely cabin.  Halfway there, he starts talking to me like I know nothing about his past.  (All of the below being a big FIRST for me/us):  

"Do you know my daughter Heather?"  "Do you have a boyfriend?" At lunch the first day, he leaned over and said sweetly: "We might want to get married!".  When I told him I was already married, to him, he acted shocked.  I showed him my wedding ring and he said "Where did you steal that?" and laughed.  He said he was not married.

The next days proceeded along this course: "who are your folks?",  "How old are you?"  The evening of the first day, and on the drive home, he was able to communicate that he was very confused about me.  He knew his brain was foggy, cloudy.  I asked him what my name was and he said he didn't know.  He asked "do you go to an office every day to work and go to exercise in the evenings?"  I said "yes", and he said, "So, you are her?"

When we arrived home Friday afternoon, he acted like the home was just his.  As I was putting away my vanity items, he walked by and said "you are welcome to anything here!  (as he splayed his arms over my counter area) "I hope you like it!"  As we sat down to dinner, he lamented "I just don't know where she went, but I like what you and I have going."  Wouldn't believe the house was both ours.  The next morning:  "Her stuff looks good on you.  Do you have what you need?"  You get the idea ....... MANY more examples I could provide.  By Saturday afternoon, he seemed to be doing much better, but I'm not 100% sure he knows right now exactly who I am.  I have a call in to his doctor.  

We recently let our daughter and son in law assume our big bumper pull RV (as he no longer can manage it) and I want to get something really small that I can pull.  He loves to camp and be outdoors.  MY QUESTION:  IS OUT OF TOWN TRAVEL NOT GOOD FOR THEM WHEN THIS STARTS HAPPENING??!  Or will this type of behavior come and go and it's only a coincidence it happened on this trip?  

Any input would be appreciated.  Thank you guys.  

ButterflyWings

Hi cw - What a shock, right?! You possibly are right that the trip and unfamiliar routine triggered some of this, but it was coming anyway. Yes, I have been down that same winding road and it was with very roller coaster emotions. I'll tell you. For me, traveling as long as possible was important. Road trips much easier than flying, as my DH is on his own time zone. After we missed multiple flights (and lost the airfare as I had been booking discount flights) we don't do that anymore. Too stressful, too risky with bathroom problems, etc. And covid took a year out of our possible air travel timline, so...it is what it is. I would only travel out of the country again if I had someone with us who knew his situation and could help.

My concerns when car-traveling at mid stage 6 now, are more manageable with us being vaccinated (We still did a few road trips last year but I used to be serious with the gloves, masks, sanitizer and wipes, snacks in the car, stopping only at low-attendance rest areas, playing his favorite oldies on Sirius radio etc. )

Now, that he often does not know who I am (but still likes me most of the time thank goodness!) I have mainly been worried about how to sleep without my DH wandering (same as at home but here I have alarms and chimes, etc.) You can work that out though, to be sure you all get to enjoy camping and/or whatever you both can enjoy, for as long as you safely can. And that's pretty much it.

Welcome to the forum though I'm sorry you and any of us need to be here. This is a great and caring group of people freely sharing their experience and encouragement as we navigate our LOs dementia.

Rescue mom

Every Alzheimer’s patient has different symptoms at different times...but my DH, who formerly loved to travel and we did (including in a VW pop-top camper), became far worse in surroundings away from home.

 He lost abilities he could do at home, and was generally agitated. He was never hostile, just fearful and needed constant direction for everything, such as toileting, eating, turning on a faucet, etc etc. When friends went with us, it was much easier. But it was not fun for them, (most had limited vacay time and caregiving wasn’t their choice activity) not fun for DH, and too physically exhausting for me alone.

He’d be back to “normal” once home, but our traveling days ended some time ago. You will have to judge how he reacts, and how much you can do, with or without help.

Cynbar

All of this echos our experience. My Dh used to love to travel and we did a lot of it ---- he had many business trips that I often tagged along on, we traveled to child-friendly destinations when the kids were little, cruised and explored the US and Caribbean and toured Europe after they were grown. Thank goodness we did it then because he never could handle it now. It got to the point when it wasn't fun for him or me. He got very nervous and anxious in unfamiliar surroundings, was more confused away from home, had meltdowns in public places,  asked repeatedly to just go home. He'd improve once home, but every trip set him back and he never came back all the way.  I think any change of routine is more difficult as dementia progresses. Now that COVID is receding, I've started to think about getting away by myself or with family --- but he'll go to respite. That part of his life is over.

Jeff86

The conventional wisdom is that PWD’s fare best with routines.   Vacations—different places, different schedules, different food, and so on—disrupt daily routines.  Great for those of us who want a break or a change, but not so good for AD patients.

As has been mentioned, every AD patient is different.  The last plane trip DW took was August 2019.  She was somewhat fearful in the plane, and negotiating the airport, and especially bathrooms, was nightmarish.  Trips by car get around some of those issues, but the change in routine remains a possible trigger for confused behavior. 

I am resigned to no longer traveling with my DW.  Your mileage may vary.