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Getting worse(1)

Buggsroo
Buggsroo Member Posts: 574
500 Comments 100 Care Reactions Third Anniversary 5 Insightfuls Reactions
Member
My husband has not been taking a shower but has been shaving. Today I stayed with him and I had to talk him through taking a shower. I feel sad for him because in his former life, he was very clean and was horrified if I didn’t shower daily. 
He also asks when he will be getting his lunch and he has just eaten. I see his descent into this disease and before I was angry, now I am just sad. The good thing is that he is cheerful so I am thankful for that.
Reading all your posts is preparing me for what is ahead. I can still go out and leave him for a few hours. I am thankful for this forum, I check it everyday and it shores me up. Thank you all.

Comments

  • Paris20
    Paris20 Member Posts: 502
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Likes 5 Care Reactions
    Member
    Buggsroo, I feel the same way about this forum. I now come here daily. The support and the guidance are priceless. I’ve learned that some of the really odd behaviors my husband exhibits, e.g., not knowing what a common sound is or having separation anxiety if I just leave the room, are common symptoms. Since wandering is one of those symptoms, be on the lookout for that behavior. I stopped leaving my husband alone at home last year, even though he doesn’t wander. The trouble is you never know if or when a potentially dangerous behavior will appear.
  • JoseyWales
    JoseyWales Member Posts: 621
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Comments 100 Care Reactions 25 Likes
    Member

    I'm sorry that you're seeing that decline. It is so hard to take those steps into helping with the personal hygiene. 

    This forum has been so helpful to me. While nothing is "normal", it does help me know that some behaviors are common with those with dementia. And as each new behavior happens, I can think about how it happened to someone here and have an idea of how to handle it.

    Like that big pile of poop on the floor the other day. The old me would have been horrified. The new me just realized that it was bound to happen one day, and I calmly cleaned it up.

  • Buggsroo
    Buggsroo Member Posts: 574
    500 Comments 100 Care Reactions Third Anniversary 5 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member
    Thank you both for your input. I guess I am starting to accept what is happening but it is very sad. I miss the wickedly funny man I married, the man who could make me sob with laughter. I made his dinner tonight and served it to him on the deck. I thought we would chat like we used to. I realized he couldn’t even hold a simple conversation. I told him that if he wanted to go and watch TV if he wanted, he seemed really relieved. Sad, sad, sad but reality.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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