Wanting to go home(3)

Jeansdtr

Hello all - my mom has AD and lives with my dad in the house I was raised in. They have lived there for almost 50 years. My mom constantly asks to go home. Sometimes she means her childhood home, but often she means the house they still live in. She doesn’t recognize where she is as her home. My dad (who she no longer recognizes as her husband) looses his patience and gets frustrated by this repeated question. I know this is not an unusual occurrence for people with AD. When I am over I just distract her for the few hours I am there. But my dad hears it all day. What do you all do to help with this situation?

Salsam

I think this is so common.  My mom does this now, and she sort of means the private care home I moved her to after the MC center I had her in for 3 months.  

I had her with me for almost 5 years, and sometimes she was confused then...a few times she was scared and sure it was not her home.. 

I have brought her back to the house to visit, and that is. a lot of work because she cannot walk anymore.   She asks to go "Home" if it gets noisy in our home.  

A friend of mine has the exact situation you describe and I think there is no solution except agree, and distract, just as you are doing.  

Stuck in the middle

I don't have this problem, but others have posted that they take the LO for a drive and return to the same place.  "Here we are!  Home!"

Jeansdtr

Thank you so much for your support

Mike&BrendaTX

Hi,

"Wanting to go home" is a very common request with AD patients.  My wife asked to go home often, so I drove her to everywhere in Texas she ever lived, from Houston to Vernon and many places in between.  We had a great time driving all over Texas, but at each stop, there was no recognition.  Eventually we sat in front of her childhood home without even a flicker of recognition.  I decided that "home" must not be a physical place, but a place in the past where everything was still good, friends were still around, etc. Later I read in a book that "home is not a place, it's a feeling."

That understanding really helped me to deal with the question.  After a while on this sad journey, she eventually stopped asking about "home."

Mike

Arrowhead

For over a year and a half, my wife was obsessed with going “home”, meaning the house that she grew up in. She insisted that her parents were still alive and living there. For most of that time it was all day every day.  I had to be on constant surveillance to keep her from leaving the house and trying to walk there. Taking her for a drive did not help, nor did anything else. She’s no longer obsessed with it, but she does bring it up from time to time. In my wife’s case, it took her over a year and a half for her obsession to run its course. Hopefully, it will leave your mom’s mind eventually, too. Meanwhile, try anything and everything.

mommyandme (m&m)

When my mom mentioned wanting/needing to go home it’s often when she’s tired or overwhelmed by business in the house etc...  

In my experience “home” means she wants the peace and quiet of her bed and bedroom.  I imagine the desired “feeling” of comfort, as mentioned above. 

Carra

My mom has Alzheimers and asks to go home periodically.  

Some tricks that help are try and redirect or change the 

Topic. Also it is very difficult to not get frustrate, but I find the tone of my voice is very important.  I have to try and sound calm and casual. Talk about positive things. Anxiety meds also help her (small dose Xanax)

When all else fails.

Jimbob59

My mom ask me to please call me and tell her son, that's me, to come get her and take her to her home, the one we are in now. She does not recognize me her 63 year old son or her home of 60 years. Sometimes it goes on until the late late show.