Take LO along to doctor appointments?

Hal42

Have any of you taken your LO with you to your doctor appointments? I can’t always get someone to stay with my wife when I go to appts and I don’t want to leave her home alone for the amount of time I would be absent. Today I’ll be taking her with me. This doctor knows my wife so I don’t see any problems. 

I’m  just wondering if any of you have run into problems with doctors and how you handled it.  

I feel any doctor worth his/her salt will understand the situation and be ok with it. 

Paul&Me

Paul has been going to my appointments for a few years. He cannot come to my infusion appointments (cancer) but he comes along to everything else. At some point he won't be able to. My oncologist asks about him, how he's doing, is he okay to be left alone, how it's affecting me, and do I have a support system. Our eye appointments were yesterday, and they know to take us both at the same time. No doctor has ever questioned me about having him with me.

harshedbuzz

I can only speak to our experience pre-COVID.

My mother, who sees a lot of doctors, often took dad along to her appointments. They all knew dad had dementia and were accommodating and gracious about it. Dad had it in his mind that any physician had it in his/her power to override his neurologist's no driving order and would  pester them about telling the authorities he could drive. Most handled it deftly and with respect, but I did feel sorry for her derm he listened to him for an hour during a MOHS procedure. Mom didn't realize she'd be so long and called me from the ladies room to come and take him home. The derm was happy to see me.

HB

Rick4407

My DW and I have gone to each others medical appointments for 11 years.  At first it was because we both had an interest in each others health, now of course with dementia it's essential and an established pattern.   Never has any Dr said anything and they all expect it.  Rick

piozam13

Yes.   Even before ALZ, DH asked doctors to let me in in all his medical appointments.  He also came to mine. Doctors don't mind.

Doityourselfer

I would absolutely not bring my husband to my doctor's appointment.

60 falcon

I've brought my wife to all appointments for years, no problems at all. She can't be left alone at all. The only exceptions are when I'm getting PET/CT scans.  I've been been able to schedule those when one of our sons can come up to be with her.

M1

Hal, I think it depends on the nature of the appointment and the ability of the PWD to cooperate.  When I was in practice I occasionally had people bring their children with them---very disruptive--sometimes even expecting me to be able to do something invasive like a pelvic exam with a child in the room!  Not happening.  If the LO isn't disruptive, I think most docs wouldn't mind if it's a routine visit.  But there are a lot of variables.  If there needs to be major discussion (new cancer diagnosis, for instance, or complicated testing discussed), then  maybe not.

Hal42

Today’s appt went well for us as I thought it would. The doctor came in, saw my wife and the two of them exchanged a little bit of  “girl talk” before the doctor apologized to me, her patient, for not acknowledging me first.  

If and when I feel she would be a hindrance at my appointments, I’ll make other arrangements. I would not be comfortable leaving her in the waiting room while I get a CT scan, etc. 

I know these appointments are for doctor visits but they also provide “outings” for us. Time to enjoy each other’s company. Before we go she will pick some place to get take-out and remind me of it on the way home so I don’t forget!

Many thanks to all who replied!  God Bless!

White Crane

My DH has gone to Dr. appointments with me at times but I try not to take him.  He complains loudly about having to wait and about the Dr.  He sometimes makes rude comments about other people in the waiting room or the staff.  Once inside the exam room, he continues to complain until the Dr. enters the room.  Then he sits quietly with his head bowed like he is asleep.  It wears me out!  And I can't be totally honest with the Dr. about how I'm coping.

Lorita

Hi Hal,

 Charles always went to my appointments with me.  The doctor was always very friendly  with him - always spoke to him and visited a bit.  I was getting my BP taken once and Charles walked out of the exam room.  My doctor found him and brought him back.  There was never a problem.

 And, as for the CT Scans, Charles also went with me for that.  They let him come into the CT room and have a seat.  He was really paying attention because when the man told me to take a deep breath and hold it - Charles said "okay" and did it, too.

 Another time I was having a mammogram and they let him wait in a private room while they were doing it.   There was never any problem.    I always went with him to his appointments, too.  In fact, the doctor preferred me to be there. 

 Glad the appointment went well. 

Stuck in the middle

White Crane wrote:

And I can't be totally honest with the Dr. about how I'm coping.

Ditto.  Some questions can't be frankly answered with your spouse in the room.

Hal42

I agree,  White Crane and Stuck. At times I can’t talk freely with my wife with me. I don’t want to let my wife know what I’m going through taking care of her. I’m thinking of contacting the nurse a day or two before appointments and telling her of my concerns, etc. Then the doctor will be able to bring things up in our visits.