In the blink of an eye...
We all know how fast our PWD LOs can get into mischief, or have a brain shift in what seems like a split second. What are some of your (hopefully harmless) adventures?
- DH got up from the sofa about an hour ago, headed for bed. Not 5 minutes later, he was back, dressed in a long sleeved shirt, briefcase in hand. Says his wife is picking him up to go...?
- I started typing this post and he’s back from the bedroom again, pre-teen’s vintage swim jacket on over everything else (?) (I don’t know what’s going on here). Watching & waiting.
- He poured a big mug of blue mouthwash recently, & was about to guzzle it
- cranberry juice in the cold cereal
- out the door, down the stairs & disappeared before I could lock up. Spotted him in the next block- just that fast (!)
- flushed cough drop wrappers and banana peels (or tried to). Clogged the toilet!
- flooded the kitchen with bubbles galore. Dish liquid in the dishwasher
There’s more. But I’d rather see your lists (and maybe avert some trouble here!)
Comments
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Omigosh, ButterflyWings, those are really some antics!
In the past week my mom has...
Called the police to report that her purse was stolen. Her purse was at her feet the whole time.
Tossed out food, cans of soda and a bottle of mouthwash because she could not identify what they were.
Tossed out the white board because she didn't like the reminders I was writing on it.
Removed all the crystal chandelier-style dangles from her favorite lamp. She did not know why but was very upset that they were on the table.
Was walking around on a 90-degree day bundled in ski sweaters and sweat pants.
Accused the AL cleaning gal of stealing her incontinence pads and 10-year-old used nubby lipsticks.
Thank you for starting this thread! It's the first time I've laughed in a week.
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Some of our weekly items:
"Cleaned" the glass coffee table with laundry detergent (Greased Lightning)
Broke the pump off of a (newly full) 100-gallon gasoline tank, now there's over $300 worth of gas in there with no way to get it out and nothing to transfer it into
Put unleaded gas in the diesel tractor
It's like funhouse mirrors around here. Glad to have a place/thread to document. Otherwise it seems like constant complaining!!
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Brought tulips for Mother's Day to the facility, put them in vase. Turned to start putting some laundry away and when I looked at my mother there was a petal hanging out of her mouth. No more flowers!0
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Great topic!!
Dad's latest is trying to use the TV remote as a phone...asking me why he can't find his GF's phone number in it.
If you ever saw the Star Trek movie where they bring the whales back from the 20th century, imagine the scene with Scotty talking into the Mac computer mouse and that's sort of what Dad's face looks like. Worth a giggle!
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MsReliable wrote:I've done that one myself, but I figured it out on my own. :=)
Dad's latest is trying to use the TV remote as a phone.
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Wow, BW and the rest of you folks; you have your hand full. My husband is late stage 6 and has more or less "behaved". (He has put liquid hand soap on his toothbrush but that is tame compared to your stories.) However this past winter, he kept asking me when the weather would be warm enough so that he could go swimming in the 20 meter pool located in our garage. And he talked about wanting to talk to the lifeguard (in the lifeguard shack in our backyard) about getting a swimsuit and googles. This went on for 2 or 3 weeks.
P.S. Don't have a pool; never have had a pool in our yard.
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In the midst of all this, I have to tell a "funny" on myself.
Years ago I lived in FL and it was not unusual to have storms take out the power for a while.
One time, I decided that it would be a good time to vac the house while I had nothing else to do! Imagine how I felt when the vac didn't work...lol.
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Mom has a thing about not shutting doors all the way. She went to sit on the swing on our screened porch. Told her to shut the door. She didn't. So I shut it. She got so mad. Came in right away. Went to her room, turned on her radio and cranked it up. Colin Ray's "Love Me" was on so she sang along with a lyric modification. "If you get there before I do, I've got a message for you....I AIN'T EVER GOING ON THE PORCH EVER AGAIN!!!"0
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Gave her the nail brush that is needed after she uses the bathroom. I turned my back and she tried to brush her teeth with it. I shrieked.
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He’s playing with his food. At breakfast he had a plate of scrambled eggs, a bowl of watermelon chunks, and a small dish of blackberries; all his favorites. Then he starts moving the watermelon to the scrambled eggs and then back to the bowl. Next moves some egg into the blackberries. Green eggs and ham pales in comparison to his masterpiece of a breakfast plate.
Grocery shopping. He’s “helping” [NOT] push the cart. As usual, I place two cartons of eggs in the kiddy seat. A few aisles later when my back is turned, he presses down on the eggs with his full body weight. Why?, oh lord, Why? Curbside pickup from now on.
Trying to unbuckle his seat belt, he, instead, unbuckles mine — while I’m driving.
Has a thing for dish towels. I find them everywhere but in the kitchen. Really enjoys wringing out a dry towel.
