So sad, my husband has passed

KatieKat1

The Lord took my husband away this week after four years of battling Alzheimer.  This disease came like a thief in the night.  It seemed one day he was fine and then the next day things were not right with his memory.  He had all the tests -- no stroke, and so the Neurologist said he had Alzheimer.  He passed away in my arms.  Was on hospice for a few weeks and even though his blood pressure was dropping on a Friday, and by Monday he passed away.  Hospice said nothing about this and maybe they knew he would not be with us long.  Never had to use Morphine, etc.  Like his Dad and Brother he stopped breathing, but only after have problems catching his breath.  I put the oxygen machine on him but I do not think that helped since he would only breath through his mount.  He lost 75 lbs with this horrible disease.  I am sick to my heart that he is not with us any longer.  I was his sole caregiver for the four years and there were really some rough time due to my DH personality changes, but I would go through all of that again just to have him with me. Up until several weeks ago after DH had  hospitalization for dehydration, he was never the same once he returned home and hospice was needed to check on him now and then to check vitals, etc.

I now feel like it is difficult for me to go on.  I find it difficult to get motivated to go with life.  Sharing with my husband 44 years of marriage has now left me with no one to share the day-to-day life, even if it was just care giving for my husband 24/7.  I would do that for many more years if only he could still be with me.  The crying never stops even as I am leaving my final post on this Alzheimer web site.

M1

So sorry KK.  It doesn't have to be your last post.....give it time.  Everyone is still here to support you.

M1

So sorry KK.  It doesn't have to be your last post.....give it time.  Everyone is still here to support you.

Joe C.

My condolences on the loss of your husband. May you find some peace in the days ahead.

Doityourselfer

I'm sorry for your loss.  Take care of yourself.

piozam13

I'm sorry KK.  It wasn't easy when he was sick.  It won't be easy for you now that he's gone.   Be selfish and just think about  yourself.  You gave up a lot of things the past years. I am going through the grieving process myself these past months.   Would it be OK to email you

jfkoc

You have suffered a great loss. A spouse is many things to us and even though much of what they have contributed to our lives slowly eeked away the death leaves a big hole. 

On top of that you have lost your job ....caregiver.

People need time to grieve and to readjust. How much time? Each individual is different. You get to handle this trauma your own way. Please do not think otherwise.

I am only one of many who post here who are in "Stage 8". We really understand and are here for you on this board as well as the board for those who have lost someone. It took me a long time to feel motivated and then it came back slowly. It took me a long time not to feel that raw pain but the amount of time I felt it as well as the depth of  it did lessen.

JoseyWales

I am so sorry for your loss of your dear husband. I can feel your tears in your post.

May you find small glimpses of joy in the weeks ahead.

Buggsroo

KK

I am so sorry that your husband has passed. 

This must be very overwhelming for you. Don’t leave the forum yet, we are here for you.

Jo C.

Dear Katie, I extend my sympathy to you on hearing of the death of your beloved husband.  That is a loss that makes words insufficient.

Do know we continue to be here for you; many of us are still here years after our losses, you are always welcome to come and talk and share whenever and if you feel up to it and feel like doing so.

May solace soon come to bring you peace of spirit.

J.

Ed1937

Your emotions are normal. I'm sorry for your loss. But now is the time to make your new normal, which will not be easy for some time. But we're here for you when you need to talk.

DrinaJGB

So terribly sorry for your loss.

The poet Neruda wrote "There is no space wider than that of grief."

Jeff86

Deepest condolences to you on your DH’s passing.  You have been a magnificent caregiver.  Wishing you moments of peace and comfort in the difficult weeks and months ahead.

anneleigh

My deep condolences to you Katie.  I could feel the pain in your words.  Please stay and find comfort with others.

LadyTexan

Dear KatieKat.

I am so sorry for your loss. You have been through so much. May God comfort you and bring you peace. 

Please take care of yourself. 

-LT

ladyzetta

((((Dear KK))))))

I am one of those many who are in Stage 8. Please don't leave us you will get a lot of emotional support here. I received a lot if emotional support  that I am very thankful for.  I don't think I would have made it without all these shoulders I had to cry on.  We are here for you. Hugs Zetta  

Beachfan

I am sorry for your loss, Katie.  I hope you can find some peace and comfort in the days ahead and moving forward.  Take some time for yourself to rest, rejuvenate, and heal.  God bless.

abc123

Please accept my sincere condolences on the loss of your precious husband.

Mint

I am so sorry for your loss.

Last Dance

I am so sorry for your loss. Life can be hard and it is definitely hard when you have a love one with Alzheimer's. Moving into stage 8 is not easy sometimes I think it was harder then stage seven, but you can do it. just take one hour at a time. Remember the good things and forget the bad things.  God's Blessings to you as you start a new journey in life alone  Richard

Lorita

Hi Katie,

 Please accept my sincere condolences on your loss.  Those of us in Stage 8 know how hard it is and how sad you are.  I lost my husband of almost 44 years over 6 1/2 years ago.  It was like losing a part of myself - and it still is from time to time.  Getting over your loss or coming to terms with it won't be easy and it will take lots of time and lots of crying.

 Come back and post when you feel like it - we're here and we know what you're going through.  This forum is what has gotten me through the hard times and I'm sure others will agree.  We're here when you need to talk or just to let us know how you are.

 Again, I'm so very sorry.

mrl

Dear Katie,

I am so sorry for your loss. I too, would go back and do it again, but it's time for you

to grieve now.  The worst thing my DH ever did was die. We had 42 years.

God Bless,

Michele