Swimming- Public Pool

DomsMom

My father is the primary caregiver for my mother who is in middle stage of Alzheimer's.   I am very frustrated since I do not have control over her care.  I am questioning if my father has his own cognitive issues and in my opinion is making poor decisions.  When I went to visit with my parents this weekend, my mother couldn't wait to tell me they were signing up at the YMCA to go swimming.  I asked my Dad why he thought this was a good idea since mother has urinary incontinence.  He replied that she could hold it.  I challenged that by asking why she wears incontinence undergarments 24/7 if that is the case.  I suggested that we test it and have her remove them while I was there and see how she does around the house.   His response was a firm no so he answered my question.  I did search the posts on this forum but didn't really see if caregivers felt swim incontinence garments work for urinary issues.  Has anyone had experience with this?   It breaks my heart to have to disappoint her.   I'm angry that Dad didn't think this through and/or doesn't seem to care.  Should I intervene and call the YMCA before he pays their membership?

abc123

Hi Domsmom! 

I’m going thru this with my parents right now. Could you share more info with us? My dad is 84, he is the primary caregiver and I live in another state but I’m with them now. Week three. 

I would call the YMCA and speak to a manager. A lot of seniors go just to swim. Explain the situation to them. They might suggest a special type of underwear your Mom could wear to swim. I’m sure they have dealt with this issue before. I wish you luck. I know it’s not easy. When is the last time your Dad has been to see a doctor? The stress of caregiver for a spouse is EXTREMELY hard. He may need a break. My dad just got home from a week vacation with his brother. He is well rested and had a good time. He deserved every minute. 

I’m sorry this is happening to you and your family. You are not alone. If I didn’t have this forum to come to, I think I’d go crazy! There are many good people here and they are walking the same path as you and I. Hang in there! 

Marta

I took my husband to he Y pool when he was in about stage 5 - no incontinence. 

When we were done, he could not find his locker in the dressing room. Male staff tried to assist him by looking through lockers, but he could not identify his clothing. Staff would not allow me in the locker room to identify his locker. 

It was winter time. I had to leave my husband sitting on a bench, wrapped in a towel, having begged the staff to keep an eye on him, while I went home to get warm clothes.  At closing time I was allowed to go in and get his clothes - they were in the second locker.

After that, we used the family dressing room (awkward)!

Please do not allow an incontinent adult to use a public pool. No garment can guarantee that urine will not leak out and contaminate the pool. 

mommyandme (m&m)

Babies and Toddlers go swimming with either just a plastic diaper cover to catch fecal matter or a swim diaper that again can really only catch feces.  Many people unfortunately urinate in pools and chlorine should be taking care of that.  

Of course I’m no expert but it sounds so lovely for her to go swimming, I’d give it a try.

LicketyGlitz

I don't know, Dom, there's going to be tons of battles in the future that this one might not be a top priority. Mommyandme brought up a good point that lots of people urinate in the swimming pool - they already account for that with the treatment. (Yeah, I was a kid who didn't want to miss out on the fun in the pool by running to the bathroom - ha!) Your mom is so excited, and your dad is probably proud he found something that is going to make her happy, if I was in this situation I think I'd let it be.

M1

DomsMom, might be worth asking your dad how he's going to handle the dressing rooms, I'd bet he hasn't thought that through. Marta has a good point there, she could easily get lost.

harshedbuzz

Given that it's a Y pool, and likely hosting lessons for folks from Mommy& Me on up, I'm guessing she's not the only one putting the "p" in pool. Dad could lessen that by toileting her just prior to going in and leaving just after.

Two of the gentlemen in mom's support group swam with their wives- one at their CCRC and the other at the Y branch which is on the property of a different CCRC. This wasn't much of a social event, but the hour at the pool seemed to calm and tired their wives out. 

Bigger picture item here is dad's cognition. Is he having a cognitive shift into impairment or are you seeing stress and depression in action vis a vis poor decision making. It might make sense to contact the PCP privately and share your concerns. Without a HIPAA waiver, the doc can't tell you anything but a good one might do a quick screening next appointment. 

