New here with questions

Fred10462

My DW, only 68 has short-term memory loss that is pretty significant. I can live with that. In the last 30 days she has become convinced that I moved out of our house of 30 years and have just come back to try to take the house away from her and our sons. We never split up or even spent more than two nights apart over the last 35 years of our marriage. The discussion about what am I doing back here and how and why did I come back is constant and wearing me down. Any thoughts from anyone would be appreciated.

terei

Delusions like this, and many others, are common with dementia.   If she is not diagnosed yet, that should be done.  The are a number of drugs that will help with symptoms.  You may need a geriatric psychiatrist but a geriatric specialist may be able to help.  It probably with not help to ‘explain’ to her why these thoughts are not logical or true.

Take some time to read other posts on this board & you will see similar stories with suggestions for helping with many problems associated with AD and other dementias.

M1

Welcome to the forum Fred. Has your wife been diagnosed with dementia or screened for treatable causes? The delusions you're describing are pretty common but they are also a late stage symptom. You may want to google TAm Cummings'descriptions of the seven stages of dementia, its a helpful framework. As already mentioned, there are medications that can ease the delusions for both of you. Definitely worth letting her doctor know what's going on. Good luck-

1962ART

Hi Fred--Sorry you have to be here, but welcome, as we say on this message board.

All the prior posts are spot on.  A loss of memory is not to be ignored, in my opinion.  There probably are a number of things that could cause this and I am afraid there are few that are reversible.  One comment I have is don't be too concerned about "what you can live with." If your wife does have dementia, you are started on a path that will test every fiber of your being.  (A little hyperbole here for effect.) You will join us all in having to learn to live with quite a bit.

You said yourself your DW has gone from memory loss to delusions. A change in circumstances begins with a visit with her primary care physician.  The PCP will suggest the possibilities for medication and the next steps in term of testing or specialist or both. 

I am the proactive type that feels that knowledge is power.  I feel that with the proper diagnose and medications, I am optimizing my DH's chances at slowing the development of his symptoms. Hope springs eternal!  Others, even in my own household, don't necessarily agree with pursuing a diagnosis, but that's OK.  I have to trust my own judgment and knowledge of my DH.  

I hope this helps.  You will find lots of people on this message board with more knowledge and experience than I have.  I have found them all to be very supportive.

Iris L.

A recent, sudden change can be due to a new medical problem, such as a silent urinary tract infection.  They are called "silent" because they do not exhibit the usual signs of burning or change in urinary habits.  An evaluation by the primary doctor or emergency room doctor may be in order.

Iris L.

Joe C.

Fred, Welcome and sorry you needed to seek out this community. There are a lot of great people here with much experience they are willing to share.

I agree with all the comments above. I would also strongly suggest that you speak to a Certified Elder Law Attorney (CELA) to get your legal and financial house in order, putting  off seeing a CELA can have disastrous impacts down the road. Typically a CELA will give you a free one hour consultation to understand your situation and make recommendations. You will need at a minimum a Durable Power of Attorney, Health Care Proxy, Wills and possibly a trust. Even if you have these documents in place they may need to be updated given your new circumstances. You really need someone who specializes in Elder Law and not just whoever you may have used for other matters in the past. I would even suggest speaking with a couple of CELAs because their fees can vary widely.