You Say its Your Birthday

David J

Its my wife’s 66th birthday, but she doesn't know it. She received cards and gifts, but soon forgot.  Her cousin visited yesterday and brought flowers and a card, and my wife denied it was her birthday. We ordered out because we’ve reached the point where her behavior is disruptive to others in the restaurant. She got very upset at her cousins husband, and told him she hated him, and wanted everyone to shut up. A good time was had by all. 

I’m going to get a cake today, and make something special for dinner, and expect that she won't eat more than a few bites. She doesn’t finish meals any more; says shes not hungry. She’s losing weight again and is 95 pounds. She sleeps 12 hours per day and paces the other 12. 

You say it's your birthday

Well it's my birthday too, yeah

You say it's your birthday

We're gonna have a good time
I'm glad it's your birthday
Happy birthday to you

ElaineD

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MC2bNPOPKIU

Here's a youtube version of the song.

ElaineD

 

LadyTexan

David - Yesterday sounds like a tough day. Alas, days that were once special, often don't register for our loved ones. It can be heartbreaking. I hope today is better for you both.

Happy Birthday to your lovely wife! And yay you for making the day special, even though she may not realize the significance of the day. Your love for her shines through.

DrinaJGB

I'm so sorry. My DH knows when it is his birthday or mine and when our anniversary is, however, any event including Valentine's Day or Christmas comes and goes with no real fanfare-- no gifts, no card, nothing from his side of the situation at least. After 11 years I am used to it but it still saddens me about how much has changed in our lives. We recently had our 40th. I got a piece of paper with Happy Anniversary written on it. Saves  money at any rate I suppose.

Jeff86

Sorry, David, to hear how challenging yesterday’s celebration was.  A for effort and of course you don’t control the results.  

And yet there you are back in the saddle planning nice things for today.  Hope it goes better, though you are right to manage your expectations.

Sounds like your DW is progressing, alas.  No wonder you are struggling with the monumental decision about placement.  

You are an incredibly dedicated caregiver.  Whatever decisions you make, we’ve got your back.

David J

Thank you all!  I was feeling sorry for myself this morning, and you guys and gals helped pick me up. We do what we have to do every day, with as little drama as possible, and get to tomorrow. Its sure to be a better day!

Buggsroo

Hi David,

What a nice person you are, taking trouble to ensure a nice birthday for your wife. I am sure she would have loved it if she didn’t have dementia. I am sure your family also loved what you did. Dementia takes no prisoners.

nancyj194

Hi David, your day sounded most difficult.  I can relate to so many things you commented on, such as not going to restaurants.  My DH makes strange noises when he eats, which sounds like he might vomit and then he stares at people.  I finally gave up on going out to eat.  

The last few weeks,  he eats so very little, like your DW, taking a few bites then not eating anymore. His weight loss is showing. I bought some protein shakes and have been able to get him to drink half a little bottle. Is this not eating a common thing? 

Hang in there, you did so very well with your wife's birthday.