Overfeeding the animals

M1

This is something I can't seem to stop.  My animal lover partner still takes great pleasure in our one dog, three cats (one indoor, two outdoor), and range of ducks and chickens.  Fortunately she lets me take care of feeding the dog.  But she still considers it her responsibility to feed the cats, and even though I have always taken care of the chickens, now she's started in on them too.

The two outdoor cats have dry food down all the time and are both hunters (I'll never have another outdoor cat after these are gone).  But she likes to give them wet food as a "treat" at night.  And now she's way, way overfeeding them, leaving tons of leftover food to stink up the garage, attract vermin, etc.--not to mention that it's not good for them.  At her insistence we risked a trip to one of the pet food stores in a nearby (maskless) town a week ago, to get some new options--she was convinced they didn't like what she was giving them because they weren't eating it (overstuffed, in my opinion).  She bought $92 worth of canned cat food of various varieties--and today, a week later, it's all gone, she wants to go again.  I have said no, and have another $82 worth on order from Chewy.

I hate to take this away from her and frankly am not sure how to go about it.  She wouldn't fall for a lie about wet food not being available because of the pandemic.  But this is not sustainable.  I may have to hide the wet food and dole it out a can at a time each night, if I can figure out how to do that.  Similarly, she's started going out to the chicken run each night and putting down way, way too much food, which also attracts vermin and other pests:  we've lost two chickens in the past week to a wily raccoon that has literally pulled the wire off the run.  I'm sure it can smell the food that's out there.  When these chickens and cats go, no more.  It may be time for one of the automated pets at that point, though right now she'd still see through that in a heartbeat.

If anyone has any interim suggestions, I'm open!!  It's not the money, but I feel sorry for the animals and it's wreaking its own mild havoc.....

Ed1937

For more than one reason, this is not sustainable. Hide the food, or figure out something to tell her why this can't continue. Maybe do a google search for pet food contamination, and you will likely find quite a few hits that are not current. She doesn't have to know they aren't current.

We had an elderly neighbor about 10  years ago, who fed feral cats. He was so infested with fleas that he was in quarantine in the hospital until they could take care of the problem. That was not a fun time for him.

loveskitties

Is there any way for you to ration what food she is putting out?

Is there any way for you to at least take up the wet food after she goes to bed?  May be some of the dry food for the outside cats?

Is the chicken feed on the ground or in dishes/bowls (can tell I am not a farm gal!)?  If not, taking it up after bed time won't be as easy.

Bless her heart...wanting what is "best" for the animals.

Rescue mom

Hide the food…although you have so much and so many critters to deal with, which seems a lot harder. I know you don’t want to “take it away” from her, but maybe she’ll be ok feeding one or two, in amounts you rationed out when she’s not looking, while hiding the rest. Hopefully she will forget soon about feeding others. It’s good you stopped the store trips.

I had this problem with my DH giving the dog too many treats and food that was bad for her. (Earlier it was too much dog food, she got way fat, but that was relatively easy to control)  Canned food is easier to hide and control, IME. Dry can go in small-portion baggies.

The dog  had a couple bouts with painful pancreatitis because of the people food he gave her. It took constant watching..it’s  hard being the food police, and yes, he was sometimes disappointed when he couldn’t give her that.  At least he forgot/got over it pretty fast. Watching  a dog suffer from pancreatitis is much worse.

Caregivers don’t just have to watch out for the PWD, they also have to make sure the PWD does not hurt the animal. They don’t mean to, but they don’t know.

abc123

M1, I'm so sorry this is happening. My neighbor had three chickens and I got attached to them. I did a lot of pet sitting for them. A coon killed all three of them over a weeks time.  It was very upsetting to see how badly the coon tore up the chickens. It was a bloody mess. I'd hate for you or your LO to experience that.  I wish I had some helpful advice.

harshedbuzz

My friend had this issue with her mom. It's pretty common. Funny how nobody wants to take over cleaning the litter box.

She used a combination of portioned out food for the cats (measured amounts in Ziplocs the rest put away)  and let mom give dry treats a couple times a day and appealing to authority. Their vet agreed to be the bad guy (girl, actually) and write a note about the cats' diets saying that they could only have a specific kind of cat food and a certain amount.

Not long after this, mom started to act strangely enough that the cats avoided her. My friend checked out a Joy For All Cat (from the local library of all places) to trial with mom since I suggested it. She didn't think mom would be interested, but she was enthralled. 

HB

M1

Good/funny point about the litter boxes HB!  I do find myself having to check to be sure they've been cleaned, changed, etc.  Appreciate the suggestions.  I'll just have to keep seeing if I can wrangle ways around it.

Buggsroo

I can get behind this big time. I have four cats, now down to three because my husband was giving them food way too often. Two of my cats are on special fibre diets because they get constipated on regular food. I have to also give them cisapride and lactulose to make sure they have regular bowel movements. 

Jon feeds them way too much and I had to put one cat to sleep because despite the meds and special diet, he was giving treats and way too much of the other food. I finally told him not to feed the cats whatsoever, I medicate them and do the feeding. I have hidden the cat food and I do all the feeding. The cats are feeling much better. Good luck with this, I feel quite stressed but now that I have taken over it, I feel better.

