Keeping my grandpa safe during the night

PaigeYM

Hi everyone!

This is my first post, joined a few days ago because I need community. A few nights ago I couldn't stop crying and had to call my doctor's off-hours line because I knew I needed help. My doctor had an emergency phone appt with me yesterday, said there was nothing I could do myself except being apart of a community that understands what I'm going through. It's my second time assisting a LO with Alz but it's my first live-in. 

I love my grandpa so much, he is my father figure, I just want the best for him...He's MS dementia, some days are better than others but that's getting less and less. Last week one of his docs (part of the memory clinic) took away his license, he's been in a mood since then. We (my grandma & I) don't want him to go to a NH because we want him with us but he has the mean dementia... My great-grandma had the happy Alz  and I wish he could as well...

We need to plan the best we can for the future, especially if he wanders from the house at night like my great-aunt did with her ALZ/dementia. I am currently researching indoor sensor alarms for the staircase and I don't know which one(s) to choose especially with being a recent college grad/possibly online grad school starting late this month or early October. The expensive ones don't seem worth it but neither do the inexpensive; he will notice anything on the staircase and I need to be able to disable it during the day/until we sleep. I plan to cover the important parts with tape and spray paint it to match the wall color. Unsure if this tactic will work but he has stated he has wanted to leave and be on his own (he won't be able to survive *cries*). When he talks to his doctors or the medical social worker, he acts like everything is fine and he's happy with life. Sometimes he is so nasty to my grandma and I, saying we don't do anything for him when in reality: we do everything for him including driving him wherever he wants. 

Here is a picture of our yard squirrels, they've brought me (and grandparents) happiness beyond the price of walnuts and almonds  

Sorry for the long post, 

Paige 

loveskitties

Hi,

Are you looking to keep him in his room or just in the house?

After looking into this subject I would recommend that whatever you choose make sure it does not prevent you from being able to get out of the home in a hurry if the need arises.

If the door or doors in question are knob vs. lever, you might try the inexpensive "child knob covers".  This type just requires that the person opening the door have the strength and ability to squeeze it firmly in place over the knob.

If the lever type there were several other items which might work.  One was a mat which could be placed in front of the door.  It is set up to sense pressure on the mat and set off the alarm. Easy enough to remove when not needed or wanted.  Don't know if your LO would figure out to move it.

Another type was one which requires some installation ability which is put at the top of the door.  Unless both piece are engaged, the door still opens.

Another thing mentioned was a GPS minder if you have a smart phone.  I have seen it advertised for animal control, and never thought about it for our LO.  You are able to set up a perimeter of where they are allowed and if they go outside that area you are alerted on your phone.

Good luck with your research.

PaigeYM

Thank you so much for your reply!

We have a GPS watch connected to an eventual phone for him but he doesn't want to wear the watch so we haven't bought the new basic phone yet because he's lost numerous phones: still haven't found his last one while others have been "easier" to find such as in his truck, by his truck, in his papers, etc. Overall the past 2 or 3 years he has never found his lost phones by himself, only with the help of us. He uses the house phone almost daily but his daughter is getting fed up with that because her husband can't get through yet everyone else can. We are unsure if it is actual technical issues or if he is telling her that he is when he hasn't. 

I know about child locks for doors but we don't want that obvious of lock because at times he is his old self while other times he is nothing we have seen before. I am looking for a security item that can notify us by sound when he reaches the stairs yet is camouflaged so he does not feel possibly paranoid if for some reason he is having an old self night (wants ice cream) or is too paranoid from the dementia. Either way can happen. fml. We just want the best for his safety especially since my grandma and her parents had to deal with my great-aunt leaving the house late at night during her dementia/alz days

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Fairyland

I got my mom a Fitbit a few years ago, it was ok at first but  now along with her old watch she continually fiddles and removes and loses both.  I had to charge it for her, when we can find it. Now I’d just ignore it and she wears it on and off without spans charge. I’ve heard of people locking things onto PWDs wrists but then ending up in a crisis when the PWD end up in hospital and can’t remove the items for scans etc.  plus they will probably object. 

Same with the iPhone, she was able to use it a bit for a couple of years but now, no. Phones soon become too difficult for many PWD.

The real issue is her getting scammed several times last year, the landline and cellphone ring incessantly with scammers now.  So, we have removed phones or unplug and answer them when we are there ourselves only.  Relatives kept telling her, don’t talk to scammers, but she simply can’t remember that or any instruction consistently!

You are doing your best for Gramps but he is needing a lot of care and supervision.  It would be a good idea to look into getting him into some kind of senior daycare activity in your area.

Arrowhead

I bought alarms to put on the doors. The sensors can be attached at the top and out of reach. The alarm itself plugs into the wall so it can be unplugged when you don't want it to go off.

tdnp

@fairlyland.

Same thing was happening to my mom.  Spammers would call at all times day and night.  We had to do something different when she tried to call one of the number on TV to "save money on her insurance plan".

We got her a RAZ memory phone.  I thought I found it on this site in the store.  

It only allow them to call 911 and a set number of people that the "admin" places in the phone and those same people are all that are allowed to call in to the phone.  You can also whitelist number so they can call in but your LO cannot call out.  It also has GPS on it. Small clock on the and that is it.  No dial pad to use.

There is also a service that you can place on the 911 call where they will send it to a "dispatch" and try to determine if it is an emergency while contacting up to 3 people to help access the situation.  If warranted they will call emergency services.  We had to use this already when she help down 911 for to long creating a call.

I'm not endorsing the phone at all, this is just what worked well for us. 

PaigeYM

we installed Simplisafe cameras and alarms and motion sensors and use self monitoring.  Again not an endorsement just what worked for us.

Good luck to both.  

Emily 123

Hi Paige,  Love the squirrels!

You say your Grandpa is sweet in front of others.  Is his medical team aware of how he's acting at home or your concerns about wandering?  If they aren't aware of how far he swings to the 'mean' side then it's important to share that with them, so that his medications can be adjusted and he's not taking out his confusion and anger at home on whoever's closest. It could even out his moods and may help with how often he's in 'wandering' mode.

My mom wasn't wandering, but she would let herself out to go for walks while I was on the phone for work--What about something like this?

https://smile.amazon.com/GE-Protection-Installation-Apartment-45115/dp/B00178HMCI/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=door+safety+alarm&qid=1626135597&sr=8-1