How talk openly with your spouse about their diagnosis

Donnafraize

My significant other is in the early stages of Alzheimer’s and I try to talk to him about what is happening but he just wants to make jokes about it and I find nothing funny about this at all. 

He is the sweetest person. I met him 10 years ago. Gentle voice, peace maker, animal lover. Today he angers at the the slightest annoyance, swears and throws things. He will tell me “spirits are F-ing with him” he is constantly accusing me of taking his belonging and throwing them away. He struggles to recall names of objects and places. I have taken the keys away as he is not safe to drive anymore.’

It’s weird he knows I have the keys but can’t remember that I gave him the remote to unlock the truck doors.

There is no long a “relationship” I am caregiver and he is my client to take care of.

I just recently came to realize everything is now on my shoulders. He is capable of doing household task but he requires supervision to complete them.

Marta

Donna:  please read the responses on the thread about nine places lower on this page about telling a loved one about their diagnosis. 

By your description, your loved one is no longer in the early stage of dementia. He likely has anosognosia. 

M1

Welcome Donna.  So hard to lose your partner--those days of mutual talk and decision-making are long gone for most of us.  Yes, it changes the relationship.  Was he your "client" before he was a loved one?

Look up the seven stages of dementia; that may give you a handle on where he is and what you can expect.  The sooner you give up expecting rational responses--as hard as that is--the better off you will be.  You are going to be the only one capable of changing your behavior, he can no longer do so, sadly.  It's very hard and very sad, but this is a good place to learn, exchange ideas, vent when you need to.  Good luck.

Iris L.

You're not married.  If he has children think about alerting them so they can make plans for future care.  Someone should have POA or guardianship.  There are a lot of important decisions to be made.  He sounds like he is passed signing for a POA now, but that would be up to the elder attorney you choose.  

Iris L.