how to get DH INTO the shower

Marie58

DH occasionally refuses to get into the shower. He seems afraid to actually get in there, not the showering process itself. It has a very small lip to step over.  Any suggestions? Thanks in advance.

June45

Marie,

Is your DH afraid of stepping over the lip?  It is possible that a transfer bench might help.

 Amazon.com: Carex Tub Transfer Bench - Shower Chair Transfer Bench with Height Adjustable Legs - Convertible to Right or Left Hand Entry: Health & Personal Care

Ed1937

Two possibilities I can think of. Have someone build a ramp, if you have the room. Or grab bars might help if you can put one close enough where he can reach it before getting in. I put a small bar that my wife can reach easily, and another larger one to hold onto when she is in the shower. Maybe get in the shower with him?

Ed1937

Marie58

Thanks June and Ed. He's in MC, otherwise I would get in with him.   The shower already has grab bars all around. There is a bench in there as well, but not the transfer style. I plan on talking with them today to get more information on why they think he won't get in and what they've tried. I was hoping to have some ideas to suggest as well.

Blessings everyone!

June45

Marie,

I am curious if the MC folks come up with a solution.  Let us know if they do.

Ed1937

June45 wrote:

Marie,

I am curious if the MC folks come up with a solution.  Let us know if they do.

Absolutely! Tips like this can help a lot of people.

 

Marie58

DH got into the shower yesterday. It was a different caregiver (whom he's more familiar with) which may have helped. She was on one side of him and helped him in, but he grabbed the shower curtain with his other hand and actually tore it off of about 5 of the rings! They are going to put some dark tape over the lip to see if that helps him see it to step over. They also have a ramp that they are going to try.

He's fine once he gets in there and he lets them shower him. It's just the getting in.

Beachfan

The “routine queen” chiming in here.  Our shower opening is wide with a small lip to step over.  I take DH’s left hand with my left hand, (I am standing beside him on his left).  Keeping hold of his left hand, I put my right hand under his left elbow and slowly guide him toward the shower opening.  He slides his feet until his toes touch the lip when I’ll say, “Step in”.  (The water is already flowing at a comfortable temp.) Always the same routine, always the same directions.  I am sure that with different caregivers or any variation, the outcome would be questionable.  Maybe if he only showered when one particular caregiver was assigned, it would be easier.  Hard to accomplish when he is in a facility and the activity is out of your control, but worth inquiring about.  Good luck.  I have been adamant about showering and shampooing DH every other evening without fail; don’t know how I’ll react if my approach fails........

*Edited to add: There is a bath mat outside the shower opening, thick and absorbent, that makes the step into the shower a little less “high”.

Marie58

Beachfan, I totally agree about routine. I was very strict with our routines when DH was home. I didn't say anything to them about the caregiver, but I had the same thought. If it happens again, if the other solutions don't work, I think I'll ask if it could be the same person each time.

3collies

For many, espcially those with low vision, using yellow tape is often more effective/visible than dark.

3collies

My problem is not that my husband cannot shower but that he won't. I was able to get him to shower in the past by telling him that we were going out for lunch or that someone was visiting. Now he just says that he likes the way he is. This includes clothing unchanged for a week including night time. anything beyond gentle suggestions leads to anger. I no longer have a way to convince him to do this. I sorry about skin integrity , not to mention the smell,

I am wait listed for care givers but, like so many others have said, they are simply not available.

I put a bench in a started to put in grab bars but that lead to more resistance. He refuses to let me stay in the room with him let alone shower with him. 

Any thoughts?

Treading_water

I was having an issue with him thinking he had already bathed when he hadn’t or being mad that I was telling him what to do. 

I have had a lot of luck with getting him to join me when I am already in there. I’ll say hey..I am almost done. Want to hop in while the water is hot? I’ll ask him to get my back for me which he is willing to do then I can get him started snd get out. I’ll dry off and chat with him while he’s in there so I can ensure he takes care of everything. If it feels like something we are both doing he doesn’t seem to mind at all.