Blames me for moving his stuff

Wilted

He blames me for moving things around in his shop or on his desk, not remembering that he had moved the items himself.  He gets so upset thinking that I would meddle with his things without talking to him about it first, that he threatens to move into his RV on his vacant property  (that has no utilities).

Denying I moved his things only upsets him. What's the best way to handle this? 

He can be cross with me for days, or later in the day he will be back to his fun-loving self.

Crushed

ignore and divert

David J

“I’m sorry your stuff got moved.  I’ll try to keep it from happening again”

June45

And to add what David J said, "I can understand why it upsets you when your things get moved" and so on.

bt wilson

A classic ALZ recommended response. Doesn't work, I am again accused of hiding or moving her things.

Wilted

I doubt those responses will work for him either. He's highly intelligent. He just has some wires crossed here and there. It's worth a shot. I'll give it a try.

My grandmother had a ccouple wires crossed too. Her mind worked fine - no dimentia - except she was sure I had stolen some of my flowering plants from the church. 

Lynne D

The point to not contradict was driven home when my HWD believed day was night. He turned all of the lights on in the house and wandered aimlessly. Quite strong visual cues, like the sun in the eastern sky, could not convince him. I would not admit to moving his things, but acknowledge his distress.

Buggsroo

My husband comes down stairs and turns up the heat. He doesn’t understand how the a/c works.

I wake up to a house that is stifling hot in the summer. The cats are all flaked out in the basement. I foolishly have tried to explain how the a/c works and tell him that he puts up the heat. He denies it every time. I am very frustrated but they say it feels really good to stop banging your head against the wall. So I just have to swallow my frustration and upset.

No use arguing, I am slowly learning this. I will try deflection next.

HSW

My DH would not give up searching for item he lost and since he hid items all over the house it was a really bad time for us. it didn't stop until I starting working upstairs and could find the item before he had a meltdown.

Wilted

Lynne D wrote:

The point to not contradict

I would not admit to moving his things, but acknowledge his distress.

Thank you Lynne. This helps.

bt wilson

An easy fix is to find a way to turn off the thermostat, might ask a heat/air tech to install another in a hidden place that you can use.  Then hubby can change the one on the wall,  but it won't actually change anything.

Grandx7

You have my sympathies.  I also am blamed for any and all things that aren't as he feels they should be.  It has been this way for about 10 years - received a diagnosis 2 years ago that helped answer lots of questions.  I still have difficulties not taking it personally, but redirecting helps occasionally.

Wilted

Update:

Things have improved tremendously after removing milk products from his diet.

He would get irritable, difficult and very confused. 

I was about ready to send him home to his kids. 

He's been back to his easy-going self, after the change in his diet. 

He still loses names of things and I have to figure out what he's trying to say but he's back to being in good spirits and a whole lot less confused.

Pat6177

I’ve been reading this forum for several months now, hoping that I would remember the specific suggestions when my DH got to new stages. Well, the last couple of days DH has been asking me where a particular black wire basket with a handle was moved to. Huh? He says it was on his bedside table forever and he put bills etc in there. I have no memory of this at all. I thought it might be a wire napkin holder so when he brought it up again today, we found that in the garage but that wasn’t it. He is adamant that it was there and I did something with it. Since I had recently read this thread (thank you so much for all of you that contributed here!), I remembered (belatedly) not to deny. I did hedge on saying I remember it cuz I don’t. Up till now, whatever he was looking for was something that existed. I don’t think this basket he is looking for exists. I’m hoping he will forget about it. But the real difficult thing is that it’s a new symptom showing the relentless progression of this disease. Sad, sad, sad. I don’t think it’s related to his milk consumption since that hasn’t changed in years.