Female hygiene

60 falcon

 Sorry for this kind of question. Ok, so how do I go about getting DW clean down below when she's had a nasty mess in her Depends.  With the female anatomy being the way it is, I'm pretty sure some of the nastiness is probably getting in there.  I realize a shower will clean the best, and I do that when I can. But when showering isn't an option, wiping just doesn't seem adequate.  We only had boys and I've cleaned my share of messes on them, but cleaning these kind of messes on a female is a whole new thing for me. She's no little baby/kid and I sure can't maneuver her like one of them.  I've heard wipe from behind, but when the mess is kind of everywhere...?  Am I over thinking this. Not only do I want her clean, I want to minimize the risk of UTIs.  I'm thinking showing is the only real solution.

She's not fecal incontinent, but these accidents are becoming more frequent.  Now that I've typed this out and reread it, it feels like a dumb question, but asking anyway.

Buggsroo

Hi 60falcon,

Good for you for asking. I think you might use a washcloth in warm water and wash down there. Just tell her you are helping her. I know from my own experience that if I can’t take a shower, I fill the sink with warm water and use a little baby soap to wash the area. It feels nice to be clean. Oh yes, women do wipe differently than men, exactly to prevent uti infections. I hope this helps.

star26

In addition to only wiping from front to back, and wet cloths, it might help to have a bidet attachment that sprays both front and back. They make versions that have an extra front spray for women. Another option is a handheld bidet attachment on the toilet, similar to what's in the shower. I've never tried the handheld version so I'm not sure how well it would work with a second person involved. The bidet is easier on her skin as well. There are also spray cleansers that do a great job of dissolving and cleaning up feces, better than regular soap and water. I like "Smith & Nephew Secura Personal Cleanser". 

JJAz

Bless you for the care that you are providing to your wife.  Look at bidets on Amazon that you can use to replace your toilet seat.  Some of them have remote controls so that you can activate them from across the room.  They have their own water heaters and do an amazing job for this type of problem.  Easily under $100 and much easier than wash cloths as long as she's mobile.

Crushed

We always had "telephone showers" and the best cheap item I ever bought was an extra long shower hose.  it made cleaning DW a snap

Our redesigned bathroom had a roll-in shower and a fully drained floor so I could  reach the toilet with the shower head.

NOT PUSHING AMAZON but just for illustration  
 

https://www.amazon.com/PHASAT-Stainless-Showerhead-Replacement-A3107N-3-5/dp/B071K43P7B/ref=sr_1_5?dchild=1&keywords=extra+long+shower+hose+for+handheld+shower&qid=1627644055&sr=8-5

LadyTexan

Good Morning 60Falcon.

Its a good question and I am glad you asked it. I struggled with cleaning my husband because his anatomy is different than mine. Your question reminded me that we all are on a continuous learning path. I am not a naturally gifted caregiver. I rely on the generosity and wisdom of all of you to find my way on this unpredictable journey.

I would like to reiterate what others have said.

1. Please remember to wipe from the front to back.
2. Although DH has rejected the bidet toilet seat that I had installed. It works well for me. I feel refreshed and clean when I use it.
3. A shower is the most refreshing clean for DH but is not always practical.

Again, thank you for asking. It is not a dumb question. It is a very important question.

Ed1937

Falcon, this is something I face at times too. But luckily, we have a shower next to the toilet, and I can get her in there, and using a hand held shower head, rinse the area well, then use soap and water. She doesn't like it when I do it, but it has to be done. 

I have considered a bidet, but she told me more than once that she would not use it. So I never bought one.

I keep a "travel bag" in the car, just in case. It has a change of clothes. wipes, and underwear. Also plastic bags to put everything in if it gets dirty. I'll do the best I can if that happens, then shower when we get home. But she almost never leaves our property anymore, so that might not happen. Best of luck to you. 

Re: UTIs - my wife had them frequently. I started her on TheraCranOne last fall, and she hasn't had one since. We are now on our third bottle of ninety supply supply. It might not work for you, but I'm sold on it.

June45

Ed1937 wrote:

Re: UTIs - my wife had them frequently. I started her on TheraCranOne last fall, and she hasn't had one since. We are now on our third bottle of ninety supply supply. It might not work for you, but I'm sold on it.

Falcon, Ed's suggestion is a good one. I have known others who have success with that supplement. It doesn't cure a UTI but it can help prevent one.

60 falcon

Thanks for the suggestions.  I do need a longer hose for the handheld shower and will be buying one, thanks for the link to Amazon.  I've considered a bidet but haven't bought one, yet.  I might though, because wiping is a problem and having her stand and bend over isn't easy either.  I'll probably have her try the TheraCranOne though she likes and drinks cranberry juice frequently.

I can't imagine what it must have been like dealing with all these issues years ago before we had modern day conveniences, and before there was a group of folks like we have here.  I do wish there were baby wipes in bigger sizes.  Maybe there are and I just haven't seen them.

loveskitties

Amazon also has the adult size personal wipes.  Here is the link

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=adult+personal+wipes+for+elderly&crid=2YJUKAW8CNATK&sprefix=adult+personal+wipes,aps,172&ref=nb_sb_ss_midas-iss-sm_3_20

Sorry not a hot link, perhaps Crushed can give a quick tutorial on how to do them...

