emails and internet connectivity

Mary Lu

My DH is in early stages of early onset A . He has been put on sick leave but still thinks he can administer work. I can't keep on top of his connectivity to the internet. - I can't take his phone away or his lap top. He answering emails from 2017 for example or replies to one person what should be said to another.

I am still working - part time, but when do I have to quit my job to look after my DH. When do I stop him driving - or leaving the house - how do I stop him? How do I know when it's time - before it's too late?

Ed1937

Welcome to the forum, Mary Lu. Sorry you are dealing with this. But you found a good place to get help to get through this. 

I think the biggest thing you mentioned, at least so far, is the driving. When you see that he is having trouble behind the wheel, it will be time to start the process of no driving. When that happens, let us know. 

If you haven't seen a CELA (certified elder law attorney), this is something you will want to do soon. If you wait too long, you will be sorry. They can protect a lot of your assets, and help you understand how Medicaid works. Unless you are wealthy, you will likely need it.

You might not have to worry for quite some time about him wandering. Not everybody wanders. Again, if this happens, you will get help here.

Keep posting, and read a lot of old posts. You will learn a lot that way. 

Ed1937

I should have added this. If he is early onset, he should apply for Social Security Disability now.

M1

Mary lu, if he will agree to a driving assessment, do it (my partner refuses).  These are done at rehab centers-Google it for places near you. May run several hundred dollars out of pocket but worth it to take the monkey off your back.

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Stuck in the middle

He needs to stop driving now.  Driving is the most complex thing most of us do.  If he can't deal appropriately with emails, he certainly can't safely operate a car.

My wife worked in the insurance industry for years, and stopped driving as soon as she was diagnosed with AD.  She knew that she would be blamed for any collision that occurred, regardless of the circumstances, due to her diagnosis.  

I retired when my wife could still stay home alone, but was bored and lonely because she could no longer read books, watch movies, or do needlework without assistance.  I could afford it financially, so it was no big deal.  I don't know how old you are or how much money you have or how much you like your job.

Nowhere

Regarding his emails- my husband is in advanced dementia now but he can still send rudimentary emails and texts in his phone. A few years ago he’d struggle with his password so I would help him with it. As he advanced into dementia I monitored his communications. As he lost working knowledge he’d post on FB thinking he was searching on the Internet. Also, he’d get confused by old emails. I limited his contacts to those of understanding friends and immediate family over the years. I restricted his Facebook posts so only he saw the posts, and I still daily clean out his emails. He has no recollection of what he’s wrote or read within his next thought, he is in a facility now and uses email to communicate with our children and his niece. Often he is pleading that we release him from his prison and he’ll get a job and move out of town so as not to be a bother. Of course we can send him loving messages. I weigh taking him off WiFi as his emails are so upsetting. It’s a way for him to vent his frustrations.

French

 Your post takes me back 3 years. 

On sick leave he thought he still had to manage his team when before the sick leave it was his team that managed him.

And he contacted other companies to change jobs. Fortunately, he could not remember appointments made and did not go. I was very afraid that he would be fired because I knew that he had a very good insurance policy in his company and I suspected that we would need it.

He was buying tons of useless stuff on amazon, many times the same things, it was ruinous. And he was falling into all the iPhone traps at 1€. I spent my time cancelling subscriptions to games that it would ruin.

 He was losing the car. 

 That time when we didn't know it was Alzheimer's yet was exhausting. I was both a firefighter and a detective. 

French

Unfortunately, you'll have to impose bans, cut off access to accounts... otherwise you'll burn out

And yes, no more driving. I've hidden the car keys. He would call me to ask where they were and I would tell him he wouldn't get them, which made him angry