Men and women as caretakers.

Crushed

 From another thread

  Most of my father's family does this as part of their religion, one of the many branches of Protestant Christianity.  Those men don't refill their own coffee cups.

From my personal experience men of all cultures and religions can  be lazy thoughtless entitled boors. Alzheimer's has given me exposure to a slice of the most caring thougthfull men you can imagine. Some do lack skills but that can be cured.

 

Anyone want the recipe for chicken schnitzel?

   

  

David J

Crushed, we know you to be caring, thoughtful man who did more than the traditional share of “women’s work” for many years before dementia made it necessary. I also was he chief cook and bottle washer around here. Of course, now like all the men on this forum, I also take care of everything else. If I don’t clean it, the house is dirty. If I don’t change the sheets they don’t get changed. If I don’t shop, we go hungry and barefoot. If I don’t make appointments, our healthcare goes unaddressed. I think I appreciated all my wife did for us for so many years, but I have to say it’s really hard. 

Now, about that chicken schnitzel recipe?

LadyTexan

I have no children, I am the youngest sibling in my family of origin. Caregiving was never part of my nature. 

I put my career ahead of cooking and cleaning. I managed my bachelorette life quite well. Even when I married in 2012, I opted for take out, taking advantage of the dry cleaners and using a Roomba robot vacuum.

Beginning in 2016 life morphed when DH started having dementia symptoms. I took on the traditional cooking and cleaning responsibilities, plus home maintenance and auto maintenance, meanwhile our income was slashed when DH could no longer effectively pursue his livelihood.

As a caregiver, we all take on many responsibilities. We learn and we adapt if we are to survive.

YES - I want the schnitzel recipe. I love schnitzel. Send a spaetle recipe too please.

Crushed

Chicken schnitzel is a mess to make so I make a larger quantity and freeze it. 

 I thaw it in the fridge and microwave it. 

Chicken Breasts  trimmed of fat.   2- 5 pounds 

Bread crumbs
Cooking oil (canola or soybean is the best since they have high smoke points

 Meat pounding mallet  (Rubber hammer can be used )

large frying pan with deep sides and a lid (lid is for fire safety)

3 suitable dredging pans with high sides. (dredging is putting the meat into the breadcrumbs or whatever

TONGS  do not use a spatula

plastic bag for pounding meat

Cornstarch, Potato starch or flour   (I Prefer corn starch) 2 cups plus an extra cup  for each pound of meat over 2
Spices to taste  (salt, pepper , mustard powder  are my favorites)

 eggs 1.5 per pound of meat
 
 1) cut chicken breasts in half long way to make thickness just over 1/2 to 3/4 inch
2) put one half breast in plastic bag and use mallet to "flatten it" (This takes practice I leaned in a German restaurant 54 years ago start at the middle and work outwards , goal is 1/4 to 3/8 inch thick  its chicken it will tear, don't worry.  Stack all the breasts on a plate 

3 Set up your dredging bar . a)Break eggs into cup mix and put in middle pan  b) put cornstarch in "first " pan 3) put bread crumbs in "last" pan   have a plate for breaded fillets ready.  
4) Chicken goes first in the cornstarch. get it coated.  Then it goes into the egg.  Egg white is protein and it does not always coat easily.  This is messy.  then into the bread crumbs and on to the plate.   (you can do all of them at this stage or cook and dredge at the same time.)   
 5) pan needs 1/2 inch oil VERY HOT
6) USING TONGS  ease a filet into the hot oil.  Avoid splashing !! generally you can put in two fillets at once  
7) Cook 2 minutes,  and USING TONGS  TURN IT OVER 
2 minutes  each side  MAX. 

you will need to add oil if you do more than two batches. 

put on a covered plate and serve soon or freeze

 (note to Lady Texan.  Im Irish, we do potatoes)

 my salt /garlic roasted potatoes go very nicely 

Doityourselfer

Being a caregiver for my husband for the past 6 years because he can no longer do anything, I know how to remove deck boards and replace them, tune up a lawn mower, use a 2 stage snowblower,  remove wall cabinets from a laundry room, clean and maintain our pool, trim branches using a pole cutter, use a cordless screwdriver and hand held electric saw (my 2 favorite tools), burn wood in the fire pit, paint rooms if I want to change the color.  

I've always cooked and cleaned so that's no problem. Recently built a small round patio which was very easy.  YouTube is a tremendous help.

Crushed

My mother built a sailboat while a teenager.

My wife built the first two computers we had.

I can iron a pleated skirt!!

Beachfan

Hooray for YouTube and my “ big girl” toolbox!  I have threatened my grandkids and son-in-law, “the banker”, with death if they touch the toolbox!  My daughter is allowed to use it; like her mom, she is OCD about putting things away where they were found.

We just “rejuvenated “ the rickety beach cart with WD 40 and some muscle so it can make a few more trips until I can replace it.  

Joe C.

Crushed, Your schnitzel production line sound a lot like my chicken parm setup. Maybe I’ll add schnitzel to my repertoire.

Rennbird

Thank you. Sounds delicious.

Stuck in the middle

Way out of context, Crushed.  My paragraph did not say these men are entitled boors.  They are victims of the gender specific roles demanded of them.  They don't cook or serve food, but there are a lot of things their wives don't do.  The wives aren't entitled boors either.  I was not talking about the guy who made his wife fix the flat tire on the house trailer because it was "housework."

Every culture has men and women who do little or nothing.  This is found even in the few hunter/gatherer societies that still exist.  One place it is not found is the subculture that meets here.  We are, as a group, working two or more jobs even if we are "retired."

My own wife has never done much cooking or shopping.  This is not because I like to cook or am all that good at it.  It is because she hates to cook and shop, and I don't hate it.  I took the job when we divided the chores when we were first married, and she took cleaning and laundry.  Neither of us wanted to do any of that stuff, but someone had to do it, and the goal was to get it done and go have some fun.  

She still does most of the laundry, but has great difficulty using the dryer we bought last winter.  The rest is mine.  The "go out and have fun" has pretty much gone.

Crushed

My experience is that in many cultures men treat women as servants "because in their culture woman are always their servants."  their assigned gender role is "servant".     I can't tell you how many daughters or even daughters-in-law are assigned the role of servant when elderly parents  need help. 
 

• An estimated 66% of caregivers are female. [Updated February 2015] 6, 7
• The average caregiver is a 49 year old woman who works outside the home and provides 20 hours per week of unpaid care to her mother. [Updated 2015] 8
• Although men also provide assistance, female caregivers may spend as much as 50% more time providing care than male caregivers.9
   https://www.caregiver.org/resource/women-and-caregiving-facts-and-figures/