What should I say?

ems52

My DH has been in a Long Term Care facility for about 30 days, he spent about two weeks prior in the hospital. He is feeling that I put him there since I am the one who took him to the emergency room. Whenever I call to try to talk to him he insist on knowing "when are you coming to get me?" I am not sure how I should answer this question, when I try to explain why he is there he says he's fine and  the doctors don't know what they are talking about. Sometimes he gets to the point of cursing me out and hanging up. I would love to let him know I am there for him but I am beginning to dread speaking to him, so I just call and speak to his nurse to see how he is fairing. Any suggestions?

Stuck in the middle

As you have found, logic and reason don't work with people who are unable to reason.  Just  telling the barefaced truth by saying "probably never" isn't going to make for a very pleasant conversation either.  I would probably say "I miss you and I'll bring you home as soon as the doctor says you're OK."  He then will probably reiterate that he is OK and the doctors don't know what they're doing, and you say "I'll have to talk to him about that" and change the subject.

No guilt here.   You are doing your best in a tough situation.

JoseyWales

Ditto what Stuck in the middle said. Let him know you're there for him, you will bring him home once the doctor's say ok, and that you have written the doctor a letter asking for his release but haven't heard back yet.  That's basically what I tell DH when he gets upset he can't drive, and the fact that I'm on his side and am somehow taking an active role for him deflects the anger a bit.

Ed1937

Stuck's got it right. It's up to the doctor.