Can mom recover from complications after lumber fracture

Susan2021

My mom bound to bed after lumber fracture In middle February this year, she was able to eat, walking in park, went to bathroom before, since then, she gradually lost ability to feed herself, developed pressure sore seriously, now she relies on catheter feeding tube, urinary catheter, provided by a housemaid, as my family in China don’t like nurse home there. She was very health before fracture, even a month ago, they took her to hospital for pressure sores treatment, all her other body condition was good. She was in hospital for three weeks, pressure sores was in control but not fully recovered. Now is the second week back home, the Dr who comes daily to care the pressure sore told me yesterday, I should prepare for the worst. Can’t believe everything happened in four months, or two weeks. I saw her in Zoom, looked very weak. It is heartbroken to be far away, talk to another Dr in family nurse home, she suggest at this stage, care quality is everything, suggest to feed her 6 times a day instead of three, make her sit instead of lying in bed all day long. Any experience for this situation? Thank you.

M1

Hi Susan and welcome to the forum. How hard to be so far away from your mother. I think (I'm a semiretired internal medicine doc) that what the o their doctors are telling you is right, she is not likely to recover and in fact may be actively dying. I'm so sorry you are not able to be there with her.  I would want to make sure she is not in pain, first and foremost-vertebral fractures can be very painful and that can make moving her quiet difficult, she may not be able to tolerate sitting up. 

You didn't say if she has dementia or how advanced it is-but progression frequently occurs when there are other injuries or illnesses too. Again I'm sorry, trying to help from far away is very difficult. 

zauberflote

Welcome, Susan! It is so hard to be so very far away, and not to be able to help in person. 

My mother went to the hospital at age 89 for dehydration. They should have sent her home after they fixed that, but since I wasn't there (I lived 600 miles away) to stop them, they admitted her. By the next morning, she was very confused (it's called hospital delirium, and you're susceptible if you're over 65, you don't have to have dementia to suffer it), and by the time I got there on the third day, she'd lost the ability to walk, and pretty much given up on life. She was in hospital a total of 6 nights, and had to be discharged to a rehabilitation facility because she was so weak. They kept her for two months and got her walking again. 

Your mother was in the hospital for three weeks, and in pain. Anybody would decline. I'm sorry this is happening. If, as M1 mentions may be the case, she is actively dying, it would be good for family to know what her wishes were. Did she want aggressive measures taken? (a feeding tube is an aggressive measure, for instance) It's extra difficult for you, having to rely on reports from the people who are there. 

There is a very good book by Hank Dunn called Hard Choices for Loving People. It's short, well-written, and easy to read. I think it's available in PDF form online. I read it three times, because it was so helpful to me as my mother lived the last couple of years of her life. 

zauberflote

 Welcome, Susan! It is so hard to be so very far away, and not to be able to help in person. 

My mother went to the hospital at age 89 for dehydration. They should have sent her home after they fixed that, but since I wasn't there (I lived 600 miles away) to stop them, they admitted her. By the next morning, she was very confused (it's called hospital delirium, and you're susceptible if you're over 65, you don't have to have dementia to suffer it), and by the time I got there on the third day, she'd lost the ability to walk, and pretty much given up on life. She was in hospital a total of 6 nights, and had to be discharged to a rehabilitation facility because she was so weak. They kept her for two months and got her walking again. 

Your mother was in the hospital for three weeks, and in pain. Anybody would decline. I'm sorry this is happening. If, as M1 mentions may be the case, she is actively dying, it would be good for family to know what her wishes were. Did she want aggressive measures taken? (a feeding tube is an aggressive measure, for instance) It's extra difficult for you, having to rely on reports from the people who are there. 

There is a very good book by Hank Dunn called Hard Choices for Loving People. It's short, well-written, and easy to read. I think it's available in PDF form online. I read it three times, because it was so helpful to me as my mother lived the last couple of years of her life.