Release From This Alzheimer’s Prison

Sjodry

I have prayed and pleaded with God to release my mom and me from this Alzheimer’s prison we have been in for 3.5 years. My husband  and I own a business which allowed me the ability to leave our company and be a FT caregiver to my mom. I feel grateful and blessed to have had the honor to care for her. While we have had many terrible, high blood pressure inducing days on this journey, we have also shared some wonderful days and moments.

My mom fell a week ago on Sunday and broke her hip and pelvis. She made it through surgery, but has started the active dying process. As I sit by her side consumed with watching her breathing patterns wondering when the last breath will happen, I can’t help but to wonder who I am anymore. I suppose that goes with this journey. I will discover a new me when I am again able to breathe without fear.

I have a very strong faith and am focused on the joy-filled family reunion my mom is about to share with her husband (my step-father) and the rest of our family in spirit. I will survive her transition to Heaven as I have survived all of the difficult days of this journey. God equips us with that ability even when we don’t believe we can keep going.

I am grateful for all of the help, information and support that I have received from this site and all of you. We all need the ability to reach out to someone (or many) who “get it” and are living the same experience. Compassion has been a big part of this journey. I have learned to have more compassion for my mom and for others. I think I can honestly say that the many lessons of sharing this path with my mom, has been life-changing.

So again, thanks to all you. Keep sharing your light and love to those you are caring for. It is truly a sacrificial love! There is no greater gift than what you are doing!

Sandy

loveskitties

Sandy,

You have been a strong woman and loving daughter during this journey.

May your faith bring you comfort as you deal with the final days.

Jenflex

God bless you in this time of new grief and active loss. Thank you for being part of this community.  Know you, your mother, and the rest of your family are being lifted up in care and prayer by so many.

abc123

Dear Sandy, we are all thinking of you today. You are in my prayers. It’s wonderful to know you are a woman of faith. My faith has carried me through countless losses. My prayer for you is that your dear mother will pass peacefully.

dayn2nite2

You have my prayers for a peaceful passing for her and release from this suffering.

abc123

Hi Sandy, I'm just checking in on you. I hope you are okay today. Please let us hear from you when you have a moment.

Sjodry

Aww, thank you. I am still here and so is my mom. As the hospital quickly tries to release patients as soon as possible, the hospital social worker sent out multiple referrals to several skilled nursing facilities. Mom was no longer appropriate to go back to the memory care unit in which she was living.

I don’t know about what many of you might be dealing with in the skilled facility your loved one is in, but my mom has been on the receiving end of some pretty sub-standard care at multiple facilities. The thought of having to move her for the 4th time to another “unknown” facility filled me with fear. Because mom is on hospice, I am considered a “ compassionate caregiver”. We searched and searched for a snf that had a private room so my visitation would not be limited. Almost every facility the social worker checked with..had no rooms either private or semi-private. Finally, one facility responded and had only a semi-private room that currently had no one in it. We took it as we had no other options. What an amazing and unexpected surprise and blessing! The staff (in every role they fulfill) have been the most kind, caring and compassionate staff I have ever had the pleasure to work with.

Of course I am incredibly emotional and cry over everything! They bring pain meds on time, I cry. If they say a kind word, I cry. I am putting in some long hours and the staff knows I rarely leave..they brought me a tray with snacks & drinks..yes I cried (and sent a picture to my husband). It is so refreshing to be able to just have quality time with my mom until she passes, instead of worrying about facility issues. They even told me that they will not be putting anyone else in the next bed..and yes, I cried!

But on a funny note..the hospice nurse and another nurse came in this a.m. to try to give mom some pudding with (Senna) mashed in it. My mom refused to open her mouth and clamped her teeth onto the end of the spoon. Finally, the nurse pried the spoon out of her mouth and started to try to adjust the pudding on the spoon. My mom suddenly stuck her tongue out at the nurse and gave it a little Mick Jagger wag before bursting into laughter! My little southern belle mama will decide when she’s ready to leave!

Take care!

Sandy