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Speaking of Remotes. When my DH was in MC he got his TV remote mixed up with the recliner remote. A few times when the aides came into his room they finally figured out why he was sitting on the floor in front of his recliner. I am so thankful he never got hurt. The chair remote was removed.0
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Before she left for Sib #1s house, MIL had:
put salsa & shredded cheese on a Mediterranean Wrap (because it had a tortilla!)
Put poopy underwear under her pillow
Put on jeans, a long sleeve shirt and a middle weight jacket on a 90 degree day to go for a walk...then said she'd change and came downstairs with a lighter jacket (just in case she got cold)
tried to shut off her computer to stop the music that was playing from her cell phone
couldn't find her cell phone so I watched her take mine, put it in her back pocket and then located hers and started using it...all the while insisting that she didn't have mine (DH turned on my phone tracker which made the phone vibrate and make a loud noise so she then 'found' my phone in her pocket
said she was going upstairs to take a shower only to come down more than an hour later in the same clothes she had been wearing to get her "first" cup of coffee because she just woke up
Fixed herself some breakfast, ate it, then 20 minutes later said she was hungry and went and got herself a bowl of cereal.
Told my daughter that she 'knew' my daughter was stealing from her because her silver coins were missing and then told my daughter not to tell me or DH what she was accusing our daughter of doing.
Told DH that she wanted to go visit her sister because her sister (who is 90) was going to have back surgery and needed MIL to take care of her. DH said he would call said sister. Next morning, MIL was packed & ready to go because DH had said he was going to take her to her sister's house.
After looking at this list I'm happy that she's been relocated for a bit.
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Wow is all I can say. Who knew, right?
The stereotype of dementia as just 'forgetfulness' is so far off. These examples remind me how important it is to keep line of sight at all times, as much as possible. I have become a master of the super-quick shower & bathroom break (for me). But I still worry about what could happen while I'm asleep.
Adding a couple more of our experiences...- I found the missing bag of groceries. Two weeks later. Under the porch. While I was unloading all the rest, he must have made a pit-stop to take a leak under there. And left his only bag. The bananas and kale didn't make it.
- Speaking of pit-stops, we pulled into a rest area/welcome center on a drive last summer. By the time I got out DH seemed to be admiring the flag or flag pole. On closer look, he had decided to take a leak right out front, broad daylight, in plain view (!) So glad not many people were traveling that day, and the attendant didn't notice. It possibly is an arrest-worthy offense. (Geez!).
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Dad: 0
Laws of Physics: 2
Dad is in a foul mood. Something about me swindling him out of $350K. He is semi-reclined on the sofa with his head resting on some throw pillows against the arm of the piece. He demands a forbidden glass of wine as a show of autonomy. Mother produces a glass and he instructs her to put it on the end table next to her. She tries to assist him to sit up, but he refuses. He reaches behind his back for the glass and brings it in an arc over his head tipping the contends onto his face.
He immediately demanded a refill. Rinse and repeat.
Other antics included:
Disconnecting the wires and cables to the TV and Cable set up "because everything is wireless these days".
Insisting on being in possession of all phones and remotes at all times the trying to answer the remote to the ceiling fan, change channels with his flip phone and accuse people of stealing the remote that his in his hand.
HB
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Mom's kitchen cabinets were jammed with styrofoam and plastic to go containers. Whatever you do, DO NOT attempt to throw away.
Took her to lunch one day and it was raining. Got to the restaurant and they said they do not seat indoors, only outdoors (Covid) even though the website said they did. So drove through some fast food place to take food home. When we got home the front door was locked and I asked if she had a key and she said no! Time to hide a key.
Clipping her fingernails at the kitchen counter and she picked one of the clippings up and tossed it into a bowl of trail mix. Mmmmmmm.
Sitting with her one day on the sofa and out of the blue she says to me, "I still like you." Of course I replied, "I like you too Mom."
In MCF, she filled the toilet to the brim with all of the paper towels in her bathroom, not once but twice. Her paper towel container no longer gets filled.
One day I gave mom a bath, dried her off, and went to rub lotion on her and when it wasn't rubbing in, I realized I had just slathered her arms in body wash! Back in the water.
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Oh my goodness, why haven't we done this before?
My Dad had dementia prior to Mom, he passed away in 2015. When he was still at home my Mom called me absolutely livid as while she was in the bathroom he had taken it into his own hands to make himself some peanut butter toast. Problem was that although he toasted the bread correctly he ended up smearing peanut butter all over the toaster instead. Man she was mad, I immediately brought her a new toaster.
I also witnessed my Dad put a pair of gloves on his feet and walk confidently down the hallway with each toe perfectly pressed into the fingers of the gloves. I was speechless.
Mom is stage 6 now and we have had many adventures but the one thing that has lingered on during much of the mid to late progression is an absolute obsession with toilet paper. We find it balled up all over the house in the weirdest spots. I think I will find it for years.