You might want to take over the feeding of the outside critters, once they have eaten, remove the food for the cats. As for the chickens, it will prove their undoing if they attract vermin.

Jo C.

If it isn't one thing . . . .

I am sorry; this really is a challenge.  Wonder; do you have a vet that makes visits to the ranch?  If so, can you clue him/her in and have a visit where the vet lays down the law regarding feeding and even putting it in writing so it can be Posted?  That may work for awhile.

Other than taking a hard stance and forcing a halt to the behavior by not permitting her to do any feeding which would cause quite an upset for awhile if you can put up with it, the only other thing I can think of would be for you to take over the feedings by locking food away and by you taking out the out correct the amount of food at the appropriate times BUT letting her actually put the measured food in the bowls for the cats and in the chicken area for the hens. Still would probably cause her upset, but I do not think there is a way around this without some upset to one degree or another.

Otherwise, if there is no control there will be higher losses and more vets bills not to mention pest control.

Wish I had a better suggestion, let us know how it is going.

J.
 

M1

Thanks all. I'm going to have to intervene somehow. Its been an odd day overall. Sundowning is starting to escalate, around 5pm she wanted to spray some bat dung off the driveway, got herself very confused when she couldn't find the nozzle for the water hose and insisted that she could use one of the nozzles for the vacuum cleaner instead. Then just as we were going to bed I found that she'd pulled out an old handgun and put it by her bed-thats disappearing tomorrow. No clue where she found it or how she got it out. I've got her an appointment with our pcp on Monday, first in person appointment in over a year. glad we have it.

Jo C.

Oh gosh M1, I am sorry; a gun!   I am sure you have removed it and will have also removed any other firearms that be in the house.  Need to avoid any potential dread outcomes that can happen.  I can only imagine how startled you were.

You certainly have been facing increasing unique and significant challenges; it must at times be exhausting.

You have been such a good person and trying to keep your LO from being upset and letting her have quite a bit of autonomy.  However; if I may be so bold, to continue on in that vein at this point is probably not in anyone's best interests as there now are very real consequences to her increasingly potentially harmful actions. 

Sadly, many of us reach a point at which we can no longer accommodate our LOs whims and off center behaviors.  Our LO getting angry and being loud and acting out when whims are thwarted can be part of this journey.   It is very uncomfortable to deal with, but no other way.

You mention taking your LO to her primary MD; it would in all probability be a positive for her to also see her dementia specialist at this juncture for the most appropriate plan of care and review of her meds. 

It is very evident in your writing the caring effort you put into the care you are providing.  I so hope that things can simmer down, but do prepare that you may be hearing a bit of "noise" when it is necessary to keep her from the highly negative if not downright dangerous in various ways activities.  Uncomfortable for awhile, but that too passes.  Been there, done that, bought that T-shirt as the saying goes.

Let us know how YOU are doing; your health and well-being counts.

J.

Rescue mom

Hopefully she can be OK just feeding a couple of the animals. When DH was over feeding, I put the dry food in a bunch of small baggies.  I hid the big bag, and told DH the big bag got torn/fell apart, something like that, and he had to use the little bags. I also hid most of those, just brought them out as needed. I was afraid he’d notice the big bag was gone or always “torn”for months, but he didn’t.

I also started buying mostly single-serve can food, and also hid those except when I gave DH one so he could feed dog. (Hiding all this was hard because DH rummages so much). Sometimes I got big cans that needed a can opener, so I hid the can opener. (We rarely use it otherwise.)

But with so many inside and outside, that’s a lot for M1 to deal with.

The gun is a whole different thing. Scary. I say hide stuff, but it is truly amazing what DH has found that I thought was hidden. I think he’s the bathroom, go check, and he’s rummaging through places I did not even know were places…..

DrinaJGB

Oh dear what a fright that must have given you!!! It made me gasp just reading it. I can't imagine.

M1

Let me just add, my partner grew up shooting rattlesnakes and snapping turtles in Texas and was a crack shot.  She grew up with guns, while I did not (at all).  She lived alone most of her adult life, working with some fairly rough characters in construction who knew where she lived, and she was always comfortable having guns around for protection.  She kept a handgun by her bed for years (no kids ever around).  But the only handgun we've ever needed on the farm was a .22 pistol that we used on injured animals sometimes.  A couple of years ago I insisted on getting a gun safe and have it downstairs, with the keys under my control.  There are a couple of rifles in there and a shotgun that used to belong to her father.  There's no loose ammo anywhere.

I think this handgun was one she thought was lost but must have been in her closet somewhere--she recently did a rummaging cleanout.  And certainly, this gun is disappearing today as soon as I can get her out of her bedroom (had a bad night).  But yesterday was an odder day than most, for sure.  I was very distressed to find it, as I thought I had this taken care of.

JulieB46

Both of my labs were up 10 lbs at their yearly check up this year.  I am sure my DH has been feeding them twice several times a week. I work during the week and I now have a sign on their food bin that says, “Don’t feed the boys until 5 pm” which means I feed them.