David J

As a caregiver husband, I want to thank you for bringing up this question. My wife had just begun to let me help her in the toilet and i am learning as I go. Well, as she goes!  It is hard but n both of us, and i want to make sure it is as painless ad possible for her. 

One question i would add is about wipes. I am using baby wipes by the dozen Are there adult wipes?  I couldn't find any in the store.

Ed1937

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=adult+personal+wipes+for+elderly&crid=2YJUKAW8CNATK&sprefix=adult+personal+wipes,aps,172&ref=nb_sb_ss_midas-iss-sm_3_20  

June45

And just remember the large wipes should not be flushed and even the wipes which advertise as being flushable shouldn't be unless of course you have a plumber in the family.  I had a plumber tell me that he gets calls all the time for stopped up plumbing because of the "flushable" wipes.  I keep a small trash can lined with a grocery bag beside the toilet.

Iris L.

You can get a shower chair with an indentation in the front for hygiene.  This will limit the need to bend over.  

Iris L.

Jo C.

There have been some good suggestions provided.

If you decide to get a shower chair with the front cut out; it would be good to check whether there are arms on the chair or whether it is armless.  Reason being, you will need your DW to be able to spread her lower limbs in order to gain sufficient access to the area needing cleaning.   With some chairs with arms, they restrict that ability.

The large adult wipes would not be able to be flushed; putting them in a bathroom trash basket presents problems not only with odor and bacterial issues  but with a LO accessing them.  However, there are a variety of adult "diaper" genie disposable systems.

In this device, there will be a closed receptacle that has a closing lid. One steps on a pedal to open the lid, and inside of receptacle there is enclosing disposable plastic that one can use to enfold and contain the disposed item. Of course there are plastic refills.  One can either twist and cut the plastic to hold each adult diaper or deposit more before closing and cutting off the diapers . . . . . BUT . . . . if one has to dispose of the adult wipes that have cleaned stool, this sort of disposal system seems as if it would  alsowork well.

The closed systems are nice in appearance and would keep the soiled items away from our curious LOs.

Just Google "Adult Diaper Genie," or, "Adult Diaper Disposal Container."  They run about $30 to $50.

Jeff86

I too appreciate the question, and the answers/responses.  We’re not yet at fecal incontinence, though have had a few messy episodes, but unassisted wiping is definitely inadequate.  

These are the larger wipes I use:

https://www.northshorecare.com/incontinence-products/personal-care/body-wipes/northshore-supreme-quilted-wipes/northshore-supreme-heavy-duty-quilted-wipes-x-large-150-count-350s

1962ART

Dear Falcon:  You are a dear for addressing the tough issues and taking care of your DW.  For us, in some instances, we are "not quite there yet" in our progression of these horrible diseases.  But I keep reading for ideas I can put away for future use.

I really have nothing to add, but I have lots of experience with personal cleanliness because of my own issues.

1.  Use unscented liquid soap, never the bar kind.  Perfumed products can dry sensitive skin as can the bar kind. Sometimes the best brands can be found in the children's section.  Sometimes the body wash can also be used as shampoo so you need fewer products. 

2.  For me, nothing can improve on a shower with a water wand that can be aimed where I need it most.  I am able to train myself to "go" in the morning and then I take my shower. A good wet wash cloth is essential to get completely clean.  I have a seat in my shower, so I put one foot up on it and can get right where I need to clean.

3.  If I have more than one "go" a day, I can be very uncomfortable unless I am absolutely clean.  I use adult wipes found in the toilet paper section of the store.  Never flush.  Save your old sandwich plastic bags or bread bags for the soiled wipes.  After using toilet paper, use one to two wipes. Follow with the Preparation H wipes found at your drugstore.  They are very soothing and also clean the last of the problem.  Everything goes into the plastic bag and into bathroom trash.  The Preparation H wipes also come in individual packaging so they can easily go in a pocket or purse.  (DH uses them when we travel, too.)

4.  One suggestion:  buy 10 or so inexpensive washcloths.  Rinse with warm water and just a drop of that liquid soap.  After cleaning with wipes above, use the cloths as a final cleansing step.  If you DW is standing, have her put one foot up on a little stool or tub/shower sill (while holding on to those grab bars you installed.) This helps present the area of the anatomy that needs to be cleaned.  (Very often, with a really wet cloth, only one swipe is needed.). Have the old-time, lidded diaper pail nearby with a solution of water and detergent in it.  After use, rinse the cloth in tub or shower and drop it in the diaper receptacle.  When full, dump the receptacle in the washer and add detergent.  Wash and dry on hot.  Obviously, have a different washcloth for showering.  One can just wash the rest of the body with the soap on a hand. Nobody's skin needs to be over-rubbed with a cloth. 

5.  Pat, never rub your DW dry.  Place a towel on the chair where she sits to be dressed.  This will catch any remaining dampness.

6.  Explore the possibility of getting a home health nurse referral from your county health department.  Even one visit might provide you with a wealth of knowledge, tips and products. 

You're doing great.  Sorry you had to learn all this tricks that we gals have been using for years to keep ourselves super clean!

Cherjer

Please invest in a bidet. Hand held might be hard, but we bought a Toto toilet and bidet. Has a remote and I control that as my husband cannot do that. The extra cost will make your life much better!