Advice for new primary caregivers?

Ginsamae

I need some advice - we will be taking MIL to Sib #1's house later this week. They have agreed to take over as primary caregivers for the next year to both give DH and I a break and to also allow us to spend the time we need with our daughter (pregnant and living with us) to assist her with the baby.  

I have told DH that I want to make copies of all of our documentation (copies of labs and doctor visits, notes on behaviors we've seen, and a copy of DBAT (dementia behavioral assessment tool) that lists the stages and behaviors that may be seen in each stage. I've been marking the behaviors I've noted in MIL on it.

What else do we need to do to prepare Sib #1 & spouse for this job...they think that it isn't as difficult as it is so I'd like to give them a decent heads-up on what they are about to experience. Being a temporary caregiver as they have been (a month here, 6 weeks there) is so very different than having to take care of doctor appointments, lab work, everyday dealing with the person with dementia. Any advice is greatly appreciated!  Thanks

Sjodry

Ginsamae,

I would have them read this: http://www.dementiacarestrategies.com/12_pt_Understanding_the_Dementia_Experience.pdf

Also, I would encourage them to join this site. 

So glad you will get a bit of respite from their care for awhile.

Good luck.

Sandy

M1

Ginsame, given the family dynamics you've described before, I don't think you need to consider it your responsibility to prepare them.  It's up to them, and anything you say or offer might be taken as unsolicited, unwanted input.  Makes sense to have the labs and doctors' reports available, but I'd wait until they ask for them, I think.

Good luck, I hope it works out for all involved.  And good luck with your new grandchild.

Cynbar

Unless the new team lives close to you, they'll be arranging for new doctors for MIL. Have her sign any forms needed to release information to them before she departs. The new doctors will send for the records and get all the needed info. Beyond that. as M1 said, I'd mostly sit back and wait till they ask. They have had her before so they do have some background. Everyone navigates this journey in their own way. They may not do things the way you do them, but I'm betting MIL will be just fine. You certainly deserve your release from caregiving responsibilities --- turn it over to them now.

dayn2nite2

Let them find out for themselves.  This is your husband’s issue, his mother and his family.  Wave goodbye and DO NOT become the telephone consultant for these people.  Tell them to contact your husband if they have questions.

In other words, DETACH FROM THIS.

dayn2nite2

Sjodry wrote:

Ginsamae,

I would have them read this: http://www.dementiacarestrategies.com/12_pt_Understanding_the_Dementia_Experience.pdf

Also, I would encourage them to join this site. 

So glad you will get a bit of respite from their care for awhile.

Good luck.

Sandy

I wouldn't advise the new caregivers to join here, as they will probably run across the OP's other posts and they discuss negative issues about the siblings in the family.  Her situation is unique enough where they will have no question those are her posts.

jfkoc

I would turn over copies of the most relevant material. They can decide if they need to refer to it. I would also share tips you have found to help your MIL.

I would gift them a copy of the book you found most useful.