Getting DH to Accept Outside Helper

LucieSue

It is time to approach the topic of bringing in a companion for my DH who has VD. The last time I mentioned it right before the COVID shutdown, he angrily replied that he didn't need a babysitter. I need to bring it up again. How do I get him used to the idea so he will accept the helper? He is the type of guy who doesn't like people coming to our house.

Ed1937

Hi Lucie Sue. Welcome to the forum. Wish you didn't have to be here, but you have found a good place. People here will share techniques that work for them, they are understanding about anything that is bothering you, and they are willing to help whenever possible.

One of the things we do when our LO refuses help, is to let them think the help is there to help us, not them. Maybe you need a little help with light housework or cooking. Once they get to know the caregiver, many times they will like them, and accept them in the house. Keep the focus on what you need. You will likely get more suggestions. If you don't get any tonight, check back in the morning.

Joe C.

LucieSue, As Ed suggested making up a “fiblet” that the caregiver is there to help you may make it more acceptable for your husband. Initially when I had tried to bring in a caregiver my DW didn’t want a stranger in the house and would not hear of it. When I needed some surgery I convinced her the caregivers was coming to help me recover and she was OK since the help was for me. The agency the I hired the caregiver through was aware of the fiblet and played along. After a few weeks DW bonded with the caregiver and she has been with us for over 3-1/2 years.

Donr

My story is the same as Ed1937 and Joe C.