As caregiver, my mother made a lot of questionable decisions as the result of a combination of depression, anxiety, exhaustion and not attending to her own medical well being. I thought we were supporting her as caregiver but it wasn't enough. 

HB

DomsMom

 

Thank you everyone for your responses.  I plan on calling his PCP who happens to also be my mother's PCP.  I was so disappointed how they handled my calls about her ALZ warning signs (my father did not recognize them or was in denial).  I got her to finally agree and went with them to an appointment and we were able to get a neurologist referral.  I've tried to get them to switch their PCP but they think he's wonderful,   I also convinced my mother to sign something allowing the doctor to speak to me.   I don't know if this will happen with my father but I'm going to try. I do think it's possible anxiety, depression and suggested to him that there are medications to help.  He sees those as mind altering drugs and has told me he will never take them.  He always adds there is nothing wrong with him.

I do appreciate everyone pointing out the fact that kids pee in the pool all the time.  Maybe it's not the battle I should choose to fight.   I will probably call the manager at the Y to discuss.   I was afraid of Mom getting confused in the locker room.  Believe me, nothing will stop my father from going in if he feels she's taking too long so they might be kicked out if that happens.  He told me he will stand outside the door and wait for her.   I will discuss the locker situation that someone mentioned too.   He needs to exercise so swimming would be good for both of them.

Jo C.

There is a reason why many public pools post signs asking swimmers NOT to pee in the pool.  It can make others ill - that is not a falsehood; it is fact.

PLEASE watch the video in this Forbes article regarding urinating in swimming pools, it is from science and is rather startling as most are not educated to the facts.  Written article has a bit of humor, but is factual:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/brucelee/2019/05/31/please-stop-peeing-in-the-swimming-pool-cdc-says/

I would definetly not take a LO to a pool if they are incontinent of either urine or stool whether they are wearing an incontinence item or not; the urine still soaks out of the garment and enters the water.    It is not appropriate and can actually put other people's health at risk . . . . yes; it does indeed do that even in pools that are using appropriate chemicals.

Not appropirate to tell our kids that it is okay to pee in a pool as some in my children's swim class had done.  Go to the bathroom before getting in the pool and get out if you have to go again; think of others.

Many people are not aware that peeing in the pool can be a health risk.  From article:

"Earlier this year, scientists reported that the average commercial swimming pool contains about 20 gallons of urine – a number they calculated based on the amount of artificial sweetener detected in pool water. " And more because other swimmers may well not use artificial sweetener.

It was surprising to learn that we may not realize that getting red eyes after being in a pool or having itchy skin, or coughing and even SOB, or even having an asthma attack can come from people having peed in the pool.  So now we know!\

https://www.cdc.gov/healthywater/swimming/swimmers/rwi/chemical-irritants.html

The idea that someone would swim in a publc pool within hours after having diarrhea, is a whopping gross surprise.  Even if not pooping in the pool, the anatomy is still sending out the organisms that caused the diarrhea.

We have a beautiful and well run olympic sized pool in our community.  I attended water aerobic classes there for quite awhile. . .  TWICE . . .  in two different instances, we all had to get out of the pool because BM was found in the water.  The entire pool had to go through a long process of special disinfecting with pool closed - it happens. 

So; if incontinent, not a good idea to be in a public pool or even a private one if others are sharing; and now that we know, we can do the right thing.

abc123

Thank you Jo C for the info!

Rescue mom

Friends managers at public pools say they prohibit incontinent  adults (and anyone in diapers) from swimming. Some elders protest, pool staff cites health regs. They also use some kind of “dye” that will show if a kid (or anyone) pees in the pool. Requires shutdown and special cleaning, as Jo discusses  above. Once is usually enough for the kids.

Different pools can have different rules, but aside from the sanitary issues, I’d worry more about the PWD being alone in a dressing room, or elsewhere, where the partner can’t be at her side. So much potential for problems.