Support group member's husband died

Crushed

We lost a support group member's husband this week.   He was a physician, very nice man.  He was for a time in the same memory care as DW.  and I used to take his picture and send it to his wife.  He died in Hospice, he was 73.  

We have been doing support group online.  I was the host this week  So I set aside a few minutes at the end for a Zoom Shiva.   I was the only man there , and not Jewish but I put on my yarmulke out of respect.  Our Jewish members thought it very cheery.  I used the record function for the Shiva and   sent the file to everyone. 

What can you say 

 

Jo C.

So sorry to hear of the death; what a lovely thing to do.

J.

loveskitties

How kind of you to go the extra mile to celebrate the life on someone you only knew thru the support group.

I am sure your efforts will be remembered.

Marilyn11

Although I have been reading your posts for years I just joined.  Thank you for all of the advice. My husband is 78, I am 64, we have been married for 35 years.  We have a 27 yr old daughter who lives 1 1/2 hours away.  She visits every other weekend.  My husband has two married daughters living 2500 miles away. My DH was diagnosed with MCI April 2016.  He has always scored 27-28 on the mini cog test, last month he dropped down to 24.  I have noticed a decline in the 7 months.  We do have all of our paperwork done, POA, estate planning, etc.

Something disturbing happened the last time our daughter was here.  She has a very nice figure and is pretty, she usually wears those tight yoga pants.  She was lying on the floor with her back towards her father.  He was staring at her derrière, when she walked by he was checking her bottom out again.  Then we were in another room, she left and my husband was checking out her bottom yet again.  He has never done anything like this before.  Although I understand that he is not in his right mind, I am worried.  I know that he can decline rapidly or not who knows, but what happens when he doesn’t recognize her as his daughter and tries to make a move on her?

I told her that she needs to wear a long tee shirt to cover her derrière and always have a fully charged phone with her when she is in the house (thanks to what I read on this board).  She guessed why I told her that.  I also told her if her Dad every said or did anything inappropriate that she needs to come get me, call 911, leave the house, or protect herself.  If he wasn’t my husband or her father I would have him packing his bags, the look was way too inappropriate.  

I would love your thoughts.

harshedbuzz

How kind. 

Your yarmulke is everything.

HB

John1965

May his memory be a blessing.