New Member(13)

Melanie M

Hello, My father has Dementia & he lives with my brother and his family. My Dad is always mean to their 8 year old daughter. He upsets her. Has anyone dealt with this situation? If so, how can it be handled?

star26

Others here have had this sad situation.  As a child I also experienced abuse from a grandmother that had Alzheimers. I hate to say it but I think you and your brother need to discuss new living arrangements for your Dad, asap. IF this passes, it may not happen for a long time, and well after your niece hates her grandfather, has long term bad memories, and possibly other repercussions of not being able to feel safe and comfortable in her own home. She must be put first in this situation. As you've probably figured out, no type or amount of discussion with your Dad is going to change his behavior. And it's not fair for his granddaughter to have to avoid him in her own home. Sometimes PWD and kids just don't mesh well. I'm sorry. It sucks.

harshedbuzz

I'm sorry your family is dealing with this.

Unfortunately, there are PWD who are annoyed by kids or who "compete" with them for the attention of their caregivers and can target them. This is not a healthy environment for a child. In such a situation, the need for the child's home to be a sanctuary supercedes dad's claim on making a home with an adult child. Other arrangements need to be made- if there's not another family member who can take dad in, a MCF should be sought. 

HB

Cynbar

Please, please put a stop to this situation before that child is traumatized for life. She needs to know that her parents will protect her always. Your father's need to live with one of his children does not come before her. He has dementia, he cannot be reasoned with or probably even explain why he is behaving that way. Find him another living arrangement, ASAP. You'll find plenty of advice here on how to accomplish that, feel free to bring us any questions you have.

Deanna_M

Welcome, Melanie M. 

Yes, my mother was very mean and bossy to my daughter. Thankfully my mom did not live with us, so I was able to insulate my daughter from it. I think that for some with dementia, their filter comes off. In my mother's case, I think that she thought that my daughter was HER daughter and that she could boss her around and criticize her (much like she did to me growing up). I still had my daughter visit her on occasion, but had prepared her for the visits and kept them very short and controlled so my mother did not have time to engage too much.

Your niece should feel safe and loved in her own home. Like others have said, living arrangements should change. 

Melanie M

Thank you for your reply

Melanie M

Thank you for your reply

Melanie M

Thank you for your reply

Melanie M

Thank you for your reply