Anxiety(3)

Khlpfrmom62

My mother has extreme anxiety before Dr's appts. One time we decided to take her to her appointment 2 hours early, so that she finally understood it was too early. She has another appt in a few days, and I am already dreading it. She doesn't have a good concept of time, anymore. Any suggestions on how to handle this?

loveskitties

Perhaps it is time to not tell her she has an appointment.  A fiblet as to another reason to go out and then end up at the doctor's saying he texted and want to see her.

Some times giving the LO advance notice only causes them distress.

harshedbuzz

Stop informing her ahead of time. Get her to ready to go using a low stakes reason like "shopping" or "Out for lunch". After, you can come up with a fiblet to stop by the doctor's office. Perhaps you need to pick up a prescription or are due for an appointment yourself.

HB

Khlpfrmom62

Hmmm...that could work, maybe. I'm not sure if she has enough cognitive abilities to figure that out, tho...

Emily 123

Hi,

She shouldn't have to figure anything out.  Don't tell her, so that she's not ramping up her anxiety over and over every time you remind her about the visit.

Take her out on an errand or to grab a bite, and tell her ''the doctor wanted us to pop in'' when you get to the doctor's office.

John2.0.1

I quit telling my mom about any appointment a year ago or more. She'd call every day asking if it's today. 

Since telehealth became widespread I would just show up at the MC with time to find her and visit a bit before the call.

Mom has zero sense of time. Since March every time I see her she's worried that Xmas is only week away and she's not ready. 

sharimcclure

My mom gets severe anxiety before any outing, eg doctors appointments. She recently started telling me not to tell her about appointments and instead just show up to take her. I am trying this now. I think it helps her.

eaglemom

You need to find a work-a-round that will work with your mom. Don't tell her she has an appt since that's the trigger for anxiety.

I put all of the appts on the calendar on the wall. DH usually looks at it in the morning & we discuss which day it is, etc. If he see's an appt written on it he might comment, but he usually doesn't. Within 30 minutes he's forgotten he read he had an appt.

DH gets antsy about "when should we leave?" So I just turn it into "I've got some errands to run, let's grab lunch while we're out" type of conversation. Lunch out always works! We do the appt and he will say he didn't know he had an appt - to which I simply say "I'm so sorry, thought I told you. You really liked that fish place last time, that sounds good, don't you think?"

Do whatever you have to do to ease her anxiety.

eagle