Aggression(2)

SRCB

My father moved into a memory care community in August 2020. He has unspecified dementia and he is progressing rather quickly. He is mostly non-verbal; however, in the past 6 weeks he has become more territorial and concerned about others getting to close to him. This has escalated in him grabbing another resident by the arms. His attention is easily diverted but I'm finding that the staff to resident ratio is not sufficient for them to redirect him. I have trouble getting information from the staff and the phone is not always answered when I call. Phone calls and emails are not returned. I am actively looking to move him out of the community but I want to avoid this happening in the next place. I live 5 states away; so, I can't be onsite to observe. In the short term I have hired home health to sit with him for 12 hours a day but that is not a viable financial solution. Has anyone else experienced this and how did you handle?

JDancer

Would it be possible to move him to a facility near your home?

SRCB

I am definitely looking at moving him closer to me as an option. My brother lives in the same town as his memory care community so he is not completely alone. The cost of living in my area is about $2K more a month than in his current area from what I have found so far. 

I would love to give him the care that he deserves but I am in the impossible position of giving him the care that he can afford. 

Lor2014

Can you talk to his doctor? Antipsychotic medication is common. Although not hostile, my mother was put on Seroquel because she works herself into a frenzy about different things (her purse being stolen, needing a checkbook to pay bills, being lost at a hotel, etc.) The doctors and staff should be familiar with these issues and they solutions. Just my two cents.

SRCB

Thank you, we are trying to adjust medication. He changed one medication on Monday and increased the dosage of another yesterday. Fingers crossed we start to see some results.

John2.0.1

My mom is in an MC about 5 minutes away.  

Mom has started to hit people. She was hitting an aid who was taking her to her room at meds time. She also whacked an aid as she just passed. She is also sometimes getting under tables at meal time and yells and hits when they try to make sure she doesn't bang her head under the table.

She's getting out of her wheelchair and going under the table. Horrible thing to do with Parkinson's.

She's on sertraline, Zoloft and memantine. 

We only just had a telehealth with her NP a couple days ago and things were going well. Now this.

It's still over a month until her neurologist appointment.  No times closer. I made the appointment in May. First availability 4 months out. Not good.

Nurse says she snaps out of it in less than 5 minutes. If she was longer they'd call to have her evaluated but by the time the EMT'S would get there she'd be back on baseline and no point sending her for an eval. 

ekap4

First time here and I am just starting the Journey with my Mom. I am long distance with my sibling with Mom. Mom had been living at her own home until 2 weeks ago. She was admitted to Hospital and then Rehab. She thinks we are imprisoning her, she is horrible nasty. In Rehab she would pack up her things every day and stand. Yesterday she feel and hit her head+ broken nose. She is back in Hospital totally angry. How do we navigate this? I would like to get her in a facility but she is totally uncooperative. Plus, I am afraid she will hurt herself more with her anger. What can we say and how can I help my sister who is there?

Stuck in the middle

ekap4, welcome to the club.  My first suggestion is to start your own thread so more people see your question.  Just click the "add topic" button near the top of the page.

What can you say?  Nothing, really.  You can't reason with people whose ability to reason is compromised.  Sounds like your mother could benefit from medications to lessen her anger,  A consult with a geriatric psychiatrist might be in order.