what to do about spending money

pottery

My mom is moving to an assisted living place. They know of her lewy body dementia and have a memory care unit when the time comes, they will see how it goes. Which is fine with me she has been stuck in a skilled nursing after a fall for months now, waiting to move.

A few years ago my mom had me do her finances, by POA. There isn't anyway she is capable of doing a debt card or checks, sure she can sign them but it would be a situation of writing checks for anyone that asks.

I may have made a mistake telling her the place has a bus that takes them to do things, like shopping. She is focused now on she doesn't know how to call the bank to see how much money she has. What about checks, and how about a visa debt card for her that works.

Right now she does have a visa debt card, but I ordered a new one that I have, and the one she has is the invalid one.

Only, what if they have a beautician come in, or they take them to get their hair done, or she wants to get a little lunch if they take a bus load of them out. Anyone have ideas on how I could swing this?

The place she is moving is 2 hours away it is the closest one I could find for her with the situation that it is.

Stuck in the middle

My son lives in a RCF and has a patient account maintained by the institution.  The institution uses this to pay for things like haircuts, issues a dollar or two per day for vending machines, and issues cash when they go on outings.  In general, if the bus is going to stop at a restaurant, everyone is going to eat there and residents who don't have money in their accounts to eat with the group don't go on the outing.  Does your LOs facility provide that kind of service?

Quilting brings calm

My parents each have a debit card that is set to a low limit per day.  They both have a credit card tied to a single account that also has a low limit.  I have all the checkbooks. Every so often I will help my dad( no dementia)  get money from his debit card.   You might try getting your mom a limited amount of cash to have on hand for these activities. Those excursions you mention are all scheduled in advance so you could give her a limited amount weekly for what is expected that week.  You could leave a check or two made out to the hairdresser- they usually have published rates so you could even  fill in the amount in advance. 

Talk to the director or office manager. The chaperone on the bus or store trips could supervise her at the cash register if she knows in advance to do so. 

harshedbuzz

Ask the assisted living place.

At dad's MCF, we were able to put cash on his account for incidentals like haircuts and activities like lunch out or when they'd order take out each week. 

Otherwise, you could set her up with a reloadable gift card, but quite frankly, if she's not able to handle bills lunch/tipping is likely beyond her. In a good MCF, the staff manages this on outings.

loveskitties

Here is an interesting article on Forbes regarding elder spending options and safe guards.

The title is Protect the Elderly from Scams.

Apparently there are debit cards where you can even set up where money can be spent and get instant alerts on your phone regarding expenditures.

MN Chickadee

My mother who is in MC doesn't need money for anything. They add hair cuts to the monthly rent/care bill, and people have accounts they can use for outings. When she was well enough to go on outings the activities person handles that, such as buys the tickets when they go to the movies or the pie when they would go to the local coffee shop. Your mom may just need to feel reassured and as if she has some control. If she goes shopping she likely doesn't need to buy much. Maybe leave some cash in her wallet so she feels like she won't get stuck without money even if she is unlikely to need it. I would ask the facility exactly what might cause her to need money. Maybe leave a bank statement for her to feel like she knows what is going on, and tell her to refer to it when she asks. You are right to leave her with no access to the funds, they can disappear in a heartbeat if you aren't careful and dementia is involved.

Rescue mom

At facilities where my mother stayed, I could set up accounts for most extra personal services such as hair, manicure, etc. 

She always had maybe $20-$30 (never more than we could lose) on her for things like dollar store, drugstore (not Rx, just incidentals), restaurant visits.  They did a lot of restaurant outings, but usually inexpensive places that $20 would cover. If there was a special outing to one more expensive, we could pay in advance. The facility *always* handled the bills/charging, and collected in advance for those.

“Big” shopping that might involve pricier purchases, was basically up to the family, as far as I could see.

Maybe you could ask the place about setting up an account, or how they will work with you on this. She probably, from what you say, really should not have big amounts of cash,  or any kind of card that allows much. They have so many ways to lose money, so fast.