First time respite

Only_child_asks_why

My mother was diagnosed with AD one month prior to the pandemic but there was obvious memory loss for years that I had reported to the GP. About three months into the pandemic the diagnosis changed when a Geri Psych explained it was mixed dementia based on imaging. There are no risk factors like diabetes or heart disease. I am doing all the care coordination, finances, meds, supervision and my mother lives with me while I work full time. She has no insight or concept that I need a break. It's been exhausting especially with day programs here being able to offer only a few hours. My concern is my mother has moved from mostly pleasantly confused to having some sundowning and rummaging. During her few hours at the day program, staff show her a letter stating  I will be returning soon to calm her. I would like to take a week off by getting respite in a retirement home. I am looking for strategies to make it successful. I will ask the staff if the room could be filled with familiar things and if I could send a video of myself that staff could play for re-assurance. Please provide any other ideas.

M1

Hi there. I haven't done respite, but there are several threads about it and im sure others will respond. Seems like many places have a minimum stay time, mostly two weeks, so I dont know if you could arrange just a week. Cant hurt to ask though. And if its two, the better for you. Im sure you need it....Good luck.

abc123

Hi Only Child, I’ve never arranged a respite either but a lot of others here have done so successfully. We have a member named French who has done it. You certainly deserve a break. Don’t give up. I might take a lot of research and phone calls to make it happen but we’ll worth it. Good luck. Please keep us posted!

Cynbar

I sent my DH to respite for 2 weeks while I recovered from hip surgery. It went very well, he did ask to go home often but ate well and was just fine when I picked him up. Most of the facilities around here were open to respite (this was pre-COVID), from assisted livings to memory cares to nursing homes. All had a 2 week minimum. Once I decided on a place, the admissions people were helpful in discussing logistics and what to bring, and the staff on his unit took over upon arrival and really helped him settle in. I didn't bring a lot of personal items other than clothes and his favorite blankets for his bed and chair. Bring what you think will help, but then try to step back and let the staff take care of her and support her through the respite. They have done this before, and they can handle her behaviors. Your mother will be fine, although not necessarily happy, but a break for you is so necessary for both of you going forward.