Another funny story is one day my son was coming over to borrow $100 from us. We had the money sitting out and stepped out of the room for a sec, when we returned it was gone however it looked like Mom never moved and we only had stepped through the doorway so we didn't suspect her at first. After absolutely ripping this house apart, getting him another $100 bill and being entirely stumped my husband said to me "did you check her pants?" so I took her to the toilet and made a point of checking her crotch area out and sure enough - bingo. Since then I have found a missing remote control and a fiber bar in the same spot. We call her klepto annie but weird how it is shoved there instead of in the pocket.
I just wish I could laugh WITH my Mom about it all.....Love to you all!
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Here's a sweet/funny one to make you laugh: because it was a hot day, my animal-loving partner put out a bowl of water for the ducks to drink. We have a two-acre farm pond right down the hill....!!!0
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I am so grateful to hear your escapades. I get so angry sometimes. I forget to laugh. I know it's the disease but it is such a challenge when there is NO logic in it. I had a dehydrator filled with herbs from the garden. My dad emptied all four trays in the trash and put them back. No recollection of the event.0
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The user and all related content has been deleted.0
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Same as others have said... has used TV remote as the phone. Also picked up a flashlight and tried to use that as a phone.
Has started to put pillow cases where they used to hang hand towels in the kitchen and bathroom. Also, I have seen napkins and kleenex on the kitchen cabinet handles where kitchen towels used to be.
We think she threw away her iPad because we can't find it anywhere.
She's thrown away two ID bracelets that we gave her. She insists she wants another. I've spent the $70 on a third because I think it's ultimately worth the safety if she goes for a walk alone (which she rarely does), but I'm thinking she'll end up getting annoyed with it and throwing it away again.
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We bring a portable phone into the living room at night when watching TV so we don't have to get up if it rings. We have BOTH occasionally tried to turn the TV off with the phone. But my partner also tries to open the garage door with the driveway gate openers, and vice versa. So far I haven't made that mistake.0
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Gotta add one more:
MIL hung panties on a clothes hanger like she would a shirt. Not sure why, but daughter & I got a chuckle out of it.
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My mom has a no-dial phone, and she keeps "calling" the police pressing the nonexistent buttons. When I call her she places the handset in front of her like if she's using the speakerphone of a smart phone, and then she complains that she can't hear me. (I can't hear her either!)0
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You are not mistaken when you say in the blink of an eye. My father has been on a mission to get out of the house. One minute he is on the couch watching TV the next he is out the door going for a walk. Luckily we live in a small community with great neighbors that aware of his diagnosis. I have recently added locks to the top of any doors leading to the exterior of the house. It can be so scary in that moment you turn around and they are not where you last saw them.0
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John Teets, you are so right! Some of these things are extremely scary! But I have to admit that a lot of these post made me literally made me laugh very loudly! I needed to laugh in the worst way! Thank you everyone who shared a funny here.0
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Yeah, it helps to laugh, thanks everyone. The other day my mom brought me into the bathroom. Told me she needed to show me something "down there." I braced myself, but she proceeded to show me a pantyliner on her underwear and asked me if she could use a safety pin (didn't know the word for it, of course)... and took out a pin and started to use it... to hold the pantyliner on her underwear! I tried to explain how dangerous a pin down there could be. Seemed she understood the word "danger" and took it seriously. Fingers crossed.
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I was staying with a friend with AD while his wife had a Saturday morning off, and he got away from me. Pretty scary, until I found him sitting in a car in the driveway across the street. It looked like his wife's car and he was waiting for her to come out.0
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This is my first time posting. I usually come here when I've had a rough day with my mom. She has moderate stage AD, and my husband, daughter and I have moved in with her to take care of her and make sure she isn't alone.
Some things that Ive found her doing are:
Trying to fill the broken washing machine soap dispenser with fabric softener, followed by dishwasher soap.
Putting tide pods in the dryer and then wondering why it's so warm later.
She loses her glasses constantly. I opened the freezer one day and found her frozen glasses sitting there. (We are on the 4th pair of glasses)
Im frequently urging my mom not to feed her dog her food, but he follows her around while staring at her. So I can see sometimes out of the corner of my eye that she's about to give him something, but she looks at me first to see if I'm watching.
When we first moved in we found out that she gets cold really fast and likes to put the heater on when its 95 degrees outside.
She will say that shes taking something to the trash bin outside, and then if it takes longer than it should i go to check on her and find that she is reorganizing the bin because she thinks someone had thrown recyclable items in the trash.
I often find an open jar of peanut butter her bathroom with a fork sticking out.
Its been nice to see that my mom isn't the only one doing these odd things. I get so jaded when she is stubborn or acts out of character. It throws me into depression about how much worse it can get. But reading your guys' experiences has helped a lot.
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My wife of 44 years was walking in and out of the front door for quite some time. Once she came in and we had the following conversation:
Her: I can't find him.
Me: Who can't you find.
Her: Your husband.
Me: My husband?
Her: Yes, your husband.
Me: I'm not Gay.
Her: You're not?"
I got a good laugh out of it.
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Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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