Is the anger a stage will it abate.

Jude4037

My husband was a very gentle man. But now 7yrs into our AD journey he is very aggressive  and angry  . It started with short bursts but not lasts several days. Will this abate or is this how it will be from now on. Any insight from you all would help.

aod326

Hi Jude. I'm sorry you're going through this. It's really difficult and dispiriting - and another reminder of how you husband isn't the person you know.

There's an expression that "once you've met one person with dementia, you've met one person with dementia". In other words, there are a lot of differences. With my DH, and with many others whose posts I read here, though, the rage stage was just that - a stage. It was awful while it lasted, and unpredictable. He said a lot of horrible things to me, and did a lot of yelling and screaming in anger. He didn't ever hurt anyone other than himself, but there were several times when I became concerned for my safety. Like your husband, DH was the sweetest, kindest person and this was totally out of character.

Once the rage stopped, it stopped totally and didn't reappear. Every stage has its challenges but, for me, the rage stage was one of the biggest adjustments. 

Very best of luck.

jane8851

My husband went through the anger stage as well. He was extremely verbally abusive. But it passed and now he's happy and kind. I like to say everything is 72 degrees and sunny in his world right now. He doesn't seem to get frustrated anymore when he can't remember or do the things he used to do. From my experience, and every one is different, I believe he doesn't know anymore how impaired he is. I think when he was in the stage where he knew he was declining it made him angry. He knows he has Alzheimer's but it doesn't bother him now.

harshedbuzz

I am sorry you are in the rage stage. My dad had a pretty challenging personality as a baseline which made it hard to draw a line in the sand and say "this is where the dementia anger stage started". It just got to be more of a constant and aimed at people other than me.

It did eventually pass about a month before he died from complications of aspiration pneumonia. 

My advice would be to see a geriatric psychiatrist to explore medication to relieve whatever feelings he's having (depression, anxiety, delusions) that are driving the anger. This could improve quality of life for you both.

Paris20

My husband has had several meltdowns, directing most of his anger at the aide I hired. She is a gem but my husband wants no help. He thinks he’s fine. His balance has become very shaky and he has fallen. Fortunately he hasn’t been seriously hurt and we have made the house as barrier-free as possible. Nevertheless, this morning he tripped and fell. Getting up is a great challenge for him, so the aide tried to help him. He screamed and yelled at her using several four-letter words and insisting he could take care of himself. I offered assistance and was met with the same reply. After almost 15 minutes he got up by himself. 

I apologized profusely to the aide,who said she is very familiar with AD and understands. Still, words have meaning and words can hurt so when the worst had passed I told DH to apologize for what he said. He was surprised by my request, asking me what had happened and what he had said. Within minutes he had forgotten the entire incident. His cognitive decline makes trying to fool me impossible. He was honestly clueless.

Not long ago the neurologist prescribed an antipsychotic to go along with the antidepressant DH takes each day. My husband was a zombie and he was dangerously unsteady. It seems that antipsychotics are more for caregivers than patients since they knock people out. I just cannot give him that class of medication although I may change my mind if the anger worsens.