Difficult weekend

amicrazytoo

Seriously horrible weekend. Saturday morning at 6:20 AM, my (92 year old) father calls and says he can't walk, he wants me to take him urgent care. No problem, I will get there as soon as I can. (it's a 2 hour drive) My brother who lives less than 10 miles away, was out of town this weekend. Normally he would call him. We arrive and he can not walk without some serious help.  I can not lift him. I told him we would have to call 911 and have him taken by ambulance. The 911 operator told me to round up any pets and have them elsewhere while the paramedics were there.  OK, dogs go outside into the yard. In the mean time DH, lets the dogs back in, the paramedics were great, they got the dogs back outside again. DH, let's them in again. Ugh... They took my father to the emergency room. They said to wait at the house, as we could not go in until they had him settled. It will probably be 20 -30 minutes. Two hours later my father calls and says I can come over, he's in room 14.  I get there and tell my DH to sit tight in the car, he can sit there and smoke his cigarettes. Inside I am told that once I go back to see my father, if I leave for any reason, I, nor anyone else can see my father until the next day, ugh... I give the nurse the heads up that my DH is out in the car waiting and he has dementia, she said she would come and  get me if he started wandering. Thankfully, that was not necessary, after about an hour they discharged my father with some pain medication. DH was still sitting there, happily smoking his cigarettes. I am grateful he is not too combative and is easily entertained. The rest of the day went smoothly. Then Sunday morning, I get up and my dog had a bad case of diarrhea all over my fathers living room overnight. Coffee would have to wait, had to get it cleaned up before DH would walk through it and track it all over the house.  Later my brother returned and took over, we left and went back home. DH had a bowel movement later that day, he began on the toilet, then moved to the shower, It wouldn't have been too bad, except when he got out of the shower he left a trail of fecal matter going from the bathroom to the bedroom. I later went in and cleaned out the shower and disinfected the area. What a way to start and end your day. Just needed to get it out there, I hope you can get a chuckle or two at my expense.  Many times I log on and think what a bad day I had, then I read what others have posted and realize, it could be worse.  As always, thanks for listening.

June45

Oh my...it sounds like the weekend from hell!  (Can I say "hell" on this forum?) On the bright side at least the fecal matter didn't go from the bathroom to the bedroom to the living room!

Ed1937

amicrazytoo wrote:

I hope you can get a chuckle or two at my expense. 

I can't laugh at that. You have my sympathy. Hope your dad gets along ok.

M1

Indeed a difficult (I would say sh--ty) experience, literally and figuratively.  Do let us know how your dad does.  Sounds like you could have used a sitter for either your husband or your dad.  Not enough of you to go around.

Judi.P

I am not going to chuckle, either. My husband is incontinent and goes through many diapers daily. He hides his underpants. So, I gave him a diaper pail for his closet to "hide" his underpants. (That way, I can be assured of one location to find and wash them). But when #2 happens...it is all I can do not to run away. He wants to help me clean up. He smears it everywhere in the bathroom. Doorknobs, door, sink, mirrors. Everything is covered in a thin film of ...well, you know. The Pit of Abominable Stench would smell better as I scour this mess. And I wonder why someone does not make "cleaning suits"...Bounty Paper Towel shirts and pants that are disposable. Just for cleaning. But, I digress. As I clean, my husband is offended if he sees me scrubbing because that is perceived as criticism of the cleaning job that he has just done...(the smear job). And yes, we have animals. Who are very interested in what those delightful aromas are emanating from the bathroom. I have gained 10lbs.  So, I won't smile or chuckle at your distress. You handled yourself like Joan of Arc, braving a battle. Bravo!!!

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harshedbuzz

Victoria2020 wrote:

"Asking for a friend"   but what do memory care places do to not have these killer clean-ups? How do they separate the "pooh from the patient" and keep things on schedule? Do they know tricks home based caregivers are missing?

They have a team. A well rehearsed team. I've seen them in action at dad's MCF. They have an aide to take the PWD to the shower which is designed as a "wet room" and can be hosed down after. Another aide will distract and care for the rest of the residents in that unit. Someone from the custodial staff will clean and sanitize the area. Order is generally restored quickly. 

"

Judy-

They do make such garments. 

White Disposable Microporous Coveralls with Hood - XL (webstaurantstore.com)

One thing often suggested for the cleaning to combat the smell is old style shaving cream- the foamy kind. Barbasol or one of its Dollar Store knock-offs are best to this end.

David J

Victoria-

Their “secret” is staff. They have patient care staff to try and prevent the problem, or if it happens, to clean up the patient. Then housekeeping staff to attack the poo. Other staff to engage the patient while housekeeping finishes. All of he things we try to do all by ourselves. 

amicrazytoo

Seeing how this thread made it back to the top. An update. My father now requires 24/7 care, it's a horrible existence for him, as he is fully capable with the exception of his knees. He can no longer walk. He has always been one to keep on moving, he was mowing my brothers lawn (9 acres) weekly and volunteering at the loaves and fishes food bank. He would take his dog to the local nursing homes to visit "the old folks."  Now the poor guy is in the care of my brother and myself. When my brother is with him, he is more mobile as my brother can lift him. However, when I am the one with him, I can not lift him, so I am not able to take him out to eat, to a doctors appointment, etc... He is a social butterfly, that has lost it's wings. I do believe this setback will be the end for him.

What a new experience this will be, spending as many nights at my fathers house as my own with my DH. Keeping him happy while also caring for dad.

My fathers dog caught an opossum and brought it in the house the other night, thank God, it was my brothers night there, he got him and let him loose. The animal was not dead. 

I will have to try the shaving cream for the clean up, had not thought of that.

Thanks for listening.

Stuck in the middle

I don't have that problem yet.  But I have a plan, sort of, to get ahead of the problem.  Eggs.

Astronauts want to minimize poop, for obvious reasons.  NASA has discovered that the "incredible, edible egg" digests almost completely and contributes almost nothing to the poop generated.  Hello omelet, goodbye chili cheeseburger! 

Stuck in the middle

Sorry, amicrazytoo.  Looks like our posts crossed in the ether.  I don't want to make light of your father's situation.  He sounds like a great guy, and I'm sure the people at the food bank and NH miss him.

M1

It's terrible when one passes the age for surgeries that might help, like knee replacements.  Miserable.  A cautionary tale to get them done earlier if needed, for the rest of us.  I'm glad he has you and your brother, and his dog.