How to combat LO's insistence on leaving every evening?

annfrance

Hi all, This is my first post as I just discovered you today! 

 My question:  what wisdom/experience can you share to combat your LO's insistence on leaving every evening?  Mom has only been doing this for 1-2 months now.  I guess this is a "sundowner moment"? 

 I've tried using logic (NOT recommended), changing the subject, praying for peace with her, handing her the cards to play solitaire (she LOVES playing), showing her photos, etc.  Usually, she finally relents and forgets but it's nerve-racking.  Any suggestions that have worked for you?  Thanks!

jfkoc

Hi Ann...

You might try leaving. Get in the car and take a drive.

Suzzin

My mom packs up every day to leave. At first I'd unpack everything and put it away, now I just leave it in the various bags she's found. When she wants to leave I sidestep and say "it's too late tonight, we'll stay here and leave tomorrow". At a push I'll claim she has a doctor or dentist appointment (she hates going to appointments but an Appointment is apparently non-negotiable!).  Don't argue or try to convince them...after a long and emotional battle even if you "win" they will forget tomorrow. I try to remember that a lot of the time "going home" means "I don't like this feeling and I want it to change", so I hug her and say that I will be with her and keep her safe no matter where she is.

M1

Welcome to the forum Ann. There are medications that can help with sundowning, such as the atypical antipsychotics--not that you want to medicate everything, but maybe let her docs know what you're seeing and if it escalates it's something to consider.

Just Ro

I agree with M1 on the medications.  I went through the same drill with my DH for several weeks.  Always packing his clothes wanting to leave; not recognizing me or the fact that our home was home. Hallucinations, delusions, wandering all stopped within a few days of starting him on Aricept and Seroquel. He’s been on medication for 4 months now and so far, so good.  They say the benefits of the medication won’t last forever, but we’ve gotten 4 pretty manageable months and that’s better than no manageable months.