Help me please

Jamaicabound

My DH is in very advanced  Alz.  Hospice told us in May we were probably looking at weeks and he is still here .  I am truly thankful for the time but as he progresses it just gets harder.  He has been immobile since May and it takes two of my sons to move him from the bed to a chair.  We try to take him out in a wheelchair for a stroll when possible but I long to take him out to our favorite restaurant or just to the park.  When we take him out on the deck he just kind of stares.,  I have to feed him. He gets more distant everyday and I feel like sitting in a chair watching baseball or listening to music is speeding things up by not keeping him active.  Am I crazy for thinking about taking him somewhere in this condition?  Do I just need to accept what is happening and let him be?  Is it possible he is content just watching the baseball games he always loved?  Do you ever reach the point of acceptance?

Stuck in the middle

We pray for strength to change what we can, patience to accept what we cannot change, and wisdom to know the difference.  In this case, I think I would try for acceptance.  

If you have to feed him, why go to a restaurant?  If he just stares on the deck, he might as well watch the ball game.

I think you might want to get a caretaker so YOU can go to a restaurant and for a walk in the park.  

towhee

Jamaica, I don't believe you are speeding things up by letting him listen to music. It is even possible that the exertion of going to the park might be too much for him. It is hard to let go, I know, but try to give yourself a break from striving.

Iris L.

I think he would rather be with you and the family than in a restaurant.  Do you move his joints i.e. range of motion exercises?

Iris

HeartOnSleeve2210

Hello! I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I think that, even in the most advanced stages of AD, our loved ones are still in there, somewhere. I've read that some studies show that memory is not only stored in the brain, but in places like the heart. I believe he is content being in you and your family's company and watching the baseball games he loves. I hope I was able to give you even a little bit of peace!