Travel Recommendations

Gthoma

Looking for advice from anyone with similar experiences. DW is 72, diagnosed with MCI. Still somewhat mobile and able to recognize friends and family, although this morning she did ask me my name. We're planning a 1,500 mile trip by car to see her family while she can still do it. I'm willing but think the car ride will be difficult. Any recommendations for keeping the ride peaceful and helping pass the time?

JDancer

My DH with mid stage dementia and I recently took a 12 hour vacation drive. On the way there, he was unable to eject the CDs every 40 minutes without prompting. On the way back, he could do it on his own. I concluded that the trip away from home was more stressful than the trip home, although there were not a lot of other indications.

I found constant reorientation helpful and necessary. I did it as a conversation and tried to keep my tone light and pleasant. "We'll be passing Louisville soon. I had such a nice time there on my birthday..."

The trip was confusing for my DH, but I think he enjoyed it.

Bon Voyage!

M1

I took my partner to the Grand Canyon two years ago when she was probably stage 3 and was age 78.  There was a lot of driving (flew to Phoenix, drove to the North Rim, then drove through southern Utah and over to Las Vegas, flew home from there) and she tolerated the rides just fine.  She was pissed that people in the airports asked if she needed a wheelchair (it was very funny!).  I didn't let her drive, with the excuse that her name wasn't on the rental car agreement (true).  If your wife still drives at home, I certainly wouldn't let her in unfamiliar territory.

The only problem we had was medication mixups when she wasn't sure what she'd taken a couple of nights.  The hotels/etc. weren't a problem, so if you wife is still truly MCI, I would suspect she'll do fine.  If she really is starting not to remember you, that's a different story.  You may want to double check where you really think she is stage-wise.

Shortly after getting home from the Grand Canyon we had an unexpected opportunity to go to her sixtieth high school reunion in East Texas, and made that trip also on very short notice.  She had a blast and we were able to stay with her sister, so accommodations weren't an issue.

My partner remembers nothing of either trip now (two years later, easing her way into stage 5).  And I wouldn't do it now, either one. 

Joe C.

I travel quite a bit with DW when she was in the early stages of AD and I am very happy I did while she could still enjoy ourselves. We had several long road trips from Massachusetts to Florida and my advice would be to break your trip up based on how much time you think you wife can do in the car, I shot for about 8 hours drive time per day. At this point in DW progression she could still use restrooms without assistance but would forget to wash her hands or zip/button up her pants, so I would wait right outside the restroom with hand wipes and to make sure was properly zipped up. I always had her favorite music on in the car which help keep her occupied. I could never do these trips today so I recommend doing it while you can.

60 falcon

DW and I used to take one or two long road trips a year.  I learned the hard way to always walk with her to the bathrooms and stand right outside and wait (she was still able to do her business by herself).  We found that busy rest stops and bathrooms confused her.  We also learned that some restrooms with lots of mirrors also confused her.  I agree that her favorite music is a great idea.  DW at that time also liked audiobooks so we got a few from the library to take along.  We used to used to drive about 10-12 hours a day, but settled on 8 hour days with more frequent stops.  Wrist bands for both of us with contact numbers and identifying me as her full-time caregiver, and hers saying she has Alzheimer's give me a little piece of mind in case something happened to one of us.  When staying in motels, I preferred one on the ground floor and near an exit since I was the one to carry whatever luggage we needed.  I also learned to be flexible and be willing and ready to leave our destination early if/when she became frustrated and agitated... It was just easier to leave than to try and deal with the drama.

Travel now while you can still do it. 

Stuck in the middle

A traveling salesman friend always packed one day at a time.  When he went into his hotel room, he had one clean outfit in a small bag plus his kit bag (razor, meds, etc.)  Next morning, dirty outfit in the bag, clean outfit on his back.  Beat the heck out of toting heavy suitcases.  

Our car has the Sirius XM satellite radio.  Set it on Channel 75 (Elvis) and she's good to go.

Stuck in the middle

I like to have the car inspected by a trusted mechanic before a road trip.  Spending three days in Flat Wallet, GA waiting for a part takes the joy out of the trip.

sandwichone123

I just got back from a road trip with dh. He was a really good traveling companion because the scenery completely held his attention--he didn't read or sleep so provided companionship and kept me from getting sleepy while driving. This was the first time I've done all the driving, and it was less tiring than I'd expected.

mariawotters

The car must inspected by a trusted mechanic before a road trip.

jjuliajul11

Helo. My mother and I rarely went on long trips. Usually I chose plane tickets. I often used priceline agency and he helped me with that. I also download my mom's favorite songs and audiobooks to make it more fun to fly. One day we couldn't fly on vacation because my mother needed to go to the hospital  and I found priceline phone number (https://priceline.pissedconsumer.com/customer-service.html) who helped return the money. Book tickets only from trusted agencies so that you can apply in any situation.

Lynne D

Concert in the car! Play songs from his teen years. Keep him hydrated. Hotels work for us; staying at others' houses just confuses my HWD.

Gig Harbor

That is a long trip. My husband still wants to travel but within an hour of going someplace he has no recollection of anything that went on. I have decided that the amount of stress and work for me is too much since he won’t remember anything. Good luck.

Rescue mom

My bad trips with DH were when he was further along than yours. I’d just advise—since the name issue—being sure she has a lot of ID and info on her, and watch her carefully in motels, restrooms and any new places. 

My DH became even more agitated and stressed, and lost abilities,  in new surroundings.  I thought he would function as he did at home. I was wrong, but that does not happen to everyone.

Having a card to hand out, saying something like “thank you for your patience, my partner has…(Alzheimer’s/dementia/whatever)” was also useful. Everyone was understanding and helpful if they knew, otherwise he was just the guy causing problems.

As others said, I could not do it now, especially alone. Go while you can!

Paris20

Gthoma, I echo the recommendations you’ve received here. I traveled with DH in late July. The change in surroundings definitely made him more confused…and more incontinent. Even though we visited family, DH  couldn’t orient himself at all. He’s at the AD midpoint, or a bit further, but he still knows everybody in the family and could name them all when we visited. 

I’d be especially careful at rest stops. Don’t leave your partner alone at any time. Stand outside the rest room if need be. I was amazed by how disconcerting a change, any change, in the environment can be. From reading these posts over time, I’ve come to believe that many doctors initially under-diagnose the level of patients’ impairment, sometimes because it’s such bad news. It took a few years until my husband’s neurologist actually made specific reference to AD. MCI is vague and unhelpful so be extra aware of your partner’s behavior when you’re away from home.

Rescue mom

My biggest travel problem with DH was that I was so totally surprised by how badly he functioned in a “new” place, compared to how he functioned at home. So many basic things he did without help at home—toilet, put on clothes, feed himself from a plate, etc—all became impossible.

 I should have expected it, or should have known it often happens, but somehow I just didn’t. Maybe because I wanted to go, and he loved it before Alzheimer’s. It just never occurred to me how badly he would react in different surroundings. Not doing bad things, but unable to do *anything* and unhappy/agitated about everything.

Many people do NOT have this happen to their LO. It does not happen to everybody. Many here have had successful trips.

But if I had known in advance that it *sometimes* happens,  I think I could have planned better, handled it better. It was emotionally shocking, and physically exhausting.

French

My partner sleeps all the time in car so that my only issue is that I am alone. But even when he doesn’t sleep, he didn’t speak a lot neither understand everything I can say… so also alone.

Today we came back from Tunisia by plane (between 2 and 3 hours). He was sleeping. What was difficult was to go through security checks with him. Next time I will ask for the airport assistance. 

sunshine5

Wrist bands is a great idea. 

Would u care to share more information, how to get them, for LO and caregiver?

Thanks