New phase of journey after father's fall

Musiclover73

Hi,

My dad fell at home last Sunday. He was not injured but they have kept him in observation. It's been deemed he's an unsafe discharge as My mom feels she cant take care of him at home any longer due to his anxiety and depression and need for attention or his perseveration on needing his oxygen checked  frequently and reassurance his  color was ok. Insisting he needs an ambulance  uz he's going to pass out or cuz of how his eyes and his head feel. He's had full work ups in including cardio so there is nothing heart related. I'm trying to figure out how to emotionally support my Mom now. I'm feeling a little overwhelmed.

Cynbar

So sorry to hear about your dad's fall, and the difficult situation at home. Is your mom open to your help with the placement process? If so, contact the discharge planner or case manager at the hospital (different places have different names for this person.) Your parents may have to give permission for you to be involved. The first step is figuring out the finances --- how will this be paid for? If Medicaid is needed right away, it can be a daunting task to get all the documentation together (proof of income, bank statements, cash value of life insurance, birth certificate, info on any other assets, proof of state residency, cops of insurance cards are the main ones.) You could be a big help with that. Someone should look into veteran's benefits too, if dad is a veteran. Once the finances are in order, you can also help by doing some research on local facilities. Be aware that some won't take Medicaid (if it is needed), and in some states like my Massachusetts assisted livings and memory cares are all private pay. The discharge planner can give you some assist with that info. But there is a lot of "legwork" to arranging placement, your mother will likely welcome a willing assistant.

Musiclover73

yes mom and I are joint Health proxy and power of attorney. She also has a trustworthy lawyer to help with the medicaid process. It's the same who did their POA and HCP. Yes I'm helping with the process or at least am in the loop. We love in Monroe county in NYS but there are no beds. Let me clarify the process we are looking at right now is 21 day rehab placement and then likely long term care. So there are no rehab beds available in our home county and the social worker will send it out tomorrow to 2 neighboring counties. I guess the rule is it has to go out to a 50 mile radius. We do have the option of having him rehab somewhere and having placed on the wait list for permanent placement at another site. They had been trying for community medicaid but the person who was to do that process dropped the ball and stopped communicating. Mom finally reached out to their finance person and lawyer. Luckily they rent their apartment and don't have many assets. The lack of assets is kind of a double edge sword...

storycrafter

It IS overwhelming and too much for one person. We need the active support of others on such a journey. One thought: Have you spoken with your local Alz support group/s and also the Area Agency on Aging? I don't know where you live, but in the USA, most cities/towns have these and they can be wonderful resources and founts of information on local assistance and support. A social worker or counselor familiar with geriatric/chronic illnesses/etc. could help you with ideas and ways to provide support to your mom. It's wonderful you care and are seeking help here. Don't hesitate to call the Alz helpline anytime; ask to speak with a care consultant who might have some helpful suggestions. Keep looking, reading, educating yourself on dementia/etc. until you find the support you need. It's worth it! Best